"I am the girl who wants to save her own dowry money"

“I won’t give you money anymore. You have to pay me back whatever I give you. You save the dowry money yourself and I won’t give it to you. Your brother still has to study and grow up. It will cost a lot of money.”

It was raining heavily that day, and my mother’s words were mixed with the sound of rain. My eyes were looking at the rain, and my ears were listening to the sound of rain. For a moment, I didn’t know what kind of sound it was. Really getting into my heart.

From the age of sixteen, I never took money from home again.

Whenever I quarrel with my mother, she will tell me in the tone and manner that I hate the most: You have to pay me back every penny of your tuition fees that you have taken from me over the years.

These words always make me wonder, am I my biological child?

I heard from my grandma that when she was pregnant with me, she had an argument with my father and always wanted to abort me. At my father's insistence, I stayed, but she always hated me.

I often wonder whether my appearance ruined her choice, whether my appearance made her so unhappy, whether my appearance made her hate me so much, did I Shouldn't be there.

In the first year of junior high school, I got my period and became a big girl. I called her nervously and anxiously: Mom, I’m on my period. But who would have thought that she on the other end of the phone said impatiently: Don’t you know how to do it yourself? Am I free?

But Mingming’s classmate said that her mother would teach her step by step.

When I was in the second year of junior high school, I called and said: Mom, I want lip balm. She still said impatiently: What's wrong with you at such a young age?

The most impressive time was when I came home from school without cooking. So she came home and looked at me with a particularly disgusted look, asking why she gave birth to such a thing.

Gradually, I am afraid of her. I am afraid that I will make her unhappy, and I am afraid that she will hate me more and more.

I was so scared that I couldn’t even say "Mom".

If it were like this from the beginning, I would rather not appear in this world.