In the Song Dynasty, how did the father-in-law choose his son-in-law?

In the Song Dynasty, the father-in-law chose his son-in-law based on his background, status, and most importantly, whether he had any fame. If you have fame and honor, you don't need any betrothal gifts, or even a small amount of money will be fine.

In fact, in the Song Dynasty, the father-in-law’s choice of son-in-law was similar to that in modern times. He also first looked at the man’s family conditions. If the man's family conditions are too different from your own, such as being too poor or too rich, then it is not a good choice. If the daughter is from a poor family, she will have to endure hardships if she marries him; if the daughter is married to someone who is too rich, she will not have the confidence to stand up and speak up, and will always be a doormat. Therefore, when choosing a son-in-law, the father-in-law of the Song Dynasty paid great attention to the man's family conditions. Only the man who was of the same family as him was the best son-in-law. Of course, there are exceptions to this, that is, scholars who are famous.

For example, a father-in-law who is an official will look for his in-laws among his colleagues, and a father-in-law who is a businessman will also choose in-laws with a business background. This can also be said to be a strong alliance, which will also help their respective careers.

It would be better if the son-in-law had a reputation. Not only would the mother-in-law become more and more pleased with him, but the father-in-law would also be the same. Under the influence of the Song Dynasty's national policy of emphasizing literature over martial arts, the status of scholars became increasingly high.

If a scholar has fame, even if he is poor now, a group of powerful father-in-laws will come to him, asking for no money at all, or even paying him back. Because such a son-in-law will have the opportunity to become a high official in the future. If they are lucky enough to become a high official, their power and political status will rise sharply. Therefore, finding a son-in-law who is temporarily poor but has a good reputation is a long-term investment.

Because of this, there were many jokes about "catching a son-in-law under the ranking" in ancient times. On the day when the list is released, aristocratic families and wealthy businessmen will send their own butlers to wait beside the list with manpower and funds. If any scholar says that he is in high school, he will rush up and stuff him into a sedan chair without saying a word and take him to his house. , let him become the master's son-in-law.