Humorous jokes about travel

Humorous jokes are laughter inspired by the humor generated by other people's behaviors and words, which can achieve some aesthetic effects such as banter and pleasure, communication and enjoyment. Share a humorous joke about travel, let's have a look!

1. A tourist came to Beijing. After playing for three days, I plan to go to Jilin, but I don't know the way. So he asked a policeman, "Comrade, how can I get to Changchun?" The policeman thought for a moment and said, "Take Metro Line 1 to Changchun Street."

There are so many people on the bus. Dude, it's the stop. I want to get off. He tried his best to squeeze out. Many people don't sew, but there are people crowded below. At this time, there was a fire in his heart. He squeezed harder and harder, and the door closed and opened. At this time, he was helpless and depressed. The car didn't come down, it broke down. Finally, he drove the car to the terminal and the buddy got off. . .

3, the bus smells of sweat and perfume, get off and step on the elder sister's leg, walk carefully in the crowded driveway, don't make people angry again, seize the opportunity to get off and step on the leg, don't step on other people's feet!

It snowed heavily that year, and suddenly, the bridge collapsed, so I took the 5 o'clock bus. 1 hour later, I resolutely got off the bus to go to school, ran in the snow and shuttled in the car. When I got to school, I became a snowman and was laughing when I opened the door. I asked you why you were late again.

Go out to play with a full wallet on weekends, and people search for him thousands of times. The thief is at the corner of the bus stop, watching me wait for the bus, following me, aiming at the opportunity and waiting for an opportunity to start. I didn't expect to be caught red-handed, so I called my eldest brother to beg my forgiveness, despise him and send him a message: "I have never confiscated a sneaky puppy."

My brother-in-law drove me to school, but I couldn't get rid of the traffic jam. Brother-in-law asked me to get some sleep first. As a result, the traffic police patted us and said, "I was actually sleeping in the middle of the road." I didn't expect my brother-in-law to take a nap. Embarrassed, we smiled with the traffic police and ran to school.

7. In high school, I got up early at 7 o'clock every day to catch the bus. My clothes were untidy and I didn't buy breakfast. In summer, the hot air in the car goes out. In winter, I stamp my feet with cold. In the morning, the bus is extremely fast. The master came to show the technology and actually played drift, which scared me to fly.

8. In a crowded bus in summer, a young man is next to an exposed girl, and the girl stares at the young man from time to time. Suddenly, a force surged in, and the young man was about to jump on the girl, anxiously shouting: Stop squeezing, and then squeeze me into a hooligan!

9. An old lady quarreled with a small group of people in the car. The old lady said, "How could you? I can be your grandmother, and you still flirt with me? " The young man said, "Who molested you? You always do. Who will be interested in you? " The old lady said, "If you are not interested, why are you staring at my chest?" The young man said, "I didn't look at you." I'm looking at the button on the breast of the beautiful woman next to you. I am thinking about how to remind beautiful women. "

10. One day, a China man stepped on a foreigner's foot. The foreigner is very unhappy: "You put your foot on top of me (it hurts me)." China people listen: "You stepped on my foot (you hurt me)."

1 1, take a taxi with a buddy. When getting off the bus, the driver said 17 yuan. This guy is busy rummaging through his bag for money. I took out a ticket for 20 yuan and handed it to the driver. I said to the elder brother, keep the change! Who knows that my buddy hasn't answered yet, just listen to the driver and say, thank you!

12, the young woman on the bus hid the money on her chest to prevent theft, got off the bus or went to report the case, and the money was stolen on her chest. The police uncle also wondered, is it easy to get it in sensitive areas? The young woman blushed slightly and thought he was a character. I didn't expect money to be the goal!

13. Every time I go home on holiday, I will encounter a car accident. Once on the highway, a truck pulling pigs collided with a car. Turns out there's nothing wrong with people. On the road, pig carcasses piled up into hills, and two pigs were grazing beside them.

14, take the subway to be strong, even shouting and screaming, the security guard can't help shaking his head. This battle is like a war. Someone shouted "step on my foot", someone shouted "my bag", someone grabbed the seat for a moment, and someone shouted "I'm going to be late". The sea of people is really spectacular, and life on the subway is so difficult. . .

15, looking down from the tall building, there are many cars and pedestrians, lamenting safety. Small cars are patched up, big cars account for half of the country, and some even run red lights, which makes traffic safety worrying. . .

16. There are no roads in the world, but there are more cars. There were no cars in the world, but there were more people sitting there. There will be no traffic jams in the world, but there will be traffic jams when there are more people and cars. The world is beautiful, and more people who care about the environment will become beautiful.

17, the old bus is fun and airtight on all sides. Once I was sitting on a bus, it suddenly rained heavily. Passengers in the car are busy closing the windows and raising their hands to close the skylight. I thought it was nothing, but the roof was still leaking and I could hardly keep my eyes open. Suddenly someone was sitting in the car with an umbrella to keep out the rain. This scene is very interesting for everyone, especially riding in the rain. . .

18, office workers are really hard, and it's really annoying to squeeze the bus. In order to earn two dollars, the bus saves money, and the bus runs all over the city, wasting time. I had no choice but to say nothing and squeeze up desperately.

19, the bus stop was crowded with people. It is really difficult to buy a one-yuan bus. The air conditioner won't turn on. He took two tablets. I'm a darling. The yellow seats are all children, and the rest are old people and old women. This is not a bus ride. It's crowded here, and people are looking forward to going home soon.

20. Once I went out to take a bus, two women in front were talking; Just bought a recharge card, take out your mobile phone and enter your password; A young man next to the beautiful woman quickly remembered this password; The action is flexible and successful, and the two beautiful women are silly; Always prompt the card to be invalid, thinking that you have been cheated; Dear friends, be vigilant and be careful when operating in the car.

2 1, finally got on the bus and left. Suddenly, a sudden stop and a short man jumped forward perfectly. When he stood up, the tall man next to him smiled proudly and said, "This is the advantage of being tall." When I got off at the station, the short man got off easily, but the tall man ran into the car door. The short man smiled: "This is the advantage of the short man."

22. The bus card will not be used when the old lady enters the city for the first time; One day, I went to the mall by bus and gave my card to the driver when I got on the bus. It was very polite. The driver asked the old lady to swipe her card first, and the old lady looked at the credit card machine and froze; How to brush without a brush? The driver heard stars.

23. Two men kept staring at a well-dressed woman: "I look like a chicken." At this time, the woman took out two dogs from her bag: "What eyes? These are obviously two dogs. "

24. One day, on the bus, a father summed up the legendary swordsman's character for his son: Ling Huchong's martial arts had reached the point of making the finishing touch. Later, his son asked him, Dad, why can you practice the martial arts painted by immortals with pot boxing?

My friend is so stupid that he has to catch the bus in a hurry. There were too many people in the car, so he had to stand on the chair and sit in the chair with a beautiful woman. He was surprised to see him. His friend is beautiful in his heart and smiles back. The beauty's eyes flashed at him, but her friend didn't understand. She was surprised to see her. The beauty frowned and left the door open. Her friend was shocked to hear these words, and she quickly looked down at him. Her trousers have forgotten the zipper, and her underwear is flashing red.

26. I went out by car and suddenly broke down on the way. The driver told everyone that I could wait for the next bus to change. When getting off the bus, an old lady in the countryside was walking and chanting: It's too hot for cars. Look, she doesn't even work. Not as good as my livestock.

27. One day, a young woman was holding her son in one hand and a dog in the other. On the way, suddenly, her son said, mom, I peed. Mom is furious: didn't I tell you to take off your pants when you pee? The son said in fear, mom, the puppy peed.

28. Our travel agency recently launched a bus tour. Due to the long journey time, passengers are not advised to sleep and drink water before boarding at night. They can sleep in a sitting position and standing position after getting on the bus. In order to alleviate the boredom of some passengers who can't see the scenery outside the window, the car launched an activity of guessing the speed to win the grand prize. I hope that passengers and friends will actively participate.

29. "There is no way to move mountains in Gong Yu, and it is difficult to move mountains today. Driving to work will cause traffic jams. It's too far to go to work by bike. It is quite convenient to take the 1 1 road. After a while, Gong Yu will be reincarnated soon. Now you don't have to move mountains, move people to Taihang Mountain and widen the road! "

On the way to work this morning, I saw a woman wearing lipstick in the rearview mirror while driving, and she was at least 80 kilometers per hour. I think this woman must be crazy. Unexpectedly, she suddenly cut into my driveway, and I was shocked. As a result, the electric razor fell into the cup and the coffee spilled all over the floor. (

3 1, I went out early today, thinking that there were few people by car, but I found that the crowd was like a tide, the speed was like a turtle jogging, and I was so anxious to look at my watch on an empty stomach that I was going to be late again. Going to work is like suffering. When did happiness come?

32. One day, I went to work by bus, and suddenly I saw a private car driving very slowly in front of me. A sign was put in the back seat, which clearly said "novice". The bus follows the next paragraph, which makes the driver feel very difficult to drive and even more ridiculous. There is a saying behind the private car: older women must marry after rear-end collision.

I usually go out by car. Once I took my daughter to travel by train and bought her some delicious food on the way. The daughter danced and said, "Oh, there is food on the train." This made all the passengers in the car laugh.

34, the traffic flow is endless, the flow is endless, the car suffers from people, and the adversity is bitter. If the traffic is too large, choose the number to travel and be overcrowded, it is better to divert; It's too difficult to bridge in water, and it's too difficult to make holes in road. It's better just to visit. If it's profitable, why not take the tunnel first?

35. Passerby A: "I heard that the price of gasoline has increased recently, and the traffic pressure has increased." Passerby B: "Yes, I heard that starting from August 1, the South China Sea will be restricted to single and double numbers, with single and double numbers for one day, double eyelids for two days, and single and double numbers for night; For those who wear sunglasses, it will be regarded as deliberately blocking the number plate; For blind passengers, they are treated without a license; For those who cut double eyelids, they should be treated according to the deck. "

36. A couple went home by bus, and the bus was caught in a traffic jam. My wife asked, won't you do something for me? Go talk to the driver and tell him to hurry up. I'm late, and my husband can't help it. He went over to talk to the driver. The driver is very depressed. You are mentally retarded. If you can hurry, your wife will be my wife.

37. I went to eat by car one day, and the car was already crowded; A beautiful woman getting on the bus is really eye-catching and novel; The seat next to the station is empty, call aunt to come and get it; Before the aunt squeezed in, the beauty of grabbing a seat became annoying; Sitting at the table is still depressed, just now "beauty" sat next to him; I'm sick to death, and friends' parties are even more unpleasant.

38. A beautiful woman gets on the bus with her ass facing the card reader; The noise came into the car and the old lady behind her became suspicious. Ass also cocked up, pursed three times without making a sound, regardless of going in; When the driver saw it, he was anxious: Auntie, please come and coin in; When the old lady got angry, the beautiful woman took out her card to catch her breath.

39. When I went back to school by bus, I met a taxi and had to squeeze in front of the bus. The bus driver couldn't stand it anymore and said, damn taxi? The taxi driver was very unhappy, backed up, walked behind the bus and added, Damn bus.

40. I often recall the past by car. I don't know the way home on rainy days. I ran wildly on my way home and got into many cars by mistake. How did I get there? How did I get there? I was splashed with mud! The owner looked back and marveled: why is the clay sculpture so realistic and drove away!

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