Happiness should be shared with the right people. Sharing it with the wrong people is called showing off!

Recently, Wan'er chatted with me and said that she was a little upset. Faced with the naughty, naughty and unwillingness of students in the class, she was always unable to reverse it. Wan'er is a teacher in the compulsory education stage. I warned her not to be too anxious. Things will always happen when she is powerless. Take her time. As long as she works hard, there will always be a way. Isn't it that I am exhausted?

Later, we talked about another roommate who worked in a tutoring institution. They were relatively close and saw each other often. Wan'er told me that this roommate wanted to resign because the work pressure was very high. Parents who sent their children to tutoring institutions always demanded immediate improvement in their grades, and the school also cared about students' scores. Her personality is not suitable for working under heavy pressure, so she cannot stand such a working environment.

That night, we chatted in the roommate group again and asked her how she was doing recently, hoping to distract her from her unhappiness and stop her from being so depressed. We talked about everything from our majors to our current employment, and from students to parents. I could tell that she was a little absent-minded, and I was always the one taking the initiative to find the topic. Later, we talked about my current situation, and I told her that I had been admitted to two key middle schools, but was still considering it and had not made a final decision. She replied, "It's amazing that she got admitted to a key middle school, as if she is amazing." Then she withdrew the message. When I saw this message, I looked confused and fell into deep thought.

Shouldn’t I share my happiness with my friends? I held the phone and was stunned for a long time, at a loss. Why did she withdraw this news? Is it because it wasn't sent to me? I seem to understand, maybe this should be the message she wanted to send to her boyfriend. I was kindly trying to comfort her, but maybe in her opinion, I was showing off. At this moment, I truly understood that "Happiness should be shared with the right person, because sharing with the wrong person is called showing off."

We have always shared each other's happiness and sadness without reservation. . She would tell me what surprises and romances her boyfriend had created for her, and where she went to see the sea during the holidays... I would also tell her what exams I passed and what awards I won in competitions... In memory, we will Be sincerely happy for each other's progress, and sincerely wish each other the best.

It seems that this time, something is different, and my enthusiasm has been poured cold water on it. I even began to wonder, am I really too showy? Does she think so of all the things I have shared with them for so long? After all, I am the only one among the six who is still continuing his student career, so we are in a different life circle. I didn't doubt the friendship between us, but I began to reflect that maybe my emotional intelligence was too low and I was not good at sociability.

Just now, I canceled this group that I had been chatting with all the time, because the changes in the content of the chat and the awkward atmosphere of the chat made me feel a little unfamiliar. Now that I have started working, there are more and more groups, and there are more and more groups where people talk about serious things. The liveliness before was only seen in roommate groups and best friend groups, but now it has calmed down.

When I was in school, except for the class time we were together, this group was the busiest and the chat group I was least willing to ignore. At that time, I was afraid that I would miss any news in the group. I created the group. It was when WeChat was booming, and I always felt that sending group text messages was a bit troublesome, so I created this group to share news. When there are some new trends in the class, or there are group activities in the dormitory that require voting and discussion, we will inform or discuss them in the group. More often than not, this group is a good way for us to enhance our relationship with each other.

"Which of you is in the cafeteria, please bring me food"

"None of you has an umbrella, it's raining outside"

" Is there anyone in the dormitory? Come and give me an umbrella. Don't forget to collect your clothes."

"My boyfriend is here. He has reserved a seat for you to come over for dinner."

"I went to play with my friends and brought you a barbecue. Come back early to eat.

”

“Does anyone have the review materials for professional courses for the exam the day after tomorrow? Can you please make a copy for me?”

…

No matter what message you send, it must be We always responded and rushed to speak. Most of the time after graduation, we were laughing and joking, chatting about everything, keeping the chat atmosphere in the group active. We complain about the hard work and tiredness of family life, and of course we also gossip about each other’s work, life and emotional progress, as if this is a place where we can completely let go of our arms and be our truest selves.

I seriously reflected on it for several days. Maybe I took the initiative to tell them these things that they were not interested in. I didn't accurately position myself, and I didn't think about whether it was appropriate to say these things.

Yes, when others are not going well at work, I just talk about my current life without considering the other person's feelings. Perhaps, this is the most inappropriate thing.

I still firmly believe that true friendship can withstand the test of time. I also understand better what "happiness must be shared with the right person. Sharing it with the wrong person is just showing off"

---Written in 2017

When I read this article again three years later, I still feel the distance that is getting further away.

When I was in college, In an unknown second-tier college, 80-year-old girls were busy shopping, eating, and gossiping. At that time, I didn't want to live that kind of life. It wasn't that I had a very clear goal. Like most people, I didn't care about my future. It's just that the education I received since childhood told me that I shouldn't waste my time like this. My counselor also told us that there are many problems in places where there are many girls. Don't stay in the dormitory when you have nothing to do. Go to the library more. I still feel very benefited from my words.

I spent the first three years of my college life in the library. In the end, I was busy preparing for the postgraduate exams, and I still got along with them in the study room for more than a year. It's considered friendly. All 6 of us got scholarships and won the title of four-star civilized dormitory many times.

After graduation, we went our separate ways. This is the fifth year since we graduated. Four of us are now mothers. There is also a girlfriend who is not married. It is difficult to reunite. We can only meet each other at their respective weddings. They are busy taking care of the children, and the conversation has been relatively silent. They can only discuss when to arrive at the wedding venue. There will be news. The adults in the world are busy with their own families and pursuing their own happiness!