Who has a simpler joke?

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1. A reporter interviewed the director of a mental hospital and asked, "What method do you use to determine whether the patient has fully recovered?" The dean said, "We gave him a test. We fill a bathtub with water, put a spoon and a big bowl next to it, and let them drain the water out of the jar. " The reporter said disapprovingly, "Of course, we use a big bowl!" The dean looked at him and said slowly, "Normal people pull the plug ..."

2、

The residents on the first floor got a big dog from nowhere. When he first came, he was very vigilant and barked at the slightest movement. My home is on the sixth floor. Although I climb up and down every day, I still have to be called ten times. I am timid. As soon as the dog barked, I ran as fast as I could for fear that it would suddenly rush out.

Pick up my little nephew who is attending an English training class on Sunday and go home for dinner. Just entering the first floor, the big dog barked as usual, which gave me the willies. The little nephew was not afraid at all, but shouted, "spit." Strangely, after a few spits, the big dog actually stopped barking and made a poor "hum" sound.

When I got home, I asked my nephew how to curb such a fierce dog. The little nephew proudly said, "When the dog barks at you, it is actually saying one, and you answer twice. At this time, the dog stopped barking because he was ashamed that he could not repay the three of you. "

3、

One day, two men and women in love were on the road. The boy is with a girl. The girl is very beautiful, wearing a very elegant white dress. Boys' eyes are not very good-myopia.

The boy was riding a bicycle with the girl on the road, and they were together sweetly.

At this time, passing a crossroads, no one noticed the existence of the police, and the boy rode to the police. The policeman looked at it and shouted, "You! Come down, come down. "

The boy jumped out of the car at once, and the girl was calm. Seeing this situation, her mind turned to her heart. He said to the policeman, "Have you seen me? ! ! "

The policeman was stunned.

The girl winked at her boyfriend when the police were not looking, and the boy understood at once.

The policeman asked the boy again, "Is she your girlfriend?"

The boy said, "Who are you talking about?"

The girl said, "Have you seen me?"

The policeman was horrified and said to the boy, "Let's go, hurry up!" "

4、

A frog called the priest and asked about his fate.

The priest said, "Next year, a young girl will come to meet you."

The frog jumped up happily: "Oh, really? Was it at the prince's wedding? "

The priest said, no, in her biology class next year.

5、

Teacher, just follow the old woman.

First, the ordinary version:

The editor signed a contract with a martial arts author to write a miniature martial arts novel, which not only broke the secular ethics, but also included years of grievances between Jianghu sects. At the same time, the plot is more suspenseful and the blood is ready to go.

The next day, the project was completed, and there were only ten words in the full text: "Teacher, just follow the old woman."

Second, the evolution version:

This novel requires:

1, involving three schools at the same time.

2. It should include the feud between Jianghu sects for many years and break the secular ethics.

3. At the same time, there should be suspense in the plot, and the blood shed will be vividly portrayed. People are full of expectations for the sequel to the novel, leaving more than N suspense at the same time.

4. The shorter the better.

The next day, someone came to contribute, and the full text was only ten words:

"Bald donkey, how dare you rob the teacher by being original!"

Editor's reply: "Blood Staying" has grievances and enmity, short and pithy, full of suspense, but chivalry is more than tenderness. Although they are children of Jianghu, they are tender.

On the third day, the revised draft:

"Teacher, simply give up the bald donkey and be original!"

The editor also said: Jianghu children are full of tenderness and sentimental. But still adhere to secular ethics.

The fourth day, the third draft:

"Teacher, how dare you rob the bald donkey of being original!"

The editor thinks twice, saying: Breaking the secular ethics, the blood is also ready, which is exciting and suspenseful, but there is always something missing. ...

Day 5, final draft:

Monk: "Teacher, you are a monk!" " ! "

Taoist priest: "Bald donkey, how dare you rob the teacher with being original!" "

Teacher: "Monks and Taoists, please join us. I'm in a hurry. "

Editor excited ing, English: a perfect masterpiece that has never been seen before. It is difficult to sort out sectarian grievances for many years, and blood shed is ready to go; And chivalrous tenderness and entanglement,

It not only broke the secular ethics, but also showed the heroism of the children in the rivers and lakes. Great system! !

Third, the power enhanced version:

Deep in the palace bedroom, three figures, two men and one woman, jumped up and down, and then jumped into a clearing at the same time. The man glared at the dust in his hand and scolded, "Bald donkey! Don't you dare How dare you rob a teacher by being original! " The woman quickly cried, "Brother! You have been in the palace for many years, and we can't be husband and wife at all. Why do you have to push hard! " As he spoke, he hugged the man around him tightly: "I only love him! I only have him in my heart! " The man gently broke the woman's hand, stepped forward and whispered, "Daughter! Step back. Look, I killed this smelly Taoist today! To report the hate of taking a wife many years ago! "

Seeing two beloved people beating each other to death, the woman sighed helplessly: "You two fought for each other. I had my grandfather's own flesh and blood nine years ago!" " The current little emperor also. My body belongs only to him, so go ... "At this moment, behind a stone lion, a well-dressed teenager flashed out and sighed," Empress Dowager, I am a man with broken sleeves and have a good relationship with the monk's grandfather ... "Then I glanced at the Taoist with the corner of my eye and bowed my head. Hearing this, the man stood for a long time with dust in his hand and said sadly, OK. The monk didn't seem to hear what the Taoist priest said. He asked the woman thoughtfully, Daughter, did you say that your majesty married his father nine years ago? Is he dead or alive now?

"Ha ha ha ha" With deafening laughter, a ragged Lama descended from the sky. "Bald donkey, don't revenge his wife, the old man how willing to go to the west? ! ! ! "

Fourth, a comprehensive interpretation of the analytical version:

Deep in the palace bedroom, three figures, two men and one woman, jumped up and down, and then jumped into a clearing at the same time. The man glared at the dust in his hand and scolded, "Bald donkey! Don't you dare How dare you rob a teacher by being original! " The woman quickly cried, "Brother! You have been in the palace for many years, and we can't be husband and wife at all. Why do you have to push hard! " As he spoke, he hugged the man around him tightly: "I only love him! I only have him in my heart! " The man gently broke the woman's hand, stepped forward and whispered, "Daughter! Step back. Look, I killed this smelly Taoist today! To report the hate of taking a wife many years ago! "

Interpretation: This passage is very informative, and the following points can be simply drawn: First, Taoist and monk are rivals in love, and both of them fall in love with the teacher; Second, Taoist priests and teachers are brothers and sisters; Third, monks and teachers are father and daughter; Fourth, the Taoist robbed the monk's wife. The above is a simple inference, which is not difficult to understand literally, but combining the second and third points, it can be concluded that monks and Taoist priests are actually father-son relationships, and the monk's wife is the Taoist priest's mother and teacher. At that time, the Taoist stole his mother from his father, so now the monk hates his guts. Now the Taoist falls in love with his school sister, and the school sister just falls in love with his father, the monk.

Seeing two beloved people beating each other to death, the woman sighed helplessly: "You two fought for each other. I had my grandfather's own flesh and blood nine years ago!" " The current little emperor also. My body belongs only to him, so go ... "At this moment, behind a stone lion, a well-dressed teenager flashed out and sighed," Empress Dowager, I am a man with broken sleeves and have a good relationship with the monk's grandfather ... "Then I glanced at the Taoist with the corner of my eye and bowed my head. Hearing this, the man stood for a long time with dust in his hand and said sadly, OK. The monk didn't seem to hear what the Taoist priest said. He asked the woman thoughtfully, Daughter, did you say that your majesty married his father nine years ago? Is he dead or alive now?

Interpretation: With the previous analysis, this paragraph is not difficult to understand. Although the teacher is currently in love with the monk's father, several years ago, he cheated on his grandfather (also the monk's grandfather), that is, the monk's father, and as a result, he gave birth to a little emperor, whose arm was broken and whose lover was the monk's grandfather (to be exact). But from the moment he looked at the Taoist priest, the relationship between the little emperor and uncle Dao was obvious. Just because the monk was afraid of his jealousy, he couldn't say it to his mouth. He can only flirt. The meat in the mouth of a Taoist priest is a teacher on the surface, but actually refers to the little emperor. Only Taoist priests and little emperors can understand the true meaning of this sentence. This understanding also corresponds to why the Taoist priest entered the palace from the palace to be an official, in fact, for the little emperor, not for the teacher! As for the fight between the monk and the Taoist at the beginning of the novel, I think it should be started by the monk to avenge the theft of his wife in those years, while the Taoist rebuked the monk for robbing the teacher mostly because he entered the palace, because he had unfinished grievances with the teacher to cover up the fact that he and the little emperor had broken their arms.

"Ha ha ha ha" With deafening laughter, a ragged Lama descended from the sky. "Bald donkey, don't revenge his wife, the old man how willing to go to the west? ! ! ! "

Interpretation: At this time, the result is ready. Lama and monk are father and son, and the monk robbed Lama's wife, that is, his mother.

The above is not the final result. If the above results are correct, there will be two characters in the dialogue in the novel, one is the wife of a monk and the other is the wife of a Lama, but all the characters involved in this paper actually exist! ! ! The final result is-the teacher is the wife of the monk and the wife of the Lama! ! !

The complete analysis is as follows:

Taoist priests and teachers are sons and daughters of monks, teachers and monks are LL (special words are blocked by the Fishery Administration) (the women of Taoist priests and teachers do not participate in the dialogue, that is to say, the wife of monks is not the teacher's mother, but the teacher himself), the monk is also the son of Lama, and the granddaughter of Lama and teacher is LL (the wife of Lama is also the teacher himself, not the monk's mother). The Taoist priest and the teacher are brother and sister LL (the wife of the Taoist priest is also the teacher himself), so the Lama, the monk and the Taoist priest regard a woman as his wife at the same time, so both the Taoist priest and Shang think that the other party has robbed his wife, and the Lama thinks that the monk has robbed his wife. Lama and his granddaughter LL gave birth to a little emperor, and the Taoist priest didn't get a teacher, so he fell in love with the little emperor, so he did not hesitate to go to the palace and become a eunuch (No.0 Taoist priest, Little Emperor 1, so the Taoist priest's marriage from the palace didn't affect their relationship) to get close to the little emperor, but the little emperor fell in love with the monk at the same time. After coming out of Shishi, he admitted his relationship with the monk, but he didn't want to disclose his relationship with the Taoist, so they used code words.

Note: LL is short for incest

Fifth, the embarrassing version:

Version 1 love triangle: thief road! Don't you dare compete with an old woman for a teacher.

Version 2 Brokeback Mountain: Thief, how dare you rob the abbot from the Taoist priest!

Version 3 Brokeback Mountain has an affair: Bald donkey, how dare you rob the poor!

Version 4 faithful brokeback mountain: dead thief ni. Don't destroy the relationship between Lao Na and Dao Ye!

Version 5: I have been in love for a long time: brother, just follow the old woman.

Version 60,000 gods are all laws: thief Ni! How dare you rob the Taoist master! !

Version 7 coherent: teacher, just follow the old woman ... the teacher will spare the old woman ~

6、

The former president of the United States went to a restaurant for dinner and met a waiter and said:

"The waiter poured me a glass of water."

The waiter did, and the president took the water, gulped it down and said:

"Have another drink."

The waiter was too tired to quit. When the president was angry, he said:

"Do you know who I am?"

I don't know.

"I am the president."

The waiter said:

"Do you know who I am?"

The president thinks he is a man with a big background and is a little scared. He said:

"No ... I don't know."

"I am a waiter."

…………

7、

An American boy went to England for a holiday and met a girl in a bar. You had me at hello. Chatting is very speculative It is getting late. The boy doesn't want the girl to leave. He wanted to invite her to dinner, so he asked, are you free tonight? The girl replied: it is not free, it is cheap!

8、

A couple snuggled up in the park. Men can't help stealing women's hair when they see it is so supple. The woman said coyly, "Oh, bah!" "The man tickled and touched it, and the woman said," Well, no! ""The man was very happy and touched it again. Suddenly the woman stood up and said rudely, "Don't touch it, my wig will fall off!" " ! ! "

9、

dark

1, a friend's classmate, wants to soak up a MM in the evening self-study, and goes up and asks, "Classmate, what time is it?"

MM looked at her watch and said, "Half past eight."

The fellow looked surprised and said, "Ah, it's half past eight by my watch. Do you think we are predestined friends? " ? ! "

Miss, do you know Wang Jun?

I don't know.

Hey hey! I knew it, because I am Wang Jun!

In the morning, the sun is shining and the breeze is blowing gently.

A beautiful girl was walking in the street, and a man who ran in the morning came face to face and passed her by.

The man suddenly turned and ran back to the beauty and greeted him warmly: "Hi! Meet again! "

The beauty was puzzled, but couldn't remember where she had seen it, so she frowned.

When the man saw it, he said, "Don't you remember? I am XXX! "

The beauty still has no impression after hearing this. She said, "I'm sorry, you mistook me for someone else. I haven't seen you before. "

The man still smiled and said, "I ran ahead of you just now." How can you not see me? " ! '

The beauty ignored her and turned to leave.

The man ran to keep up.

The beauty said angrily, "I'm sorry, I really don't know you."

The man still smiled and said, "How come? Didn't you hear my introduction just now? My name is XXX. "

If the beauty doesn't respond, she will go forward.

The man then said, "You already know my name. Now it's your turn to tell me your name."

The beauty ignored her and walked on.

The man followed and said to himself, "Besides, a beautiful woman like you shouldn't have a name, because no one deserves your name."

The beauty listened and said, "My name is XXX."

The man said excitedly, "Wow, that's a good name. So-and-so, full of nobility in the ordinary, more aura. It's a good name. I don't know how my uncle and aunt came up with such a good name. I must meet my uncle and aunt some other day. "

The beauty was helpless and said politely, "Thank you for your compliment."

The man saw that the beauty was still walking and asked again. Are you going home? "

The beauty wanted to send the man away and said, "OK, bye."

The man added, "I'll see you off."

Seeing the man who couldn't get rid of it, Mei stopped talking and went straight ahead. After a while, the man still didn't want to leave. The beauty said, "Ah, I just remembered something urgent. I have to catch the bus. Goodbye. " Then she was ready to run away.

However, the man quickly followed and said, "I'll drive you to the front of my house."

4. My junior took a fancy to a handsome guy in our school, so she went forward and accosted others:

Handsome, do you have a girlfriend?

I see.

Then would you mind changing it?

Mind.

Would you mind another drink? & gt

Two months later, the junior successfully took the upper position ~ ~

5. In college, I taught myself. A strange boy stopped me. I asked him what he wanted. He said, "Nothing, you are so white. I just want to see if you look good. "

fall into a faint

After a while, he came over and said, "Do you think I'm black?"

"Black" I said.

He said, "Everyone says I'm black."

Faint again.

6. I see a beautiful MM in front. . . . Can't strike up a conversation. . So ... . . . Pick up a brick. . . Step forward. . "Classmate, did you drop this?"