A little joke that makes your girlfriend happy.

A little joke that makes your girlfriend happy.

In real life or work and study, people often hear jokes. According to the different writing time limit, composition can be divided into limited composition and unlimited composition. Then the question comes, how to write an excellent composition? Here are some jokes I collected to make my girlfriend happy for your reference, hoping to help friends in need.

Little joke to make my girlfriend happy 1 1 Once I was drinking with my friend, he was drunk and I was a little tall. I was taking a taxi and my friend was vomiting. I stopped a few cars, turned around and left.

Finally, I met a kind big brother who was willing to drive us. When I got off the bus, I was grateful. Who knows, the driver's eldest brother said, if I don't drink today, I won't pull you!

I saw a beggar kneeling on the ground in the city today, with some coins and paper money in the basin. At this moment, a waiter came out of the restaurant next to her and saw her throw a 10 yuan note into the basin. Suddenly, admiration came into her heart. Then I saw her counting 10 coins in the basin and taking them away. ...

3. There are two universities in Nanjing, one is Nanjing University; One is called Southeast University. It is suggested that the two schools merge, but the name of the merged school is a difficult problem.

It is suggested that each school write a word to spell a new school name. This suggestion was unanimously agreed by everyone.

Nanjing University puts forward that there is a Beijing and a South word in the southeast of Nanjing University;

Southeast University puts forward that Nanjing University has a south word and an east word in the southeast.

A woman asked her best friend to accompany her to follow her husband. As soon as her husband entered a house, she said to her best friend, kick the door open quickly.

My best friend said: don't worry, wait a few minutes to kick, and you will catch the current situation.

She quickly said: No, I can't catch anything for a few minutes. ...

My girlfriend is happy. Joke 2 1, female: Honey, I just weighed myself and gained 5 Jin.

M: Nothing, it's the Spring Festival. Who doesn't eat more delicious food?

Woman: Yes, others must be fat, too. Everyone is fat, which means they are not fat!

2. M: We have been dating for so long. What do you think of me?

Woman: I have a feeling of eating Yuanxiao on the fifteenth day of the first month.

M (surprise): Kind and natural?

Woman: No, it's sticky.

Hall asked his girlfriend, "Where do you want to play most on Valentine's Day?"

The girlfriend replied, "The zoo."

Who knows, the goods said, "Do you know that there is a shortage of dinosaurs in zoos? ! "

4. Girl: What about the hometown specialty you promised to bring back to me last year?

Boy: I am a specialty of our hometown. ...

When I came back from the festival, the woman asked: Is it a man who took good care of me when I was drunk but didn't?

Man: Not a man!

3 1. The girl refused the boy's confession and said, "I am one year older than you." The boy said, "When I was 1 month, you were 13 months, and you were 13 times my age. When I was two months old, you were 14 months old, and you were seven times older than me. When I was one year old, you were two years old, and you were twice my age. We are always getting closer and closer. " The girl said, "Don't be silly. After I finished the big class, I went to my grandmother's house to go to elementary school. "

Xiaoming came back from the exam and said to his father, "Today, we had an exam." Dad said, "Do you have any questions that you can't do?" Xiao Ming said, "there is a question: what is 3 times 7?" I forgot. " Dad said, "How much did you fill in?" Xiao Ming proudly said, "Whatever, I filled in 28."

My brother is married and the bride is a nurse. One day I asked the buddy, "Why do you like her? Is it because she is beautiful? " He adjusted his glasses and said seriously, "When I was young, I was often ill. Every time those nurses and sisters will stab me with a needle, I swear I must stick it back when I grow up! "

King Jinjiao turned the gourd upside down and shouted "Monkey Sun". Wukong replied and was sucked in. He saw that besides the Monkey King, there were Song Wu, Sun Quan and Liu Er, a group of monkeys. The king was surprised: "It's just Monkey Sun. Why are you here?" At this moment, Bao Hulu spoke: "These are the people you may be interested in ..."

5. Zhang Sanfeng: "Promise, how much do you remember about my Tai Ji Chuan?" "More than half." "Not bad!" ... "How much do you remember now?" "I have forgotten more than half." "It's hard for you." ... "How much do you remember?" "I have completely forgotten." "Very well! Very good! I just made a mistake, and now I'll teach you again. "

6. Zhou Yu, Sima Yi and Cao Cao came to the underworld after their deaths. Yan: All three are outstanding talents in the world. What regrets have not been realized? Zhou Yu, Sima Yi and Cao Cao said, We all admire Zhuge Liang, so we might as well sigh. We hope to be better than Zhuge Liang in the next life. Hades: Well, as you wish. Zhou Yu, Sima Yi and Cao Cao were reincarnated together and became three cobblers when they grew up.

7. There is a monkey with bananas and durian in front. Guess which one it will choose? Bananas! Wrong. Durian? Well, durian. Why? Don't monkeys like bananas best? Because, because, sometimes monkeys, sometimes monkeys, would rather choose durian than let go.

It is said that an old man was accidentally knocked down by a luxury bus, and the old man got up immediately without saying anything. There are many comments from the onlookers: "It's good for the elderly", "The quality of the elderly in Beijing is so high that they don't touch porcelain" and "The elderly are in good health". Then the old man spoke: "Come on! When I am stupid! If you don't get up, your ass will be cooked! " .

9. On the way to work by bus, a young pregnant woman and a beautiful woman (visual inspection, best friend) sat next to me and started chatting. Pregnant woman: "I like spicy food since I had this baby!" " Beauty: A hot and sour girl must be a girl! "Pregnant woman:" Will I have a boy if I eat sour now? " Beauty: "no, it's a woman at most!" " "

10 A beggar in Lu Yu said to me with tears in his eyes, "Have pity on me, I can't remember the last time I had a full meal." I felt sorry for him and comforted him: "Don't worry, you will always remember it when you think about it slowly."

1 1, a: "Where did Brother Tai graduate?" B: "No talent, the latest college." A: "Famous schools!" B: "it's too harsh. Dare to ask your Excellency? " A: "Brufley is studying." B: "Wow! The future is boundless! " I walked by without looking at anything else. Isn't this the New East and Lan Xiang? There's nothing to show off in an ostentatious manner!

12, a woman asked a Taoist priest to exorcise ghosts and said, "Master! It's been really weird lately. First, I went up the stairs, and the wooden stairs were smashed. Then I sat in the chair, and the chair was broken! The most terrible thing is that when I sleep at night, the bed actually collapses. Please ask the master to help me! " After hearing this, the Taoist priest took out his peach wooden sword, waved it, pointed it at the woman and shouted, "You should lose weight!" " "

13, the white snake was injured and showed its original shape. Xu Xian went to the West Lake to find the boatman. Anxiously asked, "Tell me where my wife is? Where's my wife? " The boatman looked blank: "I, I don't know ..." Xu Xian grabbed the boatman like crazy: "You didn't know there was a ferry? ! "

14, it is said that to test whether a boy likes you, you can stare at him 18 seconds to see if he can kiss; To test whether a girl likes you, you can stare at her for 18 seconds to see if she will laugh. I don't think this experiment can succeed at all in Northeast China, because it is estimated that the following dialogue will take place in less than 5 seconds: "What are you staring at?" "Look at you!"

15, a lot of facts have proved that women can't be provoked: Qin Shihuang provoked Meng Jiangnv, and the newly built Great Wall was cried down; Cao Cao provoked Xiao Qiao, and Chibi was burned; Li Shimin provoked Wu Meiniang and Jiangshan was taken away; Xianfeng provoked Cixi, and the Qing Dynasty perished. Huang Shiren provoked the white-haired girl and was knocked down ... so respect every woman around you.

16, I feel uncomfortable with a cold. She texted her boyfriend "I have a cold" in bed and decided to kick him if he answered "Drink more water". After a while, the mobile phone vibrates, and the short message reads: "Open the door." This big idiot! Who sent him! She got up and rushed to the door. At this time, the mobile phone shook again. She opened the door with one hand and excitedly opened it with the other: "Breathe more fresh air and exercise more."

17, a famous disabled person in high school Chinese class. The teacher gave examples of Zhang Haidi and Hawking, and then we took it as a topic. A classmate directly stood up and said: Yang Guo! Then Mei Chaofeng and Duan Yanqing came out below, and the climax was a classmate shouting: Dong Fangbubai! The teacher got angry on the spot ... a joke to make you happy!

18, once I walked on the road and found 80,000 yuan. The landlord wants to return it to the owner in the spirit of finding money, so he has been standing in the same place waiting, waiting, waiting! It's been more than four hours and the owner hasn't come yet. If he doesn't come to get it when something goes wrong, how can he play mahjong with few words? I am really worried about him! ! !

19, Tang Priest: Our road expenses are over. As a last resort, we must sell one of you for money. Wukong: This kind of sacrifice should be understood. Bajie: I just don't know who to abandon. Friar Sand: Give up the goods with the lowest contribution. Seeing everyone's eyes glancing at himself intentionally or unintentionally, Bai quickly reminded Tang Priest: Master! Who will ride instead of me? ! Tang priest smiled with relief, and then Bai was sold …

20. On that day, I chatted with my father: "Dad, if you are young, you will suffer more. Maybe I am the rich second generation, the official second generation. " Dad said, "You are suffering more now. Your son is a rich second generation and an official second generation." Me: "Why should I suffer and let that little bastard enjoy happiness?" Dad: "That's what I thought ..."

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