Someone copy some jokes for me to see …

Little boy walked into the street and was hit by a bike. The cyclist is a woman. Xiao was not hurt and didn't want to care, but his daughter was not spared. ? 0? "Aren't you leaving? Didn't you see that I fell?" ? 0? Xiao was depressed and couldn't walk after being hit by someone. ? 0? "Elder sister, you hit me from behind. I didn't pursue you. Why not let me go? " ? 0? 2 "Your mother is your sister. Are you blind? I am injured, you have to take me to the hospital, don't try to run. " ? 0? 2 "Where did you get hurt? How can I not see it? " ? 0? "I hurt my ass." ? 0? 2 "Let me see"? 0? "You smelly rascal." ? 0? 2 "Why am I a rogue? How can you talk? " ? 0? "Look at your virtue, furtive. Not like a good man. " ? 0? I was so angry that I was beaten and scolded, and I simply didn't go. ? 0? Small ah: "I am very cunning." You are a fairy. Sister Fairy, did you hit your face in Jingshan Park when you came down to earth? Today, the cinder on your face has not been wiped clean. " ? 0? Woman: "You are still cursing. Look at you ugly. " ? 0? Little A: "I am ugly, but at least my nose and eyes are in the right position." Unlike you, you don't need the weather bureau to calculate the rainfall on rainy days, just measure the water in your nose, and there is no leakage. Wow, you still have teeth in your eyes. Oh! This turned out to be a mouth, and this position is wrong. " ? 0? 2 female: "Do you look good? You fell asleep when you first saw God create man, which made you such a defective product. " ? 0? Little A: "That's better than you. When God made you, you were in a hurry to pee. He made a lump of mud, fell on the wall and became you. " ? 0? 2 female: "why didn't your mother strangle you when she gave birth to you and let you come out to scare people?" " ? 0? Little: "I really admire your mother." It's a miracle that raising you so big didn't scare her to death. " ? 0? Their voices are getting louder and louder, and more and more people are watching. Coincidentally, Xiao B actually passed by at this time and got together. ? 0? Small ah suddenly raised his voice:? 0? "The baby in your belly is not mine. Why should I marry you? " ? 0? Woman: "Who said I had a baby in my belly? " ? 0? What you just said, why don't you lift the clothes for everyone to see? Is such a big belly fat? ”？ 0? The girl's eyes are red and she can't speak? 0? 2 Xiao pointed to Xiao B standing nearby: "You already have his child, so live with him. Timid as he is, he is a good husband. He can tolerate grinding your teeth, farting and snoring in your sleep, but I can't. You'd better go back with him. " ? 0? The people around you are in an uproar. ? 0? The woman pointed angrily at Xiao's nose and trembled all over. ? 0? Little b, a coward, took a deep breath and walked forward with an honest face, because he didn't walk well and wanted to help his friends. ? 0? Honey, let's go home. I know I am timid, but I really love you. I don't care about your business. Let's go back and live a good life. ? 0? 2 female: "Fuck off! I don't know you! " ? 0? Everyone around has an impulse to hit her if she is not pregnant. Where can I find such a good man? ? 0? 2 Little B: "I know you dislike me, but it will be very pitiful for the eldest, the second and the third in the family to lose their mothers and the children in your belly. Do you have the heart to let him be born without a father? Go home, wait until the baby is born, and the home is ready. Will you go? I won't stop you, I support you to find true happiness. ? 0? The crowd around began to curse. ? 0? The woman staggered a few steps and almost fainted. ? 0? 2 Little B looked concerned: "Mom, what's wrong with you? " ? 0? The woman hid her face and ran so fast that she didn't even want a bike. ? 0? 2 Little B shouts and chases, turns the corner, takes out his mobile phone and calls Little A. Deal, please have dinner tonight. 0? The gangster broke into the house and raped the woman, but he vowed to resist. The husband came back from the ground and saw his wife pinned down by gangsters. He picked up the shovel and roared, and he heard his wife scold him: "Damn, I resisted for a long time, and you photographed me with a shovel. "In the park at night, a couple is doing AI in a chair. A fool ran to the front and giggled. This man is afraid. Fool, what are you laughing at? Get out! The fool walked away with a smile. The next morning, in the same chair, a man was doing push-ups. The fool stepped forward and laughed wildly. The man said angrily, fool, what are you laughing at? The fool replied: Hehe, you are the fool, and all the women below have run away! A local rich man from the countryside went to the city and spent money in a hotel. Suddenly, he felt sick in his stomach. He went to the toilet to relieve himself, but there was a toilet inside. He has never seen this thing before. He doesn't know how to use it. Why are you squatting? Don't! Lying down? No, what can I do? I was so anxious … finally, I took the plastic bag out of the wastebasket and put it on the ground. After a bombing, I stood up and pulled up my pants. Hey! Much more comfortable! You can look down. What should I do with this thing? He was anxious for a long time and found an air outlet on the roof. This guy picked up something on the ground, aimed at it, and then threw it out ... but he didn't throw it right and ran down the wall, which made him more anxious. Later, he thought, if I have money, how can I do what money can't do? Finally, I found a waiter, conveniently took out a thousand dollars and said, please get something on that wall. The waiter took out two thousand dollars and said, brother, I'll give you two thousand dollars. Tell me how you pulled it up. A magical boy can talk when he is born. The child shouted: Grandma ... Grandma stood by, clicked and died. Then the child cried again: Grandpa, his grandfather clicked and died ... At that time, everyone present was scared and thought, son, stop screaming. After a while, the child called again: Dad … His father was there. At this moment, I heard my sister-in-law Li crying next door. Oh, my God, why did you die? A scavenger came to a brothel to go whoring. I didn't know until I got there that it was 200 each time. But he only has one hundred on him, and he doesn't want to go back. After repeated discussion, the young lady promised to give him a hundred dollars, but on condition that he could only walk half way. So the battle began, and the import and export were equally divided. Unfortunately, it was in transit, and the anti-vice car came to check it. The policeman kicked the door open and hit his ass, and the whole person went in. At that time, my buddy was anxious, stood up and pointed to the person who was sweeping pornography and shouted: What the fuck did you give for that hundred dollars? Three brothers are discussing how to live with money in the street. One said: If I have money in the future, I will buy an extended Mercedes-Benz to deliver excrement in Abel Tamata. The other party said: You really have no taste. If I had money, I would buy an armored car. If I don't open it, I'll push it in the street and let them have a good look. The third said, when I have money, I will buy a helicopter and fly in the sky with my son. A beautiful woman went to the toilet and found that she forgot to bring paper after going to the toilet. She said to herself that it was broken and she didn't take the paper. What should I do? Just then, a hand came out from the crack of the door, holding toilet paper. The beauty took it and said thank you happily. After wiping, she woke up and asked, who are you? I heard the door say: Shh … Lei Feng! In a small yard, there lived a bachelor, a widow and their children. At noon, the child cried, and the noisy bachelor was upset. He shouted to the widow, Sister, can you coax the child? Don't make him cry. The widow coaxed the child and began to sing to him. After singing two paragraphs, the bachelor said, Sister, you'd better make him cry! Batman and the Flash are good friends! Batman can be invisible. No one can see him. Lightning is as fast as lightning! One day, Batman bathed in the sea. On the beach, he saw a beautiful woman suddenly having sex, and there was no one around. After invisibility, hold the beauty and do the action from behind! At this time, the flash just passed by and saw your beautiful woman pouting there, so she went over, hit more than 3000 times in five seconds and ran away! The next day, the Flash met Batman in the street, grabbed his lower back and asked, What's the matter, man? Do you have hemorrhoids? Batman said, well, forget it. I had a good time yesterday. I don't know which idiot got more than 3 thousand hits from behind me and ran away! A beggar sleeps on the corner. When he was asleep, he heard someone quarreling upstairs. Probably the husband and wife quarreled. Soon, a shoe flew out of the window, and the beggar picked it up and put it on, thinking, how nice it would be to throw another one down! Soon another shoe was thrown down, and the beggar happily picked it up and put it on, just a pair. Looking at these new shoes, I am very happy. A quilt flew out of the window, and the beggar was happier. He shouted: Good man, pick up the quilt, I was so excited that I almost cried. I don't think I need to catch a cold tonight. Just lying down, a pillow flew out, and the beggar shouted at it with a pillow: Big Brother, please throw that girl down! Reading this, my father almost fainted. At this time, he saw another sentence, "unfinished, see the opposite." He quickly turned the letter over, and there were a few lines in it: "The other one: Dad, what you just read is not true. As a matter of fact, I'm at my neighbor's house next door, and I want you to know that there are many things in life that are much worse than my report card. My grades are in the drawer in the middle of the desk. Please sign your name and call me to make sure I can go home safely. "In class, my classmate threw me a small note. I opened it: qs IHS IN. I haven't understood it for a long time. Then I asked a friend of mine, and he said, "You took it backwards. "In the evening, my daughter called her mother anxiously:" Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly and lovely, don't think the worst, maybe something happened!" " "My brother didn't do well in the exam, so my little aunt called him to scare him. "What do you say?" "Hit, hit hard, yes, hit the left face first, then hit the chin, good, and chest, stomach, and finally told him to spit stomach acid on the lower abdomen! ! "My dad is watching boxing next door, gloating. Dad's biggest hobby is shopping. I asked him, "What is the most interesting thing in the world?" Dad replied, "Shopping!" "What is the most painful thing in the world?" "No money to shop!" "What is the happiest thing in the world?" "If you have money to shop, you just don't buy it!" Child: "Mom, we have finished the exam." Mom: "Look how thin you are. Mom will boil some eggs for you. " Child: "No, the teacher gave it." The hostess said to the maid, "We have guests coming home for dinner tonight. See what specialties you can cook. " Maid: "Yes, madam. Do you want the guests to come again after eating, or don't want to come again? " The daughter told her mother that her boyfriend committed suicide by taking sleeping pills because her mother opposed her falling in love with her boyfriend. Mother was shocked: suicide? The daughter said: fortunately, he took the wrong medicine and didn't die. Mother said: I told you long ago that he was so careless and careless that he could not achieve great things. You see, even this little thing is wrong, how can you entrust it for life? Children in Lu Guoping smashed the old man's door in the middle of the night, and Guo Ping opened it. The child said with a bitter face, "Dad, I can't sleep. Is there a horror book? " Guo Ping thought for a moment and said, "Yes, this book has scared me for more than ten years!" " "The son was ecstatic and asked," What book is so classic? ! "Guo Ping said," your mother and I have a marriage certificate. "Son: Dad, I have good news for you. Dad: What's the good news? Son: Didn't you say that if I passed the exam, I would be rewarded with 100 yuan? Dad: Well, there is such a thing. Son: I'll save you this 100 yuan! Mom: "Son, son! Come on! "It's so easy!" What is this? "son:"' this is too simple'. "Mom:" Why not simply say it? "Son:" Ah, it's really' too simple'! "Mom:" You didn't think I would hit you, did you? " After that, he taught his son a lesson. Then, my mother asked, "What does this word mean?" Son: "What? "Mom:" What do I mean by' what'? " Son: "What!" Later, the mother taught her son another lesson ... After the punishment, the mother asked again, "Well, ask you again, and you will be fine if you tell your mother." Son: "hmm U_U~" Mom: "Do you often hear people say' f u c k'? "Son:" (whoops) ... "A naked girl ran into a taxi and the driver looked at her all over. The girl scolded, "What are you looking at? Have you never seen a naked woman? ! ！” The driver said, "I just want to see where your money comes from!" " "Last night, I ate fast food for dinner. A young woman with a child is sitting at the table next to me. That shota has short black hair, looks quite white, has big eyes, is handsome, is smart, talks well and is cute. I teased him: you are so handsome and so smart. Are there many little girls chasing you in kindergarten? Shota was happy and embarrassed to say: big ~ probably. The young woman next to her couldn't help it, laughing and scolding him: you are a girl! No little girl will chase you! I immediately sprayed rice ~ a few days ago, the house next to my house changed to a new owner. It was only yesterday that I learned that my new neighbor's name was Ma Le, so my brother became poor Ma Le next door. Looks like I should move, too. I remember a brother who used to chase his girlfriend, and every morning he had a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk. Perseverance, finally got what I wanted. One morning, he went to his girlfriend with a heart-shaped biscuit. The girlfriend asked: Where did you buy this biscuit? I went to many supermarkets, but I just couldn't buy this shape. He said proudly, of course I can't find it. I chewed it up … and then his girlfriend threw up … Yesterday I met a woman standing next to me on Line 4. Her skin was particularly white and she was good-looking, but her eye makeup was a little thick. I haven't realized why her face is so white. The subway stopped suddenly and she stuck herself in my arms. I 1.9 meters above, she 1.6 meters. Her face is all over my new black skirt, with a huge white mark. . . . A little girl next to me pointed to my clothes and said to her mother, seal! Big seal! Lao Wang and his wife are both telephone operators. One day, they quarreled and Lao Wang slammed the door and left. In the evening, my wife dialed Lao Wang's mobile phone. Lao Wang said grumpily, "Hey! This is the departure service hotline. Bow your head and admit your mistake, please press1; Resolutely divorce, please press 2; If you want to hit someone, this service desk will transfer you to 1 10. " The wife hung up the phone angrily. Late at night, Lao Wang came home and found the door locked. He had to call his wife's mobile phone, only to hear her say in a fake voice, "Hello! This is the "Who's Afraid of Who" service hotline. If you want to go home, please kneel on the washboard; If you want a divorce, please kneel on the nail board; If you feel uncomfortable, this service desk will transfer you to 120. " A gentleman caught a cold and went to the hospital for intravenous drip. The nurse quickly inserted the needle into Mr. Wang's body and hung physiological saline. /kloc-more than 0/hour passed, and the water in the salt bottle was finished. When the nurse came, she immediately changed another bottle. The gentleman was puzzled and asked the nurse, "Miss, isn't there only one bottle on the prescription list?" The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap behind the salt water and said, Sir, you are so lucky. This bottle won the lottery-another bottle ~!