30 super funny quotations that young people like.

1. Give me a pillow and I can sleep for a century.

2. Don't think that just because you have Tan Can can cover up the fact that you are an idiot.

As long as we have confidence, anything is possible.

I used to be young and energetic, but now my youth is gone, so am I.

5. I'm not the kind of person who hits people when they are down. I just closed the well.

6. The tragedy of life is that when you want to do anything, you only have a knife.

7. The first guy who knows that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?

8. There are not many ladies in the world.

9. Don't give up, never leave this life; If you don't like it, die.

10, when I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital!

1 1, raise your head 45 degrees just to stop your nose, and lower your head 45 degrees just to wipe your nose from being seen.

12, the girl who looks at the sky is very lonely, and the boy who looks at the sky is looking for UFO!

13. The poor monk came to the Tang Dynasty from the east and made a special trip to the Western Heaven to worship Buddha and find relatives.

14, as long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.

15, Goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, light the fire and cover the pot!

16, living in this era of grass mud horse, we must hold the mentality of dying for everything.

17, you said ice is sleeping water, I only remember that fart is a breath of shit.

18, God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my grandson.

19, I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.

20. We live in the gutter and still have the right to look up at the stars.

The more people I know, the more I like animals.

22. News broadcast cattle 13 means that even if you have been changing channels, you can watch a piece of news completely.

23. I wanted to eat my sadness in one gulp, but I became fat in one gulp.

24, my future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare!

Please raise your left hand if you love me, and raise your middle finger if you love others.

26. I really want to now, but my mood is salty and fragrant.

27. Who told me that Nokia can smash walnuts? Now the screen is black.

28. I'm not Youlemei, I'm just dichlorvos. Do you want to hold me in your hand?

29. Stealing food is not my fault, but the loneliness of my mouth.

30. People laugh at me for not wearing anything, and I laugh at others for not wearing anything.

30 interesting quotations from life

1, a real warrior, dares to face his own face.

2. To be a man, you must be a person who lingers between Niu A and Niu C. ..

3. If the tree is not peeled, it will die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

5, raw, easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

6, life is like toilet paper, nothing, try to pull less!

7, work, take a step back, fall in love, take a step back, people go to the building.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

9. Clap your head to make a decision, and clap your chest to make sure to leave.

10, life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.

1 1. Once you were my world, now all directions have replaced you.

12, every day, I draw a circle on my calendar. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life was an ellipsis.

13, your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

14, my god, did you let summer and winter share a room? Give birth to this damn weather!

15, I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, and only wind energy accompanies me.

16, hello, the number you dialed has passed away, please dial again in your next life.

17, my future is not a dream, but a nightmare.

18, there is a fill-in-the-blank question called not at all; There is a multiple-choice question that looks right; There is a writing topic called "I want to cry when I write".

19, the success of a person's life depends on the memorial service.

20. My three idols when I was a child: Lei Feng, Zhang Haidi and Zhang Ga. Reddy Gaga for short.

2 1, forcing death is only an instant, shameless that is eternal!

22. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

23. I am a civilized person, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.

24. I want to buy things when I am angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money.

25. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is a small fire and marriage is a big fire.

26. Raise your head 45 degrees just to keep your nose from staying, and lower your head 45 degrees just to wipe your nose from being seen.

27. I fell in love with you at first sight, and I woke up at the second sight.

28. Women's universities have changed eighteen times and become more and more casual.

29. Lying will always be exposed, and wearing a wig will always be exposed by the wind.

30. I can't find it anywhere, and I still lament that I was a small waist. Idle hate, a suit of pork belly

Young people's inspirational quotations

1, relying on the mountain will fall, relying on everyone to run, only yourself is the most reliable. 2. Look at people with time and heart, not eyes.

3. Experience is not an event that happens to a person, but how a person views what happens to him.

A person who has never failed must be a person who has never tried anything.

Admitting your weakness is much more useful than pretending to be strong.

6. A person is like a clock, and its value is determined by his actions.

7. Stress is not that someone works harder than you, but that someone several times as hard as you.

It is because of the pressure that fountains are more beautiful than ordinary water.

9. Don't give up those who can make you laugh from the heart.

10, the world is unfair, but it is very wise. It presses the mute button for you, but opens a window for you, just waiting for you to find it.

1 1, let every day of life be a harvest time.

12, don't give up on yourself and bravely accept the challenge of life. One day we will die of old age, disease and poverty, but we must not let ourselves die of disappointment and passivity!

13, when you have confidence in yourself, you will always be full of strength.

14, success never likes to meet lazy people, but wakes them up.

15. Time can't add color to a person's life, but cherishing time can make life more valuable.

16, upstream, is the end of the brave; Downstream, it is a smooth sailing destination for cowards.

17. According to my observation, most people succeed when others ignore them.

18, there is no soft love in a hard city, and there is no Lin Daiyu in life. It is not because of sadness that it can be varied.

19, aspiring to the four seas, looking forward to the dust in Wan Li.

20. There is no road farther than feet, and there is no mountain higher than people!

2 1, conquer yourself, and one day, you will flap your dreams and soar in the blue sky!

22. Those who look at the ocean and sigh will never reach the other side of success.

23. The boss can only give one position, not a future. No matter how big the stage is, people are cold when they walk.

24. Success is caused by many disappointments.

25. To catch a dragon, you have to go into the sea, and to fight a tiger, you have to go up the mountain.

26. Don't expect Bole to fall from the sky and worship you as Shangqing. Ability to do it.

27, there is no reason to struggle for life, even if running in the wind and rain, but also let yourself smile!

28. Our life is the weather in March. One hour can be violent or calm.

29. People should control habits and never let habits dominate people; A person who can't get rid of his bad habits is worthless.

30. A healthy body is the cornerstone of achieving the goal.

3 1. People can only survive with material things and talk about life with dreams. Do you want to know the difference between life and life? Animals live, while people live.

Let your face face the sun, so that you can't see the shadow.

33. It is not the environment that makes people, but people create the environment.

We should focus on finding ways, not making excuses.

35. Be yourself whether you succeed or fail.

If you want to succeed, you should regard persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry.

Nothing is more powerful than habit.

With money, you can do a lot of things in this world, but youth can't be bought with money.

Ambition and poverty are brothers in distress, and the world often sees them together.

40. Perseverance can conquer any peak.

4 1, in the face of difficulties and hardships, cowards are ground down; A brave man will sharpen his will.

Only those who know how to stop know how to speed up.

43. I can because I believe I can.

44. Don't be fooled by the trampling and ridicule of the world. You never know how good you will be in the future.

45. Every morning, it is not the bell that wakes you up, but the dream.

46. Honesty will always bring you success, but it may be the next stop.

47. Being accused of doing good deeds and persisting is the true nature of a struggler.

48. Time is like a net, where you sow, you reap.

49. To change your destiny, change yourself first.

50. The weak who are devastated can only taste the bitter fruit of failure, and only unyielding struggle can win the dawn of victory.

5 1, there is no director in life, but each of us, like actors, performs seriously in order to conform to the plot.

You must take what you want, or you can't afford it if others give it to you.

If you don't come back in the prime of life, it will be difficult to get up in the morning.

54. Persistent pursuit and constant analysis are the wings of success. Without persistence, it is easy to give up halfway; Without analysis, it is easy to go all the way to black.

55. Life is always a high-spirited song for the wise, and its main theme is always struggle.

56, others look down on you, unfortunately; It is even more unfortunate to look down on yourself.

Don't complain when you encounter difficulties. Since you can't change the past, try to change the future.

58. I feel that what I can and can't do is actually only between thoughts.

No one will accompany you for life, so you should adapt to loneliness. No one will help you all your life, so you have to keep fighting.

He slept at the bottom of the moon and warmed himself in the sun. He always said he would do something, but he died without doing anything.

6 1, thinking about advantages, but being too sensitive is a disadvantage; Doubt is not completely unnecessary, but the less doubt, the better; Sensitivity needs praise, but excessive sensitivity can make people vulnerable.

62. Adolescence is a beautiful and once-in-a-lifetime period, and it is the beginning of all the bright and happy future.

63. You think that in this world, you are just someone; But for someone, you are his world.

64. I have never worked in my life. My humor and great works all come from asking for help from the inexhaustible treasure of the subconscious.

65. Only by cutting off your own retreat can you win a better way out.

66. I thought that what I can't get is the most precious thing, but it turns out that grasping the present is the most important thing.

67. Your love for one day may bring gratitude to others for a lifetime.

68. Fate is like a palm print in your hand. No matter how tortuous it is, it is ultimately in your own hands.

69. Go back to the original point and enjoy the endless road.

70. The tree of patience bears golden fruit.

7 1, there is no rehearsal in life, and it is broadcast live every day.

72. People who make good use of time will always find enough time.

Don't give up your dream because there is no applause. What we need is persistence, not audience.

74. History, only the name is true; Fiction, only the name is fake.

75. A person who never doubts the direction and goal of life will never despair.

76. Optimism is an impassioned and beautiful March that always inspires you to forge ahead courageously in your career.

77. A great cause is rooted in perseverance, continuous efforts, full of energy and no avoidance of hardships.

78. Success never gives up on anyone, only you give up on success.

79. The warmest flame freezes in the deepest silence of the volcano.

80. The freshness of eyes nourishes the freshness of struggle, struggle, wisdom and success.

8 1, the road of life is long and short. Accidental misfortune or frustration can only prove that a certain aspect is insufficient or not done enough at a certain time.

82. Just because I like you, I am humbler than you and despised by you.

It's hard to say what is impossible, because yesterday's dream can become today's hope or tomorrow's reality.

84. Being beautiful is an advantage, and living beautifully is a skill.

85. If life is stripped of ideals, dreams and fantasies, then life is just a pile of empty shelves.

86. How do you describe that indescribable sadness in words?

87. The pen falls and the wind and rain shake, and the poem makes the gods cry.

88. You must be strong. Even if you are injured and shed tears, you should grit your teeth and go on.

89. Youth is a time to cultivate habits, hopes and beliefs.

90. People and things you miss don't have to look back often; The scabbed scar does not need to be touched repeatedly.

9 1. The most expensive cost is time. If you have time, you may.

92. When you were born, you had boarded the train for death. The only meaningful thing is to be kind to the people in your car.

93. Baishi tamed the sea with a strong heart and walked in Qian Shan with youthful heroism.

94. Time is accumulated in minutes, and those who make good use of sporadic time will achieve greater success.

95. To achieve the goal you set, you must be able to endure loneliness and go it alone.

96. Pain is a purgatory, which will make you stronger and more confident. Give me a blow, and I will stand up from the ruins of the spirit and dissect my life with the knife of language.

97. You can walk on a road without lights, as long as your heart is still there.

98. Forgive your past mistakes and move towards greater achievements in the future.

99. A man without ambition is like a ship without a helmsman.

100, above people, respect others; People should respect themselves.

30 funny quotations _ sentence classic funny

1. Just saw a man take a taxi to find his girlfriend at the intersection. Before leaving, the man said don't worry.

I saw the license plate!

The driver was furious: Cao, are you fucking insulting my taste? !

The girl who has a crush on her should be simple when she confesses to her.

Push it directly against the wall and bully me, saying that I will support you in the future.

Say that finish, kiss her, and don't give her a chance to refuse and think.

That's what I did. I have been to the police station several times.

I met my friend in the street today and saw a blood mark on his neck.

I was surprised and asked, what happened? Who did it?

The friend said in distress situation: You are right, you can't buy a fake gold necklace!

Ya's quality is so good that I was robbed by thieves when I rode my bike to the street, damn it,

I dragged it for a long time and almost strangled me.

4. I forced the courier. There is a courier named grandpa today.

This is not for LZ to call and ask if you are: grandpa.

Obviously taking advantage of LZ. I'm not stupid either.

What's your courier's name as soon as the phone calls?

He said grandpa. LZ gave a long well.

By the way ... there's a delivery for you.

5, the company's anniversary, sign up for all kinds of roast whole sheep, jiaozi will be included, a weak brother said,

I can only cook raw rice into cooked rice, and the group is quiet in an instant. .

6. A buddy went to work in the morning and bought a baked sweet potato before breakfast.

There were no seats on the bus, so I stuffed sweet potatoes into my fart pocket.

After catching up with the empty seat, the buddy quickly stepped forward and sat in the seat.

At this time, I only heard a slight muffled sound, and a large piece of brown sweet potato pulp was squeezed out from my ass.

Still steaming slightly.

7. When I was a child, I once went to the field to pick up rice. When I saw a neighbor burying something in the ground, I hid.

When he left, he ran to see what he had buried.

Shit, dig a shit, you uncle, shit and you bury your uncle! ! !

8. I chatted with my friend yesterday. She said that she went to the cinema to see her youth.

Seeing Ruanwan running to pick up and being hit by a car,

The cinema is very quiet, only listening to a couple in front.

The man said to the woman: See? This is what happens when you find your ex-boyfriend!

9. At the end of the exam today, after classmate A came out of the classroom, classmate B asked her: How was the exam?

A classmate said: It's so easy.

Classmate B said after listening, really?

A classmate swears: Shit, I won't take the exam anywhere.

10, Goddess: Call me Queen.

Diaosi: Eight Empresses.

Goddess: What about you, pig? Just two words.

Diaosi: Tortoise!

1 1. In the afternoon, my father scolded me ... Then I got emotional and slapped me in the face. At that time, I wanted to ease the atmosphere.

I mean, dad, are you hungry? Let me get you something to eat.

At that time, it is said that you didn't eat?

Then I was slapped hard.

12, a sister paper in the office just got off the phone and broke up with the male ticket, and immediately shouted:

I want to be a queen, and I want 72 male concubines in three palaces and six hospitals.

A colleague in the corner floated faintly: that's not the queen, that's the actress!

The whole office burst into laughter.

13. Today, my mother took me to take pictures of two sisters. One of them has a first-class figure, but unfortunately she is too tough.

And buck teeth, I can't stand laughing;

The other face is absolutely first-class, goddess level, but it is a fat girl.

I've been thinking about which one to choose since I came back. This is the event of a lifetime.

Never jump to conclusions. I stayed up all night for this.

The next morning, my mother came back from shopping and told me that neither of them had a crush on you.

14, having dinner with an idiot friend, just becoming a father,

Show off in an ostentatious manner with me: My son looks exactly like me.

[hilarious joke] I was just about to answer when my aunt looked at him with sympathetic eyes: son,

It doesn't matter if you are ugly, just be healthy and lively.

15, go to the newly-opened canteen for lunch, wash your hands before meals as usual, turn on the tap, and there is no water.

Aunt in the canteen said: The faucet is ringing here!

Me: Hi-tech!

Then I clap my hands, and there is still no water, ah! Ah! I called twice, but there was still no water.

I saw my aunt twist her head and shout the boiling water valve to the operating room inside!

16, Cao Cao took his son Cao Chong to visit Liu Bei. Cao Cao went to the door and shouted: Cao Cao came to visit with his youngest son!

Liu Bei: Oh dear. Come as soon as you come. What fruit did you bring?

17, I am a male, dating, and invited girls to eat KFC. ***45 yuan, I took out a bill for 100 yuan to the cashier.

The girl said I had small change. Today is my treat!

The cashier took the fifty she handed me, but she took my 100 yuan back and stuffed it into her bag. .

The cashier and I were stunned and at a loss. . .

18, a smart mother will teach her children to call dad first, and then you will feel very happy and loving.

But the experience in winter is more profound. The child wakes up in the middle of the night and calls his father.

Then his mother will kick you and say that the child calls you Ni.

19, a recruit went out for training, and a recruit saw a uniformed shoulder with six stars on the side of the road.

I was shocked by six stars and gave a military salute to show my respect.

It was a slap in the face when the platoon leader ran over. This is a kind of property guarantee. .

20, a friend asked me to borrow money, I said this is easy to say, I am a master of less than 10 yuan.

More than ten dollars must be discussed with the wife.

Didn't he say you didn't have a wife?

I said, so it's not negotiable. friends. . .

2 1, go to eat hot pot with my girlfriend. I pointed to the pot and said, look, this hot pot is just like us!

She nodded: well, I am as hot as a spicy pot, and you are as cold as a clear soup pot!

I shook my head: no, I am the spicy one, and you are the one next to spicy.

This meal is a farewell dinner!

22. The father took his son to buy cold medicine. Because they are acquaintances, the drugstore owner asked, how can you catch a cold?

Father said: That's the boy, kicking the quilt at night.

Unexpectedly, my son retorted that it was not me.

It was you who arched the quilt and made me catch a cold.

23. I always thought I was good-looking and not ugly.

To this day, there is an empty seat next to me on the bus.

A dozen girls passed by, and none of them wanted to sit next to me.

My heart suddenly became clear.

24, the so-called finger belly for marriage is

Pointing at his girlfriend's belly, he said to his parents, Dad, Mom, we are getting married.

25. When I was a child, I posted a dynamic in space today, saying: I dropped my mobile phone, but fortunately it didn't break.

The following comments: Your height saved it.

26. It was cold, so I went to the bathhouse to take a bath and found that the junior high school teacher I hadn't seen for more than ten years had also settled down.

I wanted to pay the bill for him, but he refused, so he threw it away 100 and said to pay the bill.

The beauty shop clerk said, sir, there is not enough money. Your consumption is 15.

His consumption is 3 13, and I am drunk. I turned around and found that the teacher was gone.

28. In junior high school, I helped my buddy deliver letters to the girls in the next class. After the girl received it, she threw it into the trash can without looking.

I quickly explained that I didn't write it, and the girl picked it up.

29. When I was in college. I'm shopping with my girlfriend, and she wants to buy a huge plush bear!

I don't think it's practical or expensive! I didn't buy it.

As a result, a thin man was waiting for her at the school gate with a stuffed bear in his arms the next day!

She proudly showed off to me that if you don't buy it for me, someone will buy it.

You scared me!

From then on, I tried to buy whatever she wanted!

Once you don't buy it, the man will appear at the school gate with something the next day!

I didn't know until I went to my girlfriend's house today!

That man turned out to be his brother!

30. Dare to ask what kind of woman is a real woman. God replied: there is no inflation.