What are some funny jokes?

1. One day on the bus, a man and a woman collided due to crowding.

The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?"

The man felt confused and replied, "Do you have any medicine?"

In the car People snickered!

The woman felt angry and replied: "Are you mentally ill?"

The man said coldly: "Can you cure it?"

Everyone in the car Hilarious!

The bus driver stopped and leaned on the steering wheel laughing!

2. The bus was overcrowded, and there was a woman standing at the door.

A GG squeezed in from behind the bus and wanted to get off.

Follow the woman After saying "Give way and get out of the car," the woman didn't move at all.

GG stepped on her when he squeezed past.

The woman turned out to be very powerful. She kept scolding, "You're a psycho! You're a psycho!~~" and she was so loud that the whole car looked at her.

GG didn't say anything. When he got off the car, he couldn't bear it any longer. He turned around and said to the woman, "Your repeater!"

Everyone in the car burst into laughter~!

There were a few funny children behind, constantly accompanying the scene just now.

A said, "You are crazy!"...B said, "You are repeating the machine." "Yeah you"...

Everyone in the car burst into laughter~!

Later, a little girl also wanted to get off the car, squeezed past and timidly said, "Oh~ I~ If I think about it, I’m not crazy~! "

Everyone in the car burst into laughter again~!

The woman did not speak, but a sentence came from the side: "Are you out of battery?"

Everyone in the car burst into laughter~!

3. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Chief, the soldier is even darker! The chest said: How well you have trained these muscles! Soldier: Report to the commander, I am a female soldier

4. The miser was out for something and was afraid that someone would drink the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper. ：I spit in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few words on the note: I also spit out!

5. Late one night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep at night. , so I sent a text message to a sister who lives with me: "I am depressed, please chat with me for a while." After a while, my sister replied: "Okay, what do you want to talk about? The topic is up to you." I thought about it and replied happily. Said: "Then let's talk about a heavier topic, for example - your weight!" After a while of silence, the sister texted back, which read: "This is too heavy. Then let's talk about something superficial." Well, for example - your IQ!"

6. The miser went out for something, and was afraid that others would secretly drink the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I spit in the cup Phlegm. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I spit out it too!

7. A primary school student confessed to his long-awaited teacher, but the teacher said it was wrong, but he didn’t. Listen. Finally, the teacher couldn't bear it and said: I don't want any children. The pupil said: I will be careful!

8. Once, GIN and Vodka went to hunt deer in the mountains. The greedy two of them hunted two deer each. When we were going back, we had to take a plane. The captain said worriedly: "With so many deer, we will be overweight!" Both of them said disdainfully: "What are you afraid of? We also shot so many deer last year and we still flew back here!" The captain couldn't resist them, so he had to let them get on the plane.

The plane flew smoothly for a while, then suddenly started to shake, and finally fell down. The two of them got up with their faces covered in ash. Vodka looked around and whispered to GIN: "Boss, it seems that we also fell here last year!"

9. A certain mental hospital heard that the leaders were coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the director called a meeting with the patients.

The director said: "This afternoon, very important leaders are coming to visit. All are welcome at the door.

During the welcome, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate and stood neatly. When I coughed, everyone applauded together, the more enthusiastically the better; When stamping your feet, you must all stop, and no one can make a mistake. As long as everyone is ready,

You can eat meat buns for everyone tonight. If one person messes up, everyone will have no buns to eat. Remember

? "The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember! ”

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the door, the welcoming patients were already standing at the door.

At this time, as the director coughed, All the patients applauded and the atmosphere was very warm. Infected by the warm atmosphere, they applauded with everyone and walked into the hospital.

In the hospital, the dean stamped his foot, and all the applause stopped. Only the leader was still applauding with a smile on his face

The dean was very satisfied. Suddenly, a sick man as strong as Schwarzenegger emerged from the welcoming crowd. He strode up to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face, and shouted angrily - —“You don’t want to eat steamed buns anymore? ! ! ! ”

10. One day a mother fly and her son had lunch together

The son asked the mother fly: Why do we eat poop every day

The mother fly was angry Said: Don’t say such disgusting words while eating, eat while it’s hot!!

11. One night, a naked man hailed a taxi. The female driver stared at him intently, and the naked man was furious. , shouted: You have never seen a fucking naked man! The female driver was also furious: Let me see where you got the money from!

12. The night was dark and windy, and Zhu Bajie was on the moon with Chang'e. My sister was kissing me, and suddenly a black shadow passed by. Zhu Bajie hurriedly chased me with a nail rake. After a while, he came back and said: Damn it, Yang Liwei...

13. The earthworm family was very bored today. The little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. Mother Earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Dad Earthworm thought about it. Thinking about it, he cut himself into minced meat. Mother Earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" It will kill you if you cut it into pieces like this! "Earthworm's father said weakly: "...I suddenly wanted to play football

14. A gambler took 1,000 yuan from home to gamble. A few hours later, he came back.

His wife hurriedly asked: "Has that big bill 'given birth' to a baby?"