Humorous jokes that make people laugh.

Humorous jokes that make people laugh.

1, the boy was dazzled by this and was about to ask, when the old lady next to him scolded, "mb is so awesome to play with a rock, paper, scissors!"

Mom called me today and asked me: Son, did you live alone on August 15th this year?

I said, mom, will you stop it? Do you know how many people are chasing me? I have done it myself, and I do it in batches every day!

My mother said, son, this is what my mother wants from you. You are ugly, you want to be beautiful, and you can play when no one is chasing you!

2. If you say that a female college student goes to a nightclub to accompany wine at night, it doesn't sound good, but if you say that a nightclub girl insists on going to college during the day, it will be full of positive energy.

So when you speak, the order is particularly important.

The young monk asked the master, master, can I smoke while chanting? The master replied angrily: No.

The young monk asked again, what about chanting when I smoke? Master was very happy to hear that.

I want to sleep with you. It's a hooligan. I want to get up with you. It's Xu Zhimo. The order is really important.

Reporter: Grandpa, you are so flexible and energetic. What's the secret of staying young?

Grandpa: Get up early, stay up late, and have three meals a day on time!

Reporter: Ah? Grandpa, what do you do?

Grandpa: I'm a conductor!

Reporter: How old are you this year?

Grandpa took a deep breath of his cigarette and looked at the sky: it's almost 30!

A traffic accident happened on my way to school this morning. Soon the police came to the scene,

Q: How did you hit the bank with your car?

Driver: I just drove a little fast and almost hit the wall. Suddenly I saw a sign next to it that said? No parking? So I didn't dare to stop and hit.

The policeman's uncle has a black line on his face. ....

4. Once upon a time, there were three monks. The boss told him not to know, the second called him a kitchen knife, and the third called him trouble. One day, I went to the supermarket to buy a bottle of coke, but he forgot to bring money and was arrested by the police. The boss took the second child to the police station, and the police asked him who he was. Eldest brother said he didn't know, and the police asked him again, but he still said he didn't know. Later, he said that I brought a kitchen knife to make trouble, and the police knelt down and begged for mercy.

How much is the movie Big Brother?

B: 15 yuan

A: How expensive is it? Can you make it cheaper?

B: Sticker film 15 yuan, and the sticker is free.

A: Great. Do I have a film?

B:

In winter, my wife knitted a sweater for me, leaving a ball of wool, and knitted a vest for my dog. Walking the dog in a sweater in the morning, I was puzzled when I saw someone looking at me and pointing at me in the distance. Just ask a colleague, and the colleague talked about it with a smile. At this moment, his granddaughter said, Grandpa, your sweater is the same as that of a dog. Is it a couple sweater?

A small fruit thief was caught by the police, and the thief explained that he had just stolen 10 Jin of apples. As for catching them? The policeman said:? A monkey stole a peach and was locked up for 500 years! ?

6、? Mr. Li, your courier will arrive soon. It was paid by the other party. It's 300 yuan. Please prepare cash! ?

? Ok, I'm ready to cook. Please bring me a catty of tofu. They are sold in the supermarket at the gate. Collection! ?

7. When I went to a restaurant with my wife, I had a whim and secretly asked her if she wanted to eat a king's meal. She nodded nervously and excitedly. So I grabbed some of her hair and threw it into the soup when people weren't looking. Needless to say, it is really effective. The shopkeeper was afraid to accept money when he saw that my wife beat me all over with blood.

A Dai's mother told A Dai that she was going to be a guest. Adults are not at home, you should watch the door! ?

A Dai readily promised: Don't worry! ?

Shortly after mom went out, Zhuzi, a neighbor's playmate, came to him and said that the village chief was acting. Let's go and have a look. ?

? My mother asked me to watch the door, so I can't go. ? A Dai said seriously.

The pillar looked at it and said mysteriously, let's take the door away and take it to the theater. ?

A Dai thought for a moment:? Yes! I watched the door and the play again, which really killed two birds with one stone. ?

So, the two men found tools and had a lot of trouble before they removed the door and happily carried it to the theater.

9.a: My procrastination is getting worse.

B: Can't this problem be cured?

A: It is said that some people have studied it and found that procrastination is difficult to cure.

B: Why?

A: Most patients refuse to receive treatment.

10, I took the bus in the morning and quarreled with the driver, because he was smoking while driving, but the reason for the quarrel was that I borrowed a lighter from him, and he told me that smoking was forbidden in the car!

1 1. In ancient times, robbery was like this: I opened this mountain and planted this tree. If you want to live from now on, stay and buy the fare! ? How rude and barbaric the language is! After thousands of years of civilization baptism, in modern society, language has become civilized and friendly: 500 meters in front of the toll station, please slow down, please get a license for parking, please pay, thank you for your cooperation! I wish you a safe journey. How civilized and polite! Facts tell us: hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture!

An old man beat Tai Ji Chuan in the park, which was very powerful.

A young man looked envious: Uncle kung fu is so good, how did he practice it?

The old man said: ancestral kung fu! I stand still and try to hit me with your best strength! ?

So the young man punched the old man hard, and what happened? It's fifty-six thousand! When you are not at home, remember three words:

1, curiosity killed the cat!

2. If you don't die, you will not die!

It's not that the old people are getting worse now, but that the former hooligans are getting old!

The so-called: heroes don't ask the source, hooligans don't ask the age! Hmm. How interesting

12, an old man said, "Huashan talked about swords that day. First, he smashed my seventy-two empty fists with his charming palm; Then I hit the dragon with eighteen palms instead, but it didn't prevent him from reaching out the index finger and middle finger of his right hand. In fact, the six-pulse Excalibur Shang Yang Jian and Zhong Chong Jian are better than me. It can be seen that the martial arts in the world contain each other, and the martial arts are mysterious! " . For more related articles, please add Chen Anzhi WeChat caz7966, and update classic articles such as inspirational, sales, management and business war cases for you every day to learn for free. This WeChat has changed the lives of millions of people. Welcome to join us.

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