100 points for the funniest joke

Recently, I fell in love with a girl who majored in foreign languages. I sent her text messages every day, from morning to night, from lyrical to sad. I saw 500 free messages in M-Zone this month. The text messages were almost finished, so I cruelly arranged for a dynamic text message package of 200 messages for 15 yuan, but she was still as ruthless as Mei Chaofeng and as cold as Mu Nianci. This makes me very depressed. I don’t want tea (but I drink juice), I don’t want to eat (but I eat snacks), my face is thin, I feel sad, I feel in a trance, and I feel that my life is confused.

On this day, a peach blossom prawn-level buddy pulled me aside and whispered something earnestly. I was enlightened, so I made up this sentence:

If you don't agree, what's the point of my life? Forgive me for leaving like this. In another miserable world with heavy snowfall, no grass, darkness, and no sky, I will still wait for your reply...

However, in my excitement, I accidentally chose the group sending function. The mobile phone I used was F350, with a phone capacity of 299 times 8. When I was sweating coldly, I maintained a rare sobriety------immediately dialed 10086 to activate the super smooth listening service! I waited for the call for 500 minutes, and sure enough, my cell phone rang one after another -----

First of all, it was my mother: Son, you have to live without your mother, your mother will be heartbroken without you. , for the sake of your mother raising you for 20 years, why don’t you want to open up a little bit? Don’t you want to buy a laptop? Can your mother promise you that?

Then the father is at work: Son, tell your father, which girl do you like? I remember back then, your dad used to scare your mom like this.

Sister: Brother, oh, for our dad and our mom...

Cousin: Your phone is always busy! Now that I hear you speak, I feel relieved!

Best friend YTR: Where are you going? Let's go together, man, I feel life is boring.

Brother Huazi: Damn, what are you doing? Do you want to break your back with me? Tell me, actually...

A girl who once chased me L: The sun is so bright today, I finally waited for your words, I promise!

High school Chinese teacher: There is a serious language problem in your sentence...

Cousin: If you send me harassing text messages, I will sue you to my aunt, but you agree first If you don't die, I won't sue you.

Basketball friends: Where is this miserable world with heavy snowfall, darkness, and no grass growing?

Grandma: My child, grandma is confused. Two years ago, when you were admitted to college, grandma promised to give you this golden retriever dog.

Uncle: Promise what?

Professor Yu: Hold on tight, let alone 60 points, I promise you 80 points!

Friend MP: You are trying to force me to death. You are really not a man. Why don’t I just lend you 500 yuan? I promise to give it to you on Saturday, okay?

Monitor: It’s still about skipping class, right? Didn’t I promise you not to report it to the counselor? You said you would invite me to dinner but you haven’t yet!

Roommate Xiao Sichuan: I understand, you went to No. 1 again, didn’t you bring toilet paper?

Uncle: Son, why is your heart so fragile? It's not that I don't agree to let you use the car. I'm afraid that your skills are not good enough. Let's do this. I'll be your driver on Sunday.

Cousin who is a freshman in college: Brother, I know you have liked me since you were a child, but we have both taken biology classes, and the law does not allow it.

The head teacher in high school: I have been playing these Qiong Yao novels for you. I told you that they were given to you after you were admitted to a key university. You are a good student and you should know the teacher. Is it for you?

JY, my crush in middle school: Wow, I am still so important in your heart! I'll think about it, just wait for me.

Uncle Meng: Don’t scare uncle, he has heart disease!

"Colleague" A from the Student Union: Where are you now? You have to have a sense of the overall situation. I promise to vote for you, and it won't matter if I don't vote for you, right?

Classmate Ding Ding: Hello? Hello! Still alive? I recommend you Building 9, 28th floor, it’s fast and refreshing!

Netizen Mizuki Jelly: If meeting someone can save a life, I promise to meet you now, but I’m really ugly.

A girl I met on the bus: I said I would take another bus with you, but I never met you? You can't blame me.

The owner of the Internet cafe: Do you owe me Internet access fees? How much? If it’s less, forget it.

A female classmate: I haven’t spoken to you much yet. This is very sudden. Let me think about it again, okay?

Neighbor Uncle Wang: Your aunt and I have been studying for a long time, but we still can’t understand what you said, but it seems that you are in danger, so I called 110.

A male netizen: Damn, no, you have a broken back. I’m sorry, I really can’t promise you.

Associate professor who teaches philosophy: Let’s talk to you about the meaning of life. The most precious thing for a person is life...

Department counselor: I order you to hold your ground now. A safe place to go!

The bookstore owner who worked for him during the summer vacation: Come here and I will pay you now.

......

......

On the second day, I actually received a full 600 calls, and the phone gradually calmed down. Dry tongue and body collapse. At this moment, the phone rang again. I pressed the green button tremblingly, and a sweet voice came over:

----You, you, why do you use such a rogue method to deceive people? I called your cell phone all day, do you know? !

MY GOD! It's online! yeah! And this method is really worth it------I just spent an extra 15 yuan on the super smooth listening package! Huhu~