The most classic funny sentences about the most classic funny sentences

A selection of the most classic funny sentences

1) My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God and my dharma number is Tathagata.

2) On the way to kill the dragon, I swam across the river, climbed to the top of the tower and kissed your princess.

3) Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!

4) The story of Meng Mu's three moves actually shows that she has a good son. If I were you, it would be useless to move it a hundred times!

5) The only difference between a marriage certificate and a production license is that it is not hung on the wall.

6) I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

7) The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

8) My ID card is fake. Don't believe that I am a liar.

9) My buddy and his girlfriend have been busy with production every day since they got the production license.

10) I thought about having a holiday every day when I was at school, but now I have a holiday completely and want to go to school again!

The most classic encyclopedia of funny sentences

1, women's wrinkles are called old, and men's wrinkles are called vicissitudes.

2. I have lived for more than 20 years without doing anything for the country and the people. It hurts every time I think about it.

3, the head is big, the neck is thick, and the action is stupid like a pig!

4, alive, just to leap in embarrassment.

5. What is your vital capacity? You can blow cow B so big.

6. Confucius said: In a threesome, there must be my wife. Choose a beautiful one to marry.

7. Actually, I have never left the Jianghu. I just dive in the Jianghu for a long time.

8. There is a heart hidden under the appearance of Niu Bi.

9, the season of black silk flooding, let us have these thick legs?

10, you are dressed dangerously, but you look safe.

1 1, just know what you are.

12, romance can never be valued, otherwise I would have been worth millions.

13, you are very kind, especially when you are sad.

14, when will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

15, your serious appearance can't hide your man's heart!

16, rival in love fell into the water and we had to pee.

17. When there is only one drop of blood left in your depravity, call Brother Sanxin back to life.

18, the three things I fear most in my life, the first fear of death, the second fear of illness, and the third fear of dying if I get sick.

19, I'd rather have a prince riding a pig than a prince riding a white horse.

20. I believe that it is a pity that Raytheon can't touch you when you go out in the rain.

2 1, the reason why you can't hold sand is because you choose a sieve for flour, which is too thin. I can stand you because I used a net to catch big fish and let all the small fish slip by.

22. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

23. Get up every morning and watch Forbes Rich List. If my name is not on it, I will go to work.

25. Youth is like toilet paper. You can read a lot, but you can't use it enough.

26. There are always a few grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, to blue, to purple, to green, and finally he left me.

27. Your new love is someone else's whore.

28. There are many beautiful women in Jiangshan, and countless mistresses have made coquetry.

29. Niu B is an ordinary person and Niu Organ is a scholar.

30. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine, and I will get hot. Don't mess with me, or I will melt you.

3 1, when philanderer meets easy virtue, it will be a heavyweight showdown in a sexual storm.

When my mother became a swan, you were still an egg.

The alarm clock only woke up my body, but it couldn't wake up my sleeping heart.

34. Take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, and you won't be short of calcium.

35. How are you doing now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

36. You, you, you, you, you push me again, and I will feed you Sanlu.

Judging from the way he eats, it is hard to believe that mankind will become extinct one day.

38. Cow dung is cow dung. No matter how fragrant you are, flowers will not be inserted in you, because that will insult the aesthetic feeling.

39, people don't YY waste teenagers! No, the cat is not feeling well!

40. I waited for a long time to hear from you, and all I got was a haha. You treat me like a fucking joke.

The most classic and funny sentence

The most classic and funny sentence

1. If the son is disobedient, he can fight appropriately, otherwise he will not show the majesty of Lao Tzu. This is the case in Taiwan Province Province.

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

I can't close the garden in spring, so I'll draw an apricot out of the wall.

I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I have been following the rules for so many years.

It's raining, don't forget to take an umbrella. If you get wet, gonorrhea will be in trouble!

6. Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

7. A fat man claimed that he was not a clown.

8. Describe your life with your 2B pencil.

9. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.

10. I really envy you for knowing me so young.

1 1. Since I became a bubble, no one dared to step on my head.

12. Take the title of big milk and enjoy the treatment of second wife!

13. Other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies.

14. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

15. We are all farsighted, which blurs our recent happiness.

16. There is absolutely no feeling after drinking a catty of white wine, because you died after drinking half a catty.

17. I refuse to obey anyone when I am drunk, just hold the wall.

18. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

19. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.

20. Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes. I'm the devil wears Prada!

2 1. Since ancient times, whoever has no Shǐ has no paper to go to the toilet.

22. You can't blame others for standing up straight and looking down at you when you are crawling on the ground.

23. Money is not a problem, but no money.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

25. I am not a customer service staff, and you have no right to ask me to answer this and that.

26. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people.

27. The sexiness of the soul is the real sexiness in the bones.

28. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th!

29. Were you vomited three times after you were born, but you were only caught twice?

30. Think about the salary, forget it, and don't want to live.

3 1. I am still young and need some advice. But I don't need your advice …

Girl, your bed is always busy with people coming and going.

33. Friends around me, quickly become famous, so that my memories can be recorded and sold well. ...

34. Give me a fulcrum, and I will put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

35. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men. ...

Appreciation of the most classic funny sentences

When I was a child, I liked to play hide and seek. When all my friends were hiding, I sneaked home.

2. How many times have I told you not to always use cactus as a toothpick?

There are only two days in a year that I like least, that is, sunny day and rainy day.

4, finally have time to stretch, abdominal muscles tense.

5, this year's senior high school entrance examination is actually very simple, but I will, it won't, I won't, it will take all the exams.

6, Confucius can't solve the problem, simple, I will help you solve it.

7. I don't know if it's because of its petals or its thorns.

8. What is the beauty of makeup? Show us the ability to remove makeup.

9. You said that you just came into this world without considering our feelings?

10, Xiao Mo once crossed it: all that glitters is not gold, but mistress cannot be measured.

1 1. When I was a child, Mommy always liked to coax us into saying that it was picked up from the toilet.

12, I'm not toilet paper. I can't do it. Every girl needs it every day.

13, girls care about the happiness of the second half of their lives, while boys only care about the comfort of the lower half.

14. The most painful thing in life is that the price of instant noodles eaten every day has increased.

15, the friendship in this society is like a vase, which will break when it is smashed.

16, I wanted to turn gracefully, but I didn't know it was gorgeous.

17. When happiness suddenly knocks on the door, I hesitate to turn left or right.

18, demo, if I hadn't hit you, I would have turned my face.

19, remember, whoever dares to provoke you in the future, you should show your shoulders and say, come out.

20. Well, women always don't want to go to work for 30 days every month.

2 1, I think it's time to go back to Mars. It seems that the earth is not suitable for me.

22. You deleted my QQ directly. Thank you for making a decision for me.

23. If one day I die, remember that I am absolutely bored to death.

24. Shenzhouxing, I suppose? I don't pay the phone bill, but I'll see if you can.

25, flying straight down three shits, but unfortunately I didn't bring any paper!

26. As the saying goes, women like bad men and don't like bad men.

27. When I get old, I'll have a perm and be a western-style old woman.

28. If a man doesn't want to dress you in a wedding dress, you can just give him a cassock.

29. You are the Mona Lisa, smiling at everyone every day.

30. See who is shorter if you can. Look, I'm a loser.

3 1, I am the Prince Charming Tang Priest in your heart!

The process of meeting us is like this: love at first sight, then decline, and finally fatigue.

I want to shut myself in the refrigerator in this weather.

Years later, you walked on your red carpet and I crossed my zebra crossing.

35. The letter of guarantee is only a promise not to study in the future.

I'll give you any drill you want, but now there's only one brick.

37. My dream is to have a cat that can only be dragged out for a walk.

38. People say you are ugly, but I think your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

The funniest sentence

1, I am poor, please don't rob the tomb!

I thought that no one would recognize me as long as I was as black as coal, but I was wrong. I was completely wrong. Now I'm shiny black.

If there were not too many cheaters, I would have sold my kidney!

4. I'll be a worker when you enter a foreign company, because that's a day when there are a lot of invigilators-sit in front of me! Life!

I received a short message from my mobile phone. There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went to vomit. One day you went and the monkey threw up.

6. I drew a coffin in which you were lying with her. How nice of me to let you die together.

7. The foreign girl who doesn't go to our school doesn't know that she is a bird. No wonder Zhao Chuan was so sad when she sang this song.

8. Work is so interesting! Especially watching others work.

9. Girls are like moon cakes in Mid-Autumn Festival. After fifteen nights, they are worthless!

10, bid farewell to masturbation and look for love. Exercise JJ every day and enjoy it.

1 1, don't think that just because a girl is beautiful can seduce me, at least she is stupid enough!

12. Now hospitals can compete with the speed of ATM machines for money. The funniest sentence

13. When listening to the lecture in the church, we should keep quiet. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

14, today, the invigilator said: I will hand out the paper quickly, so do you. When you're done, go home to your mother.

15, why hasn't the old man's junk come yet?

16, don't eat meat

17, Czechoslovakia! My name is Jack, and my wife always complains about me like this. (JACKSLOWFUCK)

18, does everyone know one or more people who like news broadcast, and everyday life is nothing more than lying?

19, it's been a long time since anyone blew a cow so fresh.

20. Love is a luxury. It's like a fox coat in a Paris window, so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will wake people up. Love is also a luxury, you can only look at it from a distance, don't fantasize, don't touch it, because it is indispensable to meet the right person at the right time and in the right place.

2 1, reduce the number of boys behind each girl to 6!

22. The wife is a big tree, and the lover is a grass. Planting a big tree is good for enjoying the cool, and raising a piece of grass is good for walking birds, which is a harmonious society and environmental protection.

23. Crazy people with mental disorders are not terrible. What's terrible is a madman in his right mind.

When I was a child, my teacher told me that everyone has a diligent villain and a lazy villain. You hesitate, they fight. Diligent villains often beat lazy villains out of the water in primary school, tied in junior high school, and lazy villains often win in high school. But when I got to the university, I suddenly found that they stopped playing, and the damn diligent little man was killed.

25, on impulse, the crisis of later generations! Complete works of the most interesting sentences

26, everyone is drunk and I wake up alone, Lao Tzu is not serious!

27. If a man is fined for illegal parking, he will quarrel with the police and the woman will persuade him. If a woman is fined for parking illegally, she will have an argument with the man around her, and the police will persuade her.

28. Is money really that important to you? I talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind.

29. Get up every morning and shout: Fuck Japan. This is not only good for health, but also can cultivate patriotic moral sentiments!

30. When you were a child, your mother hung a bone for you and at least had a dog to play with!

3 1. What did you look like before the accident?

32. From heaven to hell, I pass by!

33. I would rather sacrifice the last virgin in China than leave any Japanese virgin!

34. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

35. It is much more difficult to catch brain cells than eggs.

36. I didn't give women at first, but then I was anxious for women!

37, a woman lying in a row, took off her clothes and turned it over to see if she could shoot X.

38. When a woman's unit sends out 1,000 yuan, she will tell the man that she sent out 1,000 yuan and her friend that she sent out 500 yuan. When a man sends a thousand dollars, he will tell a woman that he sent 500 dollars and a friend that he sent 1,500 dollars.

Don't be like a trash can, always loading, loading and loading the latest and funniest sentences.

40. The party member activity of the Department of Mathematics forced girls to clean the boys' dormitory, which was really outrageous!

4 1. My similarities with my father are different.

42. When a person walks into the library, he needs to borrow a copy of "Self-directed Day". The librarian roared, Get out! If you don't pay it back, you won't borrow it!

43. When the sky falls, you hug me, hehe.

44. Look at the konjac flower from a distance, look at Lady Enforcers from a close distance, and look at the cannibal flower carefully.

45. Adults are overdue children and the elderly are invalid adults.

46. Praise a female classmate in person: You are really a lotus flower!

47. I study professional academic issues such as Tyrannosaurus Rex feed, eunuch fertility, and how much start-up capital is needed for real estate on Mars.

48. Lovers eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses are well off.

49. Teacher, just follow the old lady! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman!

50. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

5 1, fill her emptiness with your surplus!

52. When you are lovelorn, even if you see two straight rails, you can't help but imagine them as two lines of tears flowing to the horizon.

53. Doing 100 good deeds with leaders is better than doing a bad thing with leaders.

54. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

55, don't ask for the right door, just feel in place.

In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

Not long ago, Xiaoming took part in a small military training. Just got home one day, Xiao Ming's mother asked Xiao Ming to count whether all the chickens had entered the nest. Xiao Ming went to the chicken nest and said to the chicken, Count off!

When I see a B, I always keep my head down. It is not that I am educated, but that I am looking for bricks.

59. I remember that all of us were strangers to teachers when we first entered junior high school. Once in a math class, the teacher wanted a classmate to do a problem on the blackboard, but he forgot the name. It happened that the classmate was very fat. Our teacher pointed at the child and made him cry. Let's do this problem.

60. W: I want to find a boyfriend. M: Let me help you. There is a good one in our dormitory. Woman: Aren't you distressed that I am with him? . Man: Think too much? Don't worry, I have nothing to do with him.

6 1. When cooking, a crab pushed out of the pot cover and said to me, it's so hot! I told it: if you want to be red, you can bear it.

If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I'll resign. Before I resign, I will give him two Chinese and kill him.

63. It's a manhole plug and a manhole socket!

64. I don't like sleeping with a woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.

65. Don't think that you can scamper for a few more days just because you are younger than me. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

66. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but that I am in Sina Weibo and you are in Tencent Weibo.

It pains me to see skinny African refugees on TV, but my grandmother said, honey, don't be fooled by TV now. They will have no money to eat, and their mother will take them to have a perm!

68. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

69. Only women and English are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find!

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.