Why don’t women get divorced after domestic violence?

This question is like why many women can tolerate cheating without getting divorced. Everyone's experience is different, and everyone has different shackles and shackles. We are not those who suffer domestic violence. Others must have their own reasons for choosing not to divorce. I think the reasons why she didn’t leave are as follows:

First: It may be due to the influence of her original family.

In the original family, the mother or the person who has suffered domestic violence herself or has suffered domestic violence for a long time will invisibly suffer domestic violence again in her future marriage. This kind of domestic violence is not the fault of the other party. It's a domestic violence type, but it's the influence of the woman's family of origin. She lacked love since she was a child and suffered abuse from her family. When a woman has a conflict with a man, she will arouse the man and constantly stimulate him with words, such as "Come on, hit me if you can", and then the domestic violence will begin. This is the root problem and cannot be solved by divorce.

Second: Because of the children

After women have children, they will become extremely strong. They will endure it for the sake of the children. If they have no financial resources, they must rely on the man to support them. As for life, you can only endure it. They have not realized the importance of female independence and have no strength to step out.

Third: Afraid of facing rumors from the outside world.

When you are injured, you definitely don’t want your relatives and friends to see it. You cannot hold your head up in front of them, for fear of being laughed at, or for fear of being looked down upon or sympathized with. They covered their pain, showed it to others with a smile, pretended as if nothing had happened, and endured it with strength.

Fourth: Being threatened

It may be that the man is controlling and threatening him, and he is afraid of hurting his family members or other innocent people. You can only choose to be wronged and bear it yourself.

No matter what the reason is for experiencing domestic violence, we hope that women will understand that domestic violence is the same as cheating, there are only 0 times and countless times. When you suffer from domestic violence, you must step out bravely, otherwise it will affect your subsequent children as analyzed in the first point above. If you are suffering from domestic violence, then your child’s family of origin is a type of domestic violence. His future marriage and even his children will be affected. If he doesn't step out, it will only lead to a cycle of evil behavior.

The most common reason for not getting divorced due to domestic violence is that they can’t let go of their children. For the sake of their children’s growth, they have been forbearing it. There are people like this around me too. I think that such forbearance is good for the children. In fact, it is better to do this sooner. Getting divorced and changing your lifestyle is not good for your children. Growing up in such a family is not good for your children's physical and mental growth.

Why don’t women get divorced after domestic violence?

Answer: Because they are trapped in a terrible relationship with two sentences. First sentence: If I leave him, I will be beaten to death by him. Most people cannot understand the fear of many women who have been victims of domestic violence. Because the other party has no lower limit, this means that the other party can use all means to control you, including depriving you of your life. This kind of violence will cause a kind of mental control, in which people will have a strong sense of "powerlessness", that is, you cannot protect yourself. I have seen the news before. A woman named Ning Shunhua went to court for five consecutive years to sue her husband for domestic violence and relationship breakdown. She asked for a divorce, but the court refused to agree because her husband ignored the law and could issue the divorce in court. Death threat: As long as the court rules, I will kill you after leaving the court. This man was often caught for beating his wife and her family members, so his statement had a certain degree of "credibility". His threats made the judge feel scared and did not dare to rule easily. If a person does not care about any consequences, even his own life, it means that you are living on the edge of death at any time. So don’t think that this is just the angry words of such a violent man. There are real news reports that when a woman divorces her, the man will drive her and her lawyer to death. For this kind of "desperate man", many women have no choice but to let him control them in order to "survive". Ning Shunhua finally divorced because the news reports aroused public opinion and the court decided to divorce her. Ning Shunhua also said that every time she went to court to file for divorce, she brought a suicide note with her "I would rather die than surrender." Belief, this is how the marriage was divorced. Second sentence: If I leave him, my life will be worse. There is a cruel statistic. The average woman will choose to report the crime after she has been domestically abused 35 times. Why is this so? The next words may be even crueler: "One is willing to fight, the other is willing to suffer."

Often violent men attract "masochistic" women. If a woman has been accustomed to a "masochistic" environment since she was a child, she will often be accustomed to being "badly treated" and lack "self-boundaries". She is accustomed to a "Madonna-type personality" and is not very able to love herself. And can only love others. If you go deep into the family of origin of such women, you will often find that they often lack love since they were young, and are either over-controlled or indifferent and alienated. What they must learn from childhood is to suppress their emotional needs and let their self-consciousness To disappear, you must take care of others and forgive others for all the unfair treatment they have done to you. Therefore, they are often accustomed to asking themselves for everything and cannot blame others. Or it is always easy to feel sorry for the other person and ignore yourself. A "violent" man is essentially a "giant baby". They are unable to take responsibility for their actions and cannot manage their emotions. This is exactly what attracts "masochistic" women because they have long-term What is suppressed is precisely an angry, indifferent self. So first of all, they don't believe that if they leave this man, there will be someone who will treat them well. Secondly, I don’t believe that I deserve a better man. The third is to always feel sorry for someone who hurts you, just because the other person is like another self in your heart. Under these three psychological effects, they cannot leave a "toxic relationship" and continue to live a life of abuse. Therefore, the most important thing for a woman like this is to find a psychological support point outside marriage and develop a broader interpersonal support system so that she will not rest on her laurels and live in her own trauma.