Play a humorous joke

Joke is an artistic language, taken from life. Therefore, it is easy to understand and always makes us laugh. It can add different colors to simple life and relieve daily stress. Next, I carefully prepared an opening humorous joke for you. Welcome to watch!

Opening humorous jokes (popular articles) 1. When my son was 3 years old, he went back to his mother's house with his daughter-in-law, and his sister-in-law took a summer vacation to help his wife see it. One day my sister-in-law teased my son with an LP photo of his childhood. Who is she? My son replied:? She is your sister. You don't even know her. Stupid! ! ! ? The whole family laughed on the spot?

2. Walking in the crowd, different gamers have different reactions. DOTA player: I have a premonition that the orcs are declining ... CS player: I aimed at the headshot on the screen! A gamer: Linger, where are you?

Teachers' Day teachers turn around and wish all male teachers, female teachers, fat teachers, thin teachers, tall teachers, short teachers, new teachers and old teachers healthy, harmonious and beautiful, and celebrate Teachers' Day every day. (@ Laughing at my period)

4. A child stood by the blacksmith's shop and watched the blacksmith strike the iron! The blacksmith missed Doby, so he took out the red-hot iron and put it in front of the child to scare him! The child winked and said, if you give me a dollar, I will lick it! ? Hearing this, the blacksmith immediately took out a dollar and gave it to the little girl! The child took the money, licked it with his tongue, put it in his pocket and left?

My cousin is 23 years old and has no girlfriend. At a relative's party, we asked him what kind of girl he wanted, and we found one for him. Before he spoke, his mother told us that he wanted to find a stewardess, and we said that your boy was still demanding. Then my cousin said a classic sentence: Japanese?

6. Customer: A bowl of hot noodles. Waiter: A bowl of hot noodles. Customer: Change the bowl of cold noodles. Waiter: A bowl of cold noodles. The guest left after eating cold noodles. The waiter asked him to pay. Customer: How much is it? Attendant: I didn't pay for the cold noodles. Customer: Didn't you change the cold noodles into hot ones? Attendant: You didn't pay for the hot noodles either? Guest: I didn't eat hot soup noodles!

7. 1. Part I: Hating dad is not enough. Bottom line: complaining that dad is not Shuangjiang. Horizontal batch: reincarnated surname Li. 2. Shanglian: The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves before; Bottom line: Father is crazier than father. Horizontal criticism: It was none other than Li. 3. Part I: Li Gang, Li Yang and Li Shuangjiang. Bottom line: submachine guns for car accidents and domestic violence. Horizontal approval: Li Jia is awesome.

8. When the kindergarten was first opened, many children were sent. After the parents left, the child cried, just like killing a pig farm! At this time, only one child was crouching in the corner, and the teacher was ready to praise him. As he approached, the child snatched the teacher's mobile phone with lightning speed and didn't even dial the number. He picked up the phone and cried into it. Dad, come and help me! I was sold by my mother ...?

9. The nurse gave the patient an injection and asked curiously: What do you do? The patient replied:? Just like you. ? The nurse was very surprised: Oh, we are colleagues. ? Patient:? Not really a colleague. I nail shoes. ?

10. When I was a freshman in military training, I asked my girlfriend to wear camouflage clothes and bought a big watermelon. In a cool place, I held my girlfriend, and her girlfriend held a watermelon to dig for me. Let the envy of freshmen envy and hate. The instructor is here. Take out your student ID card. I'm a sophomore, okay?

Opening humor (classic) 1. When Mr. Han is free, he looks up the dictionary and wants to give the baby a good name. His colleagues gave him advice, but Mr. Han was not satisfied. A few days later, my colleague asked Mr. Han with concern: Have you thought about the baby's name? Mr. Han:? Yes, name: Han, nickname: 999?

2. Someone asked what is the use of jailbreak. Let me explain: Android is called root, iphone is called jailbreak, Saipan is called visa-free, and life is called confession. Their common feature is that they are timid before they do it, and they can do whatever they want after they do it. Of course, they should also pay attention to safety. In case of accidental pregnancy, it will be miserable (brick replacement, poisoning, no warranty)? (@kentzhu)

3.《? TVB TV series? With what? News broadcast? Difference ":watching TVB TV series means watching different dramas in the same class year after year;" Watching the news broadcast is, day after day, always watching different people performing the same bad drama. (@ youyou)

I was planning to smoke a cigarette when I was walking on the road. After I pulled out my cigarette, I found that I forgot to bring my lighter! Looking back at the store, I saw a beautiful woman in red with her hands in her pockets and her head down smoking. I quickly shouted:? Beauty, give me a light. ? The beauty looked at me and said, do you want your mobile phone number or chase me? I said:? I just want to borrow a light! ? Beauty:? No borrowing. ?

Aoi sora held a party at home and invited many actresses and famous actor Takashi Kato. Half the wine, Aoi sora shyly said to kato filial piety. Kato sang, I want to ~ ~ ~! ? Kato Takashi said seriously: Ducks sell labor! Cang Jing sauce, please don't talk about work in private time! ?

6. The Mid-Autumn Festival factory issued 50 grams of gold: our factory refines gold. In the suburbs. This year's benefits are relatively good, and the company said that the output in the morning will not be recycled. It's all distributed to employees, only 50 grams each. . . . . Everybody go on. . . (@sube)

7. Xiaoming was not good at math and was transferred to a missionary school by his parents. Six months later, I got straight A's in math. Mom asked:? Do nuns teach well? Is it a good textbook? Is it prayer? ...？ Neither? Xiao Ming said,? On the first day of school, I saw a man nailed to the plus sign, and I knew ... they were serious. . . ?

8. The scalp itches after washing your hair in the morning. Take a closer look: soft! First, soak a bucket of Kangshuaifu instant noodles and smoke a Chinese herbal cigarette to relieve boredom. After breakfast, put on Baoxinwu's coat and go downstairs with a big white milk-free candy! Go to Zhongwei Petroleum to refuel. When you walk into the supermarket, there are a variety of goods in it: silk thread, doll, good next door, pulse robbery, and many oranges? Ha, there are ugly liquid foods.

9. Once, a single woman stayed at her house for the night, and she came with a row of electric mosquito coils. No, that won't do. ? I flushed with fear and stood up from the sofa. Shit, no, no, no. Our friendship? . ? Later, this became a joke that she relished in recent years. Sometimes her rogue girlfriends even perform together with mosquito-repellent incense tablets. Our friendship? (@ Ba Li Shen)

10. a:? My boyfriend proposed to me. ? b:？ You promised him? A:? Yes, he told me that he has a very conspicuous car. Whenever he drives down the street, pedestrians and cars will give way to him. ? A:? Wow, that's great! ? b:？ Oh, stop bragging. Later I learned that he drove a sprinkler.

Opening humor (selected articles) 1. Xiaoming is a very good boy. One night, he kept crying and begged his mother to help him do this and that. His mother was so sleepy that she said angrily to Xiao Ming. Stop calling mom, or I'll ignore you! ? After a while, Xiao Ming said timidly. Mrs. Chen, please.

2. A foreigner tied his iPhone4 to his cat and turned on the camera. The camera filmed the cat's activities all day from the cat's perspective. A friend from China saw the video interesting and tied his iPhone4 to his cat? As a result, the iPhone4 was gone and the cat was gone. . . (@ Laughing at my period)

3. The classmate went home for the Spring Festival and met a girl at the railway station. The girl said that she came to Beijing to attend the postgraduate entrance examination class. Her wallet was taken away by a thief, and she was cold and hungry. She asked her brother to do good deeds and showed her student ID card. Looking at her sincere eyes, my brother really wants to pay. Suddenly, he suddenly realized and asked, what is the connection and difference between Marxist epistemology and idealistic epistemology?

4. In the hospital, I listened to my father yelling at the expectant mother who was filling out the form. My name should be written in the column of father. How do you spell your father's name?

5. The strongest voice of the seniors' counterattack: Remember, the seniors want to chase you because they can't catch up with the seniors. Remember, girls, the seniors who chase you are all inferior goods picked by girls! ! ! Defective products! ! ! Time? Product? Seniors, have you stood firm?

6. Actually, joining hands to brush monsters in online games originated from China's Journey to the West: Tang Priest is responsible for attracting monsters, the Monkey King is responsible for killing monsters, Guanyin is responsible for adding blood to the air, and Pig Eight Rings and Friar Sand follow behind to rub the experience value? (@Rainmiao)

7. While eating, a foreigner at the next table asked me in broken Chinese, "Do all your mobile phones have the function of detecting toxic substances?" I was at a loss. I said, "No."He said shyly, "I see many of you use your mobile phones to shoot food before eating, and I thought ..." (@ Bao Er Qin)

8. Women of our age can be strange aunts who flirt with shota ~ invincible beautiful girls who seduce uncles ~ pseudo-royal sisters who trample on their schoolmates' self-esteem ~ simple school girls who want to go to school ~ take postgraduate entrance examinations if they want to work ~ walk around for interviews if they want to work ~ be queen of pubs ~ be beautiful if they want to make up and make clothes ~ take a step back and point out mountains and rivers ~ I'm sorry to say that there are too many advantages ~ We are kings with thin faces and strong gas fields. Who Are We? Junior!

9. When I was lying in bed reading a novel, my second child suddenly said: Are you studying science? I nodded:? Yeah? Do you remember the chemical equation in which copper is put into dilute nitric acid? I blurted out:? 38324! ! ? We are all excited to say this? Who can understand the mood of science students studying business?