Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Chapter 105 Totem
Chapter 105 Totem
Chapter 105: Totem
Ever since I entered the mercenary profession, my world has been filled with only darkness and chaos. Daily life consists of wandering around battlefields, taverns and brothels. The butchers and the others spend a lot of money earned from the fire on the prostitution places without any heartache. If there is anything else in the world besides military camps, What they are most familiar with is the brothel.
They only go to the most luxurious brothels. Of course, if wartime conditions do not allow it, ordinary brothels can also tolerate it. But New York is really a modern metropolis, and even the romantic places are full of modernity. Unlike Mrs. Taylor's place, which is full of rich cultural atmosphere.
Sitting among the groups of beauties, enjoying the girl’s gentle touch, drinking while watching other people holding naked beauties and swimming in the warm luxury swimming pool. The notebook in front of me is the one I just bought from the supermarket. The image on the screen is transmitted from the surveillance camera near my home. Since I can't go home, I can only "care" for my family in this way.
"Sir! Do you need me to help you relieve your stress? You have been staring at the screen for more than two hours!" A beautiful black-haired woman next to me put her hand on my crotch Trust me, the girls here are indeed the top beauties in the world, and of course the prices are rare in the world. They were all asking $10,000 an hour, and I was just sitting here looking at my computer and not making any sexual advances. Of course they were surprised.
"No need!" Looking at the door of my home, which is thousands of miles away and twelve hours away, I can't help but reach out and touch the handle on the screen. It's a pity that my fingers didn't touch the metal block in my mind, but the LCD screen with water ripples.
After a while of caressing, I felt that the longing in my heart was wiped away by a touch of satisfaction. Close the laptop and switch the Bluetooth connection on the phone. I closed my eyes and pushed away the girls around me, slowly enjoying the joy of "reunion".
"Life is short, enjoy yourself while you can! Are you right in what I said? Little darling." The butcher sat on the sofa and wiped his saber that had been stained by blood. When he saw my sentimental expression He patted the face of the woman who was working hard between her legs and said to herself.
"Puch!...Hmm!...Hmm!...Yes!..." The woman who was giving him oral sex took a moment to glance at me, and finally managed to squeeze out a few words from her full mouth. Come.
"Are you homesick again?" The speed machine always plays with women very quickly, as if he is afraid that someone will give him a break when he is happy.
"No!" I pulled out a few jade hands that had already been inserted into my underwear, and without interest, I took the speed machine's shoulders and walked to the mini bar in the room to sit down.
"You're not homesick, could it be that you miss REDBACK?" The young master was shirtless and mixing drinks for everyone. Several girls in bikinis around him kept smiling and putting ice cubes into his swimming trunks, stretching his boxer briefs into a T-shape. This guy didn't even look angry at all, and he wasn't afraid that his penis would be frozen.
"I think he wants to study abroad in France!" Daxiong hugged a petite Asian woman and came over to sit on a high chair, then lifted the girl onto his lap as if she was carrying a bag. , he kept touching her hand up and down happily, making the woman smile like a fool.
"Or is it the legendary first love? What's his name? Who is that! Butcher! What is the name of the ghoul's first love?" TATTOO's buttocks were naked but the gun holster was hanging out. Covered in colorful tattoos, the guy swaying between his legs sat down against the young master, stretched out his arms to hug a woman who was bartending, and sat down on his most important part to cover the exposed spring, stretched out his neck and rushed into the distance. the butcher cried.
"Hmm...what's your name...Wan'er!" The butcher remembers the names of Chinese people with the same virtue as I remember the names of foreigners. It would be nice to remember a name.
"Zhao Wan'er!" The werewolf walked out with the beauty in his arms. He was the most unlucky! Nothing happened to the beauty, but she was followed here, and his original plan to find flowers and beauties was disrupted. Seeing the beauty's shaky appearance, he vented his anger on the bed.
"That's right! I really pity that little girl for her appearance!" The young master poured me a glass of Mexican tequila, closed his eyes and said as if he was savoring some delicious food.
"Yes! That little body looks like a weak sick plant. That kind of useless woman is meant to be tortured!" The butcher grabbed the hair of the woman under the crotch and pulled her face towards her. , dug his finger into her tongue, pulled it out and spit it out, then watched her swallow the thick semen into her stomach, turned her head and pointed at her little finger and said.
"Stop it! Stop it!" I stretched out my hand to stop the others from trying to make noise: "I have nothing to do with her, don't make trouble with her." I understand that everyone is afraid that I will do some harm. About REDBACK, but I'm also very curious about the way they think. Doesn't it count as hurting your lover if you go whore outside?
"You! You are a coward at all, with a heart as soft as macaroni. That pitiful little girl will make you confused with just two tears!" The captain also joined in the crusade against me, After dragging the assassin up from downstairs, several prostitutes clung to the two of them like koalas, stroking their strong muscles with their hands, as if they wanted to take a bite.
"Stop talking! I know what you mean!" I waved my hand, took a bite of the lemon, and licked a mouthful of salt. Then I drank all the tequila in my hand. The spicy taste reminded me of the beautiful but spicy taste of REDBACK.
"I hope so!" The young master filled another glass of tequila for me, and this time even the worms in the bottle were poured into me.
"I am an Oriental. As long as I am with a woman, I will be responsible." I chewed the flesh of the agave worm in the wine and squeaked.
"Oh! Oh!" A group of people laughed, and even the prostitutes nearby covered their mouths and squeezed their eyes into a line.
"We are just asking you to be serious, not taking responsibility. Wouldn't REDBACK live without you being responsible?" A group of people rushed to laugh at my backward ideas. This is something I hate to talk to them about. One reason to discuss issues together.
"Xingtian! Listen. Seriousness and responsibility are two different words. Treat girls seriously. You only need to be responsible for treating the cow that was hit by your car." The pastor was wearing a cute white-collar shirt Work clothes are even more conspicuous in this environment.
"Is a cleric who engages in prostitution also qualified to teach people?" I grabbed a lemon and threw it at him, but unfortunately he dodged it.
"Japanese?" the woman in Big Bear's arms asked when she saw the whole box of large bills I took out and threw them on the table.
"Chinese!" I hate people more and more when they see me as a Japanese when they see me as rich, as if Chinese people cannot have money.
"Sorry! I..." That woman must have seen the world, and when she saw the throbbing veins on my forehead, she immediately understood what kind of mistake she had made.
"Stop saying it...it doesn't matter!" I was thinking about how to let people know at a glance that I am Chinese.
While I was throwing large rolls of banknotes to each girl, suddenly the door leading to the outer hall was banged hard, and the door panel was broken in two blows. The trigger closest to the door when they heard the first bang on the door. He threw the woman in his arms aside and stood by the door with his hand on the holster. This is the territory of the New York Mafia, and everyone who enters here must be searched to ensure that no one can bring a gun to cause trouble here. But the devil once saved the life of this godfather who couldn't survive in Italy, so we can keep two guns for self-defense.
The person who smashed the door looked very powerful. The top-grade ebony wood was quite solid. This guy smashed a hole in three times, so he was quite powerful.
After the fourth loud noise, the door panel was kicked off, and several super strong men and several well-dressed men forced their way into the private room we rented. After seeing that none of these people had firearms. They took their hands off their holsters as soon as the trigger was pulled. These people are not mercenaries, nor professional killers, nor government troops. They seem to be underworld tycoons or rich people with some status. A crowd of people rushed in with shouts and shouts, and the whole room was filled in an instant.
"What are you doing?" The knight looked at the intruding crowd in a menacing manner, apparently they were the ones causing trouble.
"You bastards want all the girls to leave. What should we do? Is it important to be rich? Disgusting Japanese!" A young man was following behind the scarred man who was talking. . He smiled contemptuously at the box of banknotes I placed on the bar. His expression seemed to reflect that of a nouveau riche from the countryside.
When I heard this guy’s words, I could do nothing but roll my eyes helplessly. It only further stimulated my desire to try my best to isolate myself from the word Japanese forever.
When seeing a group of people jealous over a prostitute, if time permits, most people will be happy to hold their arms and watch the joke for a while. But if this happened to you, you would feel that any argument over such a silly reason would be foolish. But you can't escape from other people's jealousy, just like falling into an uncontrolled spiral.
"You are making trouble unreasonably. We did not invite all the girls!" The captain put on his shirt and looked at the tall black man leading the team.
"But you took away the best!" The handsome young man who despised me just now raised his eyebrows and smiled at a girl next to me. It made the girl laugh a little. It seemed that the two of them were familiar with each other.
"Look at this...Are these guys here to compete with us for business?" A Hispanic guy dipped a little in the heroin bag on the table and put it in his mouth and smiled. He said: "80%, high purity, Chinese product!" His precise identification of drugs impressed us deeply. He could tell the purity and origin of the drug with just one taste, which is not something ordinary people can do.
"Listen! You bunch of shits, I want you to know something. This is New York! This is the United States! This is not some bullshit Japan. If you want to treat me, you'd better behave!" The scarred-faced man who entered the door conjured a knife in his hand, and flew towards my face with a flick of his wrist. I remained calm and did not move. The knife flew past my face amidst the screams of many women and pierced the dart target behind me.
"I got ten points!" The scar-faced man clapped his hands and shouted while the knife was nailed to the bull's-eye, his words full of pride and ridicule. But before he finished speaking, a huge saber accurately pierced the wide-open mouth of the bodyguard behind him. The powerful force and extremely sharp blade easily pierced the back of his head, nailing him to the broken door panel.
"This... is ten!" The butcher smiled and rubbed his hands while walking to the front of the team, his eyes fiercely scanning the frightened faces of the others.
"Fuck!" Others who woke up from the accident rushed forward to take action, but their bodies stopped in front of the trigger and the cowboy's gun.
"I'm happy to kill you all!" The cowboy punched through the wrists of the two strong men holding swords. He said with squinted eyes and a flushed face.
"Demeanor! Demeanor! Gentlemen!" I pulled out the Scorpion jumping knife from the target behind me, walked to the middle of the crowd and threw it on the coffee table in front of me: "Let's use the gentleman's point. How about we resolve this dispute? Don’t just come up and kill everyone. We are civilized people.”
“What do you want when these people see us with guns in our hands?” Then I realized why we were able to call all the beauties in the whole club. This is not something we can do just by having money. Several experienced characters shook their heads in a sophisticated manner and asked.
"As usual! One-on-one!" I took off my shirt to reveal my strong muscles, and pointed to the knife on the ground: "Twenty people. One knife! I lost. You can take it with you. All women, let’s accept your bodyguard’s death and make any demands. How about you take your poor friend and get out of our sight?”
How about you guys? , I watched you discuss it for a while, and then they all nodded in agreement with my opinion. While they were discussing who should take action, the trigger suddenly shot twice in the thigh of a small man in a suit hiding in the crowd, startling everyone.
After the broken mobile phone parts slipped out of his trouser legs, Trigger smiled and said: "You shouldn't set sounds for the phone buttons. My headphones work very well!"
< p> The prostitutes already knew that the situation before them could not be improved, so they gathered in the corner of the room and looked at us silently. Neither party deserves to be offended.The only thing they can do now is to pretend to be pitiful. When either party wins, they can find excuses for their actions.
"I'll do it!" The handsome young man tilted his head to a bodyguard behind him, and the tall, muscular man with a crew cut stood up. After taking off his shirt to reveal his muscles, the strange tattoos on his throat and upper eyelids are particularly conspicuous.
"That's a tattoo from Petak Prison in Russia, where Russia's most vicious criminals are imprisoned. Very few can come out at a grade where they can still stand and pee." TATTOO is an expert in the tattoo industry. You can tell the origin of this strong man from his tattoos at a glance.
I smiled and nodded. Looking at the numerous scars on the man's body, it seemed that this guy also had brilliant achievements in battle.
"Come on! You Japanese bastard! Today I will let you and your damn Japanese cars see what pain is!" The big man pointed at me and threatened with hatred on his face. I wanted to laugh out loud at that time, but I didn't expect that this guy hated the Japanese because of their cars. It seems that Japan's economic invasion has made many enemies in the world.
"First of all, I want to declare that I am not a Yakuza..." I watched the strong man suddenly rush to the coffee table while I was opening my mouth to speak, and with lightning speed, he reached out and grabbed it. tree knife on the table. When his hand touched the handle of the knife, a smile appeared on his pitted face.
"Secondly..." I didn't grab the knife. Instead, I rushed to the side of the coffee table. I raised my fists and pointed them at him while he was leaning over to draw the knife. Staring at the knife, he punched the forward head. The guy heard the wind in his ear and realized that I didn't grab the knife at all. When he realized that he had been deceived and wanted to withdraw his hands to protect me, it was already too late. My unsuspecting temple was literally nailed to the table. The thick ebony coffee table couldn't withstand my strength, and I screamed, holding this guy's head between my arms and falling down. The idiot who was punched to the table by me had his entire face deformed. Two eyeballs the size of ping pong balls were pushed out of their sockets by the huge force. The bridge of his nose was severed from the middle, and his yellow and white brains were squeezed out of the eye sockets. gush. The originally angular square face was beaten into a gourd shape by me, and he died on the spot without even farting. One hit to kill! The body is the murder weapon! This is the difference between a professional soldier and a professional recidivist.
"Secondly, I am not Japanese!" I pulled out the collar of a man in a suit who was staying at the scene, wiped the brains and bone residue on his fists and said lightly.
"A beautiful blow!" The knight reluctantly took out an ancient gold coin from his collection from the ninth century with the statue of the Anglo-Saxon King Kong Wolf on it and handed it to Tu Tian who was behind him with a rather proud smile on his face. .
"Do you have my share of the dividend?" I deliberately ignored the enemy in front of me and made a money-grubbing expression.
"You don't know the goods! It's useless to give it to you!" The butcher deliberately rubbed the gold coin, which was already shining like new, on his sleeve in front of the knight, then looked at it for a long time, and clicked his tongue. He praised it loudly and threw it into his unzipped jacket pocket. Before he finished, he patted the bottom of the bag gently and let out a satisfied sigh. The knight with red eyes was so angry that he wanted to tear his face apart.
"We admit defeat!" The young master changed his tyrannical attitude under my domineering blow, and said with a solemn expression: "But I hope to understand whose hands we lost."
"Actually, I am a Yakuza from China!" I smiled and bowed to him. This gesture almost represents China abroad.
"Ok! I remembered it!" The young man expressed relief, waved his hand and asked his men to lift the body of his bodyguard and remove the other dead man nailed to the door, and took the lead to walk out of the room.
"Able to bend and stretch, with the air of a general! The future is limitless!" Da Xiong said looking at the young man's back.
"That's right! I don't like enemies with unlimited futures!" The assassin's profound words labeled the young man death.
Looking at the crowd going away. After a while, club security guards, who were a step late, rushed into the room accompanied by the boss, filling the room again. Looking at the mess all over the ground, it’s hard to get upset if these people know our details. However, some complaints were inevitable, which made everyone lose interest in having fun. The devil was left to deal with them there, and the others returned to the young master's house in despair.
Along the way, I looked at these white people with tall noses and green eyes in the car. When I arrived at the young master’s house, I suddenly asked them impulsively: "Is there any way for others to recognize that I am not Japanese at a glance?" "Human?"
TATT00 turned around and shouted to me from a distance: "Let me tattoo five words on your face - I am Chinese!" I can tell at a glance that you are not Japanese!"
Everyone took his words as a joke, but I was moved. A bold idea sprouted in my mind, and I took a peek at REDBACK, who was still angry that I carried her to the brothel. While she wasn't paying attention, I pulled TATTOO and ran into an empty cabin.
Seeing my mysterious look, TATTOO also approached me with a curious look on his face and asked in a very cooperative voice: "What secrets do you want to share with me?"
< p> "No! I want you to give me a tattoo!" I gave the answer."Tattoo? Come on, everyone. Xingtian wants a tattoo! Everyone...well!..." TATTOO was stunned for a moment, then laughed and rushed out of the room to share this ridiculous topic with everyone.
"What's wrong? What's your name? Is there something wrong with you?" I grabbed the kid and covered his yelling mouth.
"Of course! Hahaha!" TATTOO was still laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe. He pointed at me and held his stomach for a while before saying intermittently: "Do you remember what you said when you first saw me?"
"Remember!" I blushed a little because I remembered What was said at that time.
"My mother said that people with tattoos are not good people! Hahaha!" TATTOO imitated it vividly, even the expressions were very similar, making me look like a kindergarten baby. After saying that, there was another wild laugh.
"Is this so funny?" I looked at TATTOO, who was laughing so hard, and once again lamented the difference between the minds of Eastern and Western people. Apart from being a little embarrassing, there was nothing funny about it. I don’t know what this bastard enjoys.
"Of course! You said so emphatically at that time that you would never collude with me. You must draw a clear line resolutely. Have you forgotten? How long did it take for you to give up your integrity so quickly? "Although TATTOO said mocking words to me, his hands were not idle. He took my arm and kept stroking my skin. He looked at me like a woman picking pork at the vegetable market.
"Yes! I want to get a tattoo so that I can recognize at a glance that I am Chinese!" I think this question is quite serious.
"What tattoo? Where?" TATTOO nodded to my skin with satisfaction, like a madam buying a girl in a human flesh market.
"Tattoo here!" I pointed to my shaved temples with horse mane: "The sideburns!"
"Yo! Cool! I know how to pick a spot." TATTOO was excited. He looked at me as if he knew me for the first time: "What kind of tattoo?"
"Dragon and five-star red flag!" I said decisively.
Three hours later, when I walked out of the room, everyone in the room looked at me dumbfounded, and the devil dropped the wine glass on the ground without even holding it firmly. After a while, everyone gathered around me, staring at the tattoos on my temples from all angles, making strange noises.
REDBACK walked up to me, held my face, and used his fingers to trace along the black line the five-star red flag that was riddled with bullet holes and burned from my forehead to the back of my neck. After looking at it for a long time, he said one word: "Cool!"
(To be continued, please stay tuned~)
- Related articles
- Bold prediction-financial crisis?
- Bad examples and jokes caused by typos and mispronunciations should not be Hemingway's.
- ◆◆◆◆ How to write the Tibetan name "Langkagyatso"? Please give clear text! ! ◆◆◆
- Always have negative thoughts? Get rid of it with the "ABCDE" method!
- How to send a circle of friends when you are green?
- Did Ma Dashuai 2 Xiuer and Chuanwu finally get together?
- Classic funny wedding sentences
- Why did Yiya kill her son in the Spring and Autumn Period?
- What's the use of writing your own lyrics? What characteristics and styles should be possessed.
- Humorous jokes that make people laugh.