I want n jokes! thank you

1. A man keeps a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

When Emily went to the zoo, she found that when feeding a monkey Scott, he would put the peanuts thrown by Emily in his ass first, and then take them out. Emily asked the manager curiously why the monkey did it. The manager replied, "Because someone threw him a big peach last year, Scott suffered a lot because he couldn't excrete the seeds of the big peach, so now he must measure the food before eating."

3. Ram: "Wife, what to eat today?"

Ewe: "Today we eat wolf meat!" " "

Ram (⊙o⊙) "Wow, that's great! Usually wolves eat us, today we eat wolves! "

After the dish was served, the ram took a bite and said, "Why is the meat so small and has a strange smell?"

Ewe: "dung beetle meat, this is the taste!" " "

A guy was sitting at home when he heard a knock at the door.

He opened the door and saw a snail standing at the door.

He picked up the snail and flew away with a swish.

One day three years later, someone knocked at the door.

He opened the door and saw the snail again.

The snail said, "What happened to you just now?"

6. Cobra dated an elephant, greeted him and said, "Come on, come on, bring such a big pig. Welcome. "

6. After seeing the Three Kingdoms, the tiger went to catch wild boar. He saw that there were no pigs in the pigsty, so he touched his beard and said, Empty city plan! I turned around and saw a dead pig on the animal trap. I was shocked: danger! I was overjoyed to see you again suddenly: yo-ho, and honey trap? !

7. Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and the children will live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child!

8. The lion and the bear shit by the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion shit is better than bear shit!

9. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

10. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

1 1. The giraffe married a monkey, and a year later the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live this kind of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

12. The centipede was bitten by a snake and had to be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs ~! ! The doctor comforted him, brother, relax, and you will be an earthworm in the future.

13. A dairy farm specializes in raising cows. In order to maintain the number of cows in the pasture, a male cow is kept in the herd. But after a long time, the bull got old and began to feel a little too much, so the owner of the ranch bought a new bull to maintain the number of cattle. As for the old cow, because there has been no credit or hard work in recent years, the owner continues to let it be free in the herd. One day, the owner went to inspect the pasture and saw the old cow lying on the grass panting. The rancher approached and said, you are old, so you should restrain yourself and don't do so much. Niu Yi, the husband, really said, Can't you tell the newcomers that I'm not a cow?

14. Three turtles came to a restaurant and asked for three cakes. As soon as things were served, they found that there was no money.

The tortoise said: I am the oldest, of course, I don't have to go back to withdraw money.

The tortoise said: it is most suitable to send a small tortoise.

The little turtle said, I can go back and get the money, but after I leave, none of you can touch my cake! The tortoise and the tortoise promised, and the little tortoise left.

Because their bellies were empty, the tortoise quickly ate up his cake. However, the little turtle has been missing for a long time. On the third day, the tortoise was so hungry that they all said, let's eat the tortoise's share.

Just as they were about to start eating, the little turtle's voice came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to get the money!" " "

15. A girl walked into the management department of a big company and asked, "Do you want a female secretary?"

"Miss, we would like to hire you, but there is no job to do in the current economic crisis."

"I don't care if I have a job, as long as I have a salary!"

16. The dog said sadly, "Archaeologists have found many bones in my master's garden!"

The cat said, "This is a new discovery! Why are you so sad? "

The dog shouted, "That's my private money ..."

17. Luo Xiao: Dad, why do we have humpbacks?

Father Camel: Because there is no water in the desert, only the hump can store water!

Luo Xiao: Dad, why do we have long hair?

Father camel: Because there is a big sandstorm in the desert, we have to rely on it to stop the sandstorm before we can see it!

Luo Xiao: Dad, why do we have thick hooves?

Father Camel: Because the desert is full of sand, we can stand firm!

Luo Xiao: Dad, one last question, what are we doing in the zoo?

18. The mouse was chased by the cat. At the most critical moment, the mouse suddenly braked and shouted "woof, woof, woof" several times, which actually scared the cat away. The mouse wiped his head and said happily, "It seems that sometimes it is important to master a foreign language."

19. A mouse was chased by a cat and strayed into a flower shop. The mouse found that there was no way out, so he picked up a bunch of roses as a weapon and made a tenacious resistance. The cat froze for a moment, immediately lowered its head and said shyly, "You damn fool, it's so sudden ..."

20. When cooking, a crab jumps out of the pot and says to you, "I'm hot!" "Answer: If you want to be red, you can bear it. ......