I think I am a joke.

Then laugh. No big deal. It's much easier after laughing. A person who knows how to laugh at his own stupidity and humor is the beginning of progress and a pleasure. The key is how to deal with your shortcomings after you find them. Some people give up on themselves, while others strive for progress. Young people, don't aim too high, start from the little things around you, do every little thing well, cultivate the habit of self-confidence and success, and then you can cope with the big things calmly. You tried hard but didn't succeed, just because your goal was too high and you were laughed at as a joke. This mentality is unacceptable, my friend. You should adjust your mentality and move on.