Funny jokes with connotations

10 funny jokes

top1

The air conditioner is finally installed at home, in my parents’ bedroom.

The weather was very hot, so my dad asked me: "Is it hot in the room where you sleep?"

I complained: "I don't have air conditioning, so it must be hot!"

My dad said: "Then when you sleep at night, stick to the wall of our bedroom so that I can turn on the air conditioner and you can be cooler!"

What a real dad!

top2

After playing with my friends all night, I went to take a bath. I lay on the bed and let the master rub me with me. The master had strong hands. While rubbing, I asked my friend: "Does it hurt?" Friend replied: It hurts! Master: You have to endure it, it won’t hurt or make you wet. Because I didn't sleep all night, my friend fell asleep. The master patted me, but my friend didn't respond... The master who gave me a bath was surprised: "People said it hurt, but he was so vigorous!" Rubbing to death?

top3

When I was on the train, there was a beautiful girl on the bunk below me. She kept listening to music with headphones and humming along from time to time. It was so unpleasant that I reached out and knocked on the bed and said: Beauty Can you please stop singing and let me sleep for a while. She was stunned for two seconds: Then come here! Lying down, all sleep was gone...

top4

After visiting the supermarket, the cashier noted the price and said, "Sixty-nine dollars and three." I took out my wallet. , where is the money? After tossing and turning, there were only a few dollars left. The buddy in the back asked: "What's wrong? Did you forget to bring money?" I suddenly remembered, turned around and said: "I had a fight with my girlfriend last night. Could it be that she emptied my wallet as revenge? Oops!" The buddy smiled. He said, "You poor kid, let me pay you in advance!" A few seconds later, he took out a sanitary napkin from his pocket and shouted, "I almost forgot! I had a fight with my girlfriend yesterday. ”

top5

There is an unwritten rule in the company that when the phone rings during a meeting, everyone must buy a bottle of water. Today, the poster secretly called everyone one by one when he had nothing to do. Suddenly the boss's phone rang... I can't forget the look in his eyes now!

top6

The girl I had been dreaming about wore a wedding dress in front of me and said she was willing. I was immediately overwhelmed with excitement and couldn’t even speak. Fortunately, someone reminded me Me: "Host, please speak!"

top7

"Boss, I want to resign."

"Why?"

"The world is so big, I want to see it."

"That's good. I support your idea. By the way, how much is the monthly mortgage?"

"5000 . "

" What about social security? " "

" What about gas, water, electricity and property fees? Almost 3k. "

"Have you not accounted for the expenses of your shopping-loving wife and baby? "

"Boss, I have two promotions on the weekend. "

"Actually, I quite support your idea..."

top8

There is a store on the way lz must pass by when commuting. Every time I go to a clothing store, the girl at the door will always say: Handsome man, would you like to take a look inside? Entire price is 39 yuan! lz said: Do you also have 39 yuan? As a result, the girl next to me was drinking milk tea and sprayed all over me...

top9

Last night I was walking in the park and went to the canteen to buy a bottle of water. When I paid, I found that there was no water. Bring a wallet. A pretty girl next to me saw this and paid for me without saying a word. I felt grateful in my heart, so I asked the girl for her phone number and planned to pay back the money or something. The girl said faintly: Uncle, I gave you the water, so don’t worry about it...

Top10

Question: What kind of magic weapon have you been beaten by your parents before?

God’s comment: I didn’t see it clearly! As soon as it came on, I was dizzy! ;