Who can tell a few sports-related jokes?

A boxer who often suffers from insomnia finds a doctor.

athlete: I often suffer from insomnia. I don't know what I can do.

doctor: I'll tell you a folk prescription. Just count it before going to bed, from 1 to 1.

athlete: I have tried this method, but every time I count to 9, I will jump out of bed.

The contribution of football

The reporter asked Bud, the football coach of the University of Oklahoma, what contribution football made to physical exercise.

"absolutely not." Bud answered immediately.

"absolutely not?" The reporter asked in surprise, "Why?"

"Twenty-two people who need rest are running desperately on the field, while 4, people who need exercise are sitting there watching."

Can't be a father

At the world fencing performance conference, the third-ranked swordsman appeared first.

The staff released a fly, and with a quick wave of his hand, the swordsman split the fly in half, and the audience applauded.

Then the second swordsman split the fly into four parts.

At this moment, the whole audience was silent and people waited for the greatest swordsman in the world to perform.

I saw him wielding a sword, and the blade of the sword chopped straight at the fly, but the fly remained the same.

The greatest swordsman missed the target at all, and the audience was shocked, but the swordsman was still smiling.

someone shouted, "What are you proud of? You missed! "

The swordsman replied, "Look carefully. The fly is still alive, but it will never be a father."

China is wonderful

An American friend visited China and said to the translator, "Your China is wonderful, especially in writing and language. For example, "China beat the United States" means that China won; And' China trounced the United States', and China won. In short, victory will always belong to you. "

I hope

The football match will start soon. A reporter from a newspaper came to a player who was preparing for the match and asked him to talk to enthusiastic fans about his hopes for the game.

The player thought for a moment and said, "When I took the ball smoothly over the opposing defender and rushed to the goal area to prepare for shooting, I hoped that the opposing goalkeeper would suddenly cramp and fall to the ground."

national football advertising

It is said that after a national football team was defeated, "Viagra" found a member of the national team to make an advertisement. The plot is: a member of the national team is holding a football in his left hand, and his right hand points to the screen and says, "Who can not shoot for more than 9 minutes, I can!" "

A condom manufacturer was deeply inspired after seeing the advertisement of Viagra, so he found a group of players from this national team and made an advertisement. The picture is: all the players bombarded the goal with the slogan: "No matter how many times you shoot, you can't shoot it!" ! ！”

manufacturers of birth control pills want to take a ride after reading it, but their own medicines are also for women. What can we do? ! However, after analysis, it is hard to beat them. After three days and three nights of meditation, I finally found a way: let a referee who plays a black whistle in A wear black, blow the whistle and make a gesture, and proudly say, "No matter how many shots are shot in, it doesn't count!"

Referee of China

God decided to hold a football match with Satan. God said to Satan, "I will win because I have the best players in the world."

Satan replied, "Don't be too happy. I invited China as the referee."

World Cup

The head coaches of three national football teams, Japan, South Korea and China, went to see God. The Japanese team asked when they would win the World Cup.

god said that after thirty years, the Japanese head coach cried and said that he couldn't wait. South Korea asked when it would win the World Cup.

god said that it would take 5 years, and the head coach of south Korea cried, saying that he couldn't wait. When will China win the World Cup?

god wanted to cry and said, "I can't wait.".

Bad luck

In the p>2 World Cup, the French team was eliminated in the group stage. A foreign reporter asked the French superstar Zidane, "The French team didn't score a goal in the group stage. What do you think?" Zidane said: "This is mainly because we are unlucky not to be in the same group as China." Reporter: "..."

Police and fans

A fan had to climb to a telephone pole outside the stadium to watch the football match.

After watching for a while, I saw a policeman coming this way. He was just about to get down when the policeman waved his hand and asked, "Did you score?"

"One to zero, we are in the lead. The fans replied.

"OK, you can watch there. Be careful not to fall." The policeman walked away with joy.

At the end of the game, the policeman came over and asked, "What's the score?"

"One to two, the visiting team won ..."

Before the fans finished, the policeman roared with wide eyes: "Then you still have the heart to watch? Come down quickly. "

When the fans saw this, they hurried down. Just halfway up, they heard cheers, thunder, gongs and drums ringing in the stadium. The police said quickly, "Come on, go up and see who scored again?"

Coincidence of champions

In p>1978, Juventus won the Serie A championship, Inter won the Italian Cup, Liverpool won the European Champions Cup, Charles got married and the Pope died.

25: Juventus won the Serie A championship, Inter won the Italian Cup, Liverpool won the European Champions Cup, Charles got married again, and the Pope died.

secrets of growing taller

A reporter interviewed basketball star Bater: "Mr. Bater, do you have any secrets of growing taller?"

Bater said, "Mr. reporter, you'd better ask Yao Ming. He is taller than me."

Predicting the match

Two fan traffic policemen were sent to the intersection to be on duty during the match.

after ten minutes, a glass flew out of the upstairs window opposite. A traffic policeman said, "Our team scored!" "

Ten minutes later, traffic policeman A said, "We scored another goal!" B traffic police found another glass flying out of the upstairs window opposite.

twenty minutes later, a TV set flew out of the upstairs window opposite. B traffic police asked, "What's the matter?" A traffic policeman said gloomily, "The other side scored!"

Donkeys of New Guizhou

If there are no donkeys in the World Cup, those who have Milu will be put in the boat, but if they are useless, they will be released to Gwangju. When Costa Rica saw it, it was a great country and thought it was a god. Hou trained to get a glimpse of it, get a little closer, and talk about it. On the day of the game, the donkey attacked. Brother was so frightened that he retreated to the backcourt, thinking that he had eaten himself, and he was very afraid. However, if you look at it from time to time, you will learn the sound of it if you feel that you are capable. Before and after going out again, I didn't dare to fight. I was a little closer and broke through on the side. Donkeys can't be angry, but they hoof it. Costa Rica was pleased with the plan: "The technology stops here." So he attacked on a large scale, broke through the door, scored two eggs and left.

Who is more important

The coach angrily scolded the athletes: "You threw the javelin into the audience and stuck it on an audience, even bending the spear head!" He roared, "Do you know how much it costs to match a javelin head?"

Teacher Han's best explanation

"No.7 player Sharp points the ball and passes it to No.9 player, who is also called Sharp. They may be brothers. There are many brothers active in football, such as the Delport brothers in Holland and the Keane brothers in Ireland. Good shot. The ball was passed to No.1. It was very good. Gee, number 1 is also called Sharp. It may be that foreign players only have their surnames printed on their jerseys. These players all have their surnames Sharp, just like many players in South Korea have their surnames Park. Beautiful. On the 1th, two players even scored. On the 11th, I went to congratulate you. On the 11th, I was-Sharp? (pause for a long time) Sorry, audience friends, Sharp is the name of the sponsor printed on the jersey. "