Weibo's humorous jokes.

1. We should be modest people, listen to other people's opinions, carefully write down more people with opinions, and then kill them!

Mom asked me to send my four-year-old brother to school on business today. He went to school at eight in the morning, and I didn't send him to school until half past two in the afternoon. He just said that he would ask his sister to send him tomorrow.

Today, the boss told a joke and everyone laughed. Only Xiao Zhang didn't laugh. Xiao Wang asked Xiao Zhang why you didn't laugh. Xiao Zhang said that I resigned.

4. One day, Xiaoming went home by bike. Suddenly I saw a dollar in front. Xiaoming quickly got off the bus to pick up the money. Then I saw another piece in front, and I picked it up again ... until I found 10, it was gone. I turned around and looked ... the bike was gone. .....

The doctor was brutally killed by a gangster. Before he died, he wrote the name of the murderer on the floor with his last strength. However, the police haven't recognized what it is written.

6. Just now, my wife was watching a Japanese cartoon. After watching it for a while, she suddenly said to me, "Loli's advantage is that she is soft and easy to push down." Do you think I look like Lori? " Without thinking, I said, "You are not like Lori, you are like Lohan". Then, I knocked on the kneeling keyboard and knelt down until now. ...

7. My wife is nine months pregnant and plays songs to her baby all day. I can't stand it after a long time. She said she was having prenatal education. This is not prenatal education, it is pure brainwashing. Whose prenatal education plays "only mother is good" all day!

8. Pay the salary card after marriage, and the wife gives pocket money on time. One day, I really couldn't stand it. I said to my wife, "My mother gives more pocket money than you do at school." The wife replied coldly, "That's for her future daughter-in-law. Do you really think it's for you? "

9. The Chinese teacher said, "Wrong question, nothing. Get experience from it! A wrong question is a fortune on the road to success. " I opened the test paper and was surprised to find: "I didn't find it at all." Am I not a local tyrant? "

10. A man is waiting anxiously outside the maternity door. The door suddenly opened and the nurse came out with three children in her arms. The man calmed his excited heart, looked at the child carefully and said, I want this one in the middle!

1 1. One day, my second-grade brother asked me a math problem. I took one look and said, give me a glass of water first. So I flew to Baidu, and now the math problem is very bad. Twelve. Just today, I crowded the bus and turned around to find that the bag was opened! ! As soon as I saw my mobile phone and wallet, I lost my exercise book.