The funniest joke in history is not asking for more but seeking perfection! !

A snack bar selling jiaozi closed down.

So she went to ask the teacher what to do.

The Lord said, you have to find a fresh corpse and wrap its meat into jiaozi.

Then sell it so that business will be good, but tell their family not to eat this kind of jiaozi, or something will happen.

The boss tried it and the effect was really good.

So she went looking for the body again.

The next day, her son will bring a lunch.

But he couldn't find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look for it.

Found a lunch box. He thought it was his and took it away.

Unexpectedly, jiaozi was left by his father in the box.

He held it up at noon to watch the next jump.

The cross in the morning is 10. Why did it suddenly become five?

He tried to put the lid on again, then opened it, and it became two again!

You know why?

Because jiaozi stuck to the lid.

The most disgusting joke is recommended after dinner.

First, when I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer told me that it has been 60 years of hard work.

I never spit out my booger without food.

Second, there is a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich man sent them away, and only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out.

The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

Third, a man saw a store having a big sale and went in. What can I do for you? "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog."

"Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man and the salesman were grinding for a long time, but the salesman still refused to sell them to him. There is no way. The man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It's still the same salesman. The man has been dawdling with her for a long time, but he still wants to go home and get the cat. ""Just put your hand in. The salesman put his hand in: "What is this?" Very sticky. "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper. "

A man took his friend to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. I am old, cough. ...

Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him it was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. This gentleman has eaten almost all his dishes, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought the gentleman was wasting delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to that one. The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half of it. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole. After a while of nausea, the man vomited all the eaten vermicelli back into the casserole. When he was there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "Very sympathetic eyes." I'm like this ... "

On this day, the hotel owner is making a tour in the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" "The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why does the beggar want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, but it was not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too? The beggar said, "someone threw up, but I came late." The first two beggars ate everything I could, and now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw? "

Seven, boss, the second child is flying, the second child is airsick and has been vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half a bag and throw up."

If you haven't spit it out, I have to admit that you are a master, so I will try my best.

Eight. Killing skills-

One day, Big Brother and Second Brother went to the theatre again. They saw an argument about the development of the plot in the middle, so they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, eldest brother lost, so he took a sip with a frown. They went on to bet on the following story. This time, the second brother lost. I saw my second brother pick up a spittoon and hit it hard. "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! "

Today, I went to school to get my diploma. When I was happy, I grabbed a passing buddy and asked, "Hey, what's the name of this school again?" The buddy glared at me and said bitterly, "How should I know? I am only a freshman! " "

A female friend's birthday, the four of us discussed sending her "Happy Birthday" at 0: 00, each sending a word, and I got the second one. As a result, they didn't send it

In a mental hospital, two people are talking: "What about my novel?" "Yes, there are too many people." Then the nurse shouted to them, "Hey, you two put the phone book back quickly."

A farmer's daughter was too ugly to marry, so the farmer had to let her go to the corn field to be a scarecrow. As a result, when she got there, she not only scared away the crows, but even scared three crows to send back the corn they had stolen before.

A kebab was transferred to the fire chemical industry, and was fired in a few days, because he always asked the families of the deceased:

How do you want it done?

A fat girl asked the manager of the racecourse: Strange, when did a camel come to your racecourse, and it was bimodal?

Librarian: To tell the truth, this is not a camel, but the horse you rode last time.

I'm too short. Oh? How short is it? A: Originally, I starred in Wu Dalang in Water Margin. B: Then.

So short? A: But the director said, "You are not tall enough."

Dude, stop touching it! You touched the top and the bottom, and your hair fell out. Such tender skin, you have touched all the water! How do you want me to sell it later? These peaches are all fresh, don't buy them!

"I saw a ghost today, which scared me to death."

"Really, what does it look like?"

"Well ... looks like a ghost ..."

A novice went to collect usury.

He took out the iou and smiled and said, It's written clearly in black and white. You owe me 1 10,000! Do you want to default? !

People say they really don't have that much money.

He threatened: Hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay by tomorrow, your house will be just like it.

-He took out his lighter and burned the loan. ...

Tang Priest: This time we need to find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures!

Wukong: Flying is faster than riding!

Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster!

Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once.

As soon as the customer came out from the drugstore to buy medicine, the drugstore boy hurried over.

Dude: Sorry, what you want is tonic water. I gave you poison by mistake.

Customer: Look at you, something terrible almost happened.

Dude: Yes, the boss will definitely scold me when he finds out. Poison is twice as expensive as tonic.

"Boss, how much is this jacket?"

" 1000"

"Sleeping trough, so expensive, how about this one next to it?"

"That new model has two sleeping slots."

My cousin was forgetful when he was a child. Once his father was pestered by him and slapped him.

I just cried.

Then I decided to go to my mother and tell my father.

So he walked around our big house and then went back to his residence to see his father.

At this time, he rushed to hug his father and cried, "Dad, mom hit me."

Freshman has an advanced math class, which is an open class, so we are a big classroom. Once we ran out of chalk in our classroom, we asked a classmate to go next door to get some, so the boy in the back row went out, and a few seconds later he appeared at the front door of our classroom. "Teacher, give me some chalk. . . "Petrochemical teacher: Oh, there is no chalk in other classrooms, is there? Then you go back, then he goes out from the front and comes in from the back door: Teacher, there is no other classroom. . .

Typing mistakes in composition

On new year's day, my family went to the history museum to visit the "ice toilet" …

Teacher's comment: Is there such a thing? I'm going too! (Terracotta Warriors)

After getting up in the morning, we gathered at school and took a ride to Kenting for a graduation trip.

Teacher's comment: I don't know which funeral home is your home? Teachers never know ... (Yi Rong)

My left eyelid kept jumping last night. I thought it was a bra. Sure enough, my wallet was taken away today.

Teacher's comment: Are you so old, son? (ominous)

The newspaper said that oysters contaminated with heavy metals can "cure" cancer …

Teacher's comment: a word difference, raising people to turn over! Should I raise oysters quickly? This will make a lot of money ...

Last night, my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner. We ordered two hamburgers and "chicken nuggets and shit" …

Teacher's comment: Is it delicious? Chicken manure? (A piece of chicken)

When I went shopping on Sunday, I accidentally got caught in my anus in a hurry. What bad luck.

Teacher's comment: The teacher is curious-whose anus is so big ...? (steel door)

After visiting the flower market, I bought a "bargain" and prepared to take it home for the New Year.

Teacher's comment: if you read it correctly, gladiolus will cry …

My history teacher has long hair and shawl, short stature, bad temper and a little "chest" …

Teacher's comment: The history teacher asked me to tell you, "Wait for the history class, so tighten your skin." . "(intense)

I consider myself a good student, studying and "worrying" …

Teacher's comment: You have to worry-failure. (excellent)

On the "bumpy road" of life, we should firm our direction …

Teacher's comment: This road can be the ninth wonder after eight wonders of the world relayed the Terracotta Warriors.

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where are the rivers in China?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky?

That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou.

The teacher is short of breath: get out!

Student: Just leave.

The teacher said helplessly, are you sick?

Student: You have everything I have!

Teacher: Try again. .....

Student: shout when you see an uneven road!

Teacher: Do you believe I hit you?

Student: Do it when you should. ...

The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school!

Student: Rush into Kyushu.

My brother saw my sister holding water from a puddle in her hands and stuffing it into her mouth. Brother shouted, "Stop drinking! The water here is not drinkable. Don't you know there are many bacteria in the water? " Sister: "It's okay. A car just passed by and killed the bacteria. "

Owe k two sentences

Listen! I want to chase you! I thought you were! I have been looking for you! I will seize this opportunity! I must catch up with you! Dead flies!

2. Honey, where are you? I went to the cabin where you slept, but I couldn't find you in your favorite grass and pond ... God, earth, why do you think such a big cow was lost?