Funny and educational skits

Short sketch ~ Idiot ~

The phone rang and the teacher was looking for the phone. He looked around and couldn’t find it. Suddenly he thought about it and took off his shoes to use as a phone and answered it)

Teacher: This phone smells quite strong. Hello, who is this?

Backstage: *Teacher, it’s me, ***

Teacher: Oh, it turns out to be Teacher *, ah, what’s going on?

Backstage: *Teacher, how did you go about troubling you?

Teacher: (think about it) What is it?

Backstage: It’s about teaching my son to read.

Teacher: Oh, I know that. This matter is very difficult to handle.

Backstage: If there is any difficulty, you can teach my son a word and I will pay you 5,000 yuan.

Teacher: Okay, okay, you ask him to come over right away.

Backstage: He has come out. (The fool appears)

Teacher: What is your name?

Silly: I don’t know.

Teacher: (said secretly) He is a fool.

Silly: You are the fool.

Teacher: Come here and learn how to read. (write a word) pronounce "a".

Silly: Bah.

Teacher: "a". (emphasis added)

Silly: Bah.

Teacher: "a". (Shout loudly)

Silly: Bah. (He even drooled out)

Teacher: You are so stupid if you don’t even know this word. Fool, come here. What do you know yourself?

Silly: I can sing and dance.

Teacher: (He can sing? He can also dance, I don’t believe it) Okay, then you can sing a song for the teacher.

Stupid: (singing a pornographic song)

Teacher: Stop, stop, sing some nonsense, forget it, let’s dance.

Silly: Play music! (Dancing erotically)

Teacher: Okay, okay, what kind of dance is this? Is it simply to seduce the teacher’s sexual desire, or is the teacher teaching you how to read? Come and teach you a common word: pronounce "bei"! (The fool remained silent)

Teacher: (Talking to himself) You can’t even pronounce the word "quiet" in the quilt. You fool, what do you **** have on your bed every night when you sleep?

Stupid: It’s ***

Teacher: Apart from ***, what is *** about?

Silly: It’s my dad.

Teacher: What’s on dad’s body?

Silly: It’s the two legs of ***.

Teacher: What about the quilt on your bed?

Silly: *** threw it to the ground.

Teacher: I won’t make any more of these five thousand yuan. (Turns around and walks away)

Silly: Do you think I don’t know this word? I just won’t say it. If I do, I’ll give you five thousand yuan! Call me stupid, I am stupid in but not stupid out. (Excitedly)

Idiots go to school

The phone rings!

A: It’s class, it’s class.

B: Hey, class is on, class is on, hurry up, class is on.

A: Hello, monitor.

B: Hello, I heard that our class has a new teacher, and she is a woman.

A: It doesn’t matter if she’s a boy or a girl, just drive her away when she comes.

B: Yeah.

C: Hey, how are you two?

AB: Good morning!

C: You’re here so early. Hey, did you hear that our class has a new class teacher?

AB: I know, I know, I’ve known it for a long time.

C: Oh, and she’s a woman.

AB: I know it, I know it.

C: Hey, how about we stay and tidy her up. Give her a nickname.

A: Oh, yes, yes, this is a good idea. What kind of nickname is that?

C: Oh, it’s called morning glory.

A: Morning glory, too vulgar, too vulgar, too vulgar.

B: Is this good? Let's nickname her Old Hen.

A: Ah, old hen.

B: Yeah.

A: Bird flu is very serious now. Still, you dare to call me an old hen.

C: That’s right.

B: Well, let’s just call her an old maid.

AC: OK, OK~~~~~

A: This is good, this is good, this is good.

B: This is a good idea. Will you call me later? (Pointing to C)

C: I won’t scream.

B: Then you call (pointing to A)

A: I won’t call either.

B: Then you don’t bark, and she doesn’t bark either, so who will?

C: Oh, yes, the fool will come later, let him bark.

B: Oh, good idea, good idea.

A: This is a good idea.

B: Fool, it’s class, it’s class, it’s class.

D: Here we go. (Appears in a sexy dance)~~Why are you laughing? I’ve never seen a handsome guy before

A: Hey, hey, you idiot.

D: Yeah.

A: Our class has a new teacher. We nicknamed her Spinster. When she comes, call her.

D: I won’t bark.

A: Why?

D: You always lie to me. Every time I open my mouth, you shut it.

A: No, I won’t lie to you this time.

BC: Yes.

A: We all yelled together.

BC: Yeah.

D: Won’t you lie to me this time?

ABC: Well, that’s right, I won’t lie to you this time. Call together.

D: Okay, let’s shout together.

E: Hello everyone, I am the new class teacher. I heard that students in this class are particularly difficult to teach, but I am very caring and I will use my love to influence them. Hello, classmates!

ABCD: Old.

D: Virginity is good.

E: Which little classmate called the teacher an old maid? Please step forward. (ABC steps back together)~~Little classmate, please stand up.

D: Yeah.

E: Little classmate, stand still.

D: Teacher: The ground is uneven.

E: Little classmate, you know what an old maid is.

D: My father said that people who have not been dealt with are called spinsters.

E: I am confident and patient. Little classmate, please go to the office with your teacher.

D: What?

E: The teacher treats you to chocolate.

D: Really?

E: Really, come on.

D: Yeah, let’s go eat some chocolate.

B: Hey, is this called an old maid eating chocolate?

C: Yes, I would have known what our names were.

A: That’s right.

E: I’ll treat you to chocolates, Dove’s, Jindi’s. Eat and eat until you’re full. (come out) I never punish my students corporally. Little classmate, you can come out now.

D: Here we go (dancing).

B: Hey, what’s wrong with you? Fool.

C: Fool, are you okay?

D: The teacher beats people.

ABC: Let’s see, let’s see.

A: Ouch, the injury is not serious?

B: Wasn’t the beating gentle?

E: Sit tight, class is about to begin. The teacher will give you the first lesson, teaching you how to read a Chinese character. Please all students read it with me and see it clearly. bei~~

ABC: bei

D: pei

E: bei

ABC: bei

D: pei

E: Little classmate, please stand up. The teacher thinks that your pronunciation is not standard, so I will teach you individually so that you can hear it clearly, bei.

D: pei

E: The quilt of the quilt.

D: Matching match.

E: Junior classmate, the teacher thinks that not only your pronunciation is not standard, but there may be something wrong with your brain? Teacher, let me enlighten you. Do you have a bed at home?

D: Yes.

E: What is that on the bed?

D: Bed sheets.

E: What is that on the bed sheet?

D: My mother.

E: What’s on your mother’s head?

D: My dad.

E: What’s on your dad’s head?

D: No more.

E: What about your quilts?

D: I was kicked to the bed by them. (E hits D, and D comes back from dancing)

E: What kind of student is this? I'm so angry. Come here and take a seat.

D: Okay.

E: Next, the teacher will teach you the second lesson. Come on, little students, please stand up.

D: Why is it me again?

E: The teacher asked you an arithmetic question, what is one plus one?

D: One plus one equals two. Smart?

E: What are you so smart about? What does three plus three equal?

D: (Counting on fingers) Three plus three equals six.

E: Oh, that’s a good answer, little classmate. But you are so old that you can no longer crack your fingers. You need to do mental arithmetic, you know? Come and put your hands in your pants pockets. Put it in. The teacher asks you another question, what is five plus five?

D: equal to eleven.

E: Which one will equal eleven? Take him out and do the math again. Crack your fingers.

D: Why is it equal to ten?

E: Ten is enough.

D: Teacher, isn’t that right? If I take it, it will equal ten, and if I put it in, it will equal eleven.

E: Look, that sister is laughing at you.

D: Sister, you are always laughing. Are you laughing your ass off? You can't count to eleven even in your lifetime?

E: (Hit him) Sister, don’t be angry, he is a stupid uncle. Come here and take a seat.

D: Okay. (Dancing erotically)

E: Next, the teacher will teach you the third lesson and ask you a couplet. Which student can answer please raise your hand. Please listen clearly, the first couplet is: Nantongzhou, Beitongzhou, North and South Tongzhou can north and south. Which little student can answer? Okay, is it just you, a female classmate, who can answer?

A: Pawnshops in the East pawnshops in the West, pawnshops in the East pawnshops in the West.

E: Oh, that’s a good answer. Is there any other students who can raise their hands to answer? Little classmate, if you raise your hand, you can answer. Come on, please stand up and answer.

D: What is the answer?

E: Answer the couplet.

D: What couplet?

E: The first couplet is: Nantongzhou and Beitongzhou, and North and South Tongzhou can lead to north and south.

D: Male students are female students, and male students are male students.

E: It rhymes, that’s a good answer. Come on, teacher, let me ask you another question? Fragrant flowers are not red, red flowers are not fragrant, but roses are red and fragrant.

D: Loud farts don’t stink, smelly farts don’t make a sound, serial farts stink and are loud at the same time.

E: Monitor, no spanking.

D: Nice guy, thank you.

E: Oh, I don’t believe it’s difficult for you. The teacher will ask you one more question? The big fish eats the small fish, the small fish eats the scared rice, and the scared rice eats water, and the truth comes out.

D: Haha! Your husband presses you, you press the bed, the bed presses the ground, and the earth shakes. (E hits D) I answered all the questions correctly, and you still hit me?

E: What kind of student are you? It pisses me off. Come here and take a seat.

D: Okay (dance)

E: Monitor, you see the school anniversary is coming soon, what program has our class prepared?

B: What we prepare for teachers is recitation.

E: First let’s recite one.

B: Okay, first of all we recited "Chunxiao" for the teacher. Spring sleep without dawn.

A: I hear singing birds everywhere.

C: The sound of wind and rain at night.

D: A young girl becomes a sister-in-law.

E: (Hit D) It has changed. Do you still want to change?

D: Why did you hit me?

E: Who taught you?

D: The squad leader taught me. You hammer, my mother, you lied to me again.

E: Come here, take a seat.

D: (dancing) Okay.

E: Monitor, this one doesn’t work, how about another one?

B: Okay, boil the beans and burn the green beans.

A: Beans are crying in the cauldron.

C: Originally from the same roots.

D: Brother-in-law picks up aunt.

E: Bubble Bubble (hit D).

D: Why do you keep hitting me?

E: Something went wrong as soon as I arrived at your place? Come here and take a seat.

D: Okay (dancing)

E: Monitor, this one doesn’t work, how about another one?

B: There is also a chorus.

E: That’s okay, let’s all sing one.

B: Everyone stand up and get up early in the morning to prepare for singing.

ABCD: Get up early in the morning, the air is good.

D: I saw the teacher taking a shower. Two boobs, bouncing and jumping~~Following the wind!

E: Piao Piao, I see you are still Piao Piao.

D: Why don’t you sing?

E: (D) Why do you always play tricks on the teacher?

ABC: Teacher, please stop fighting, the principal is here.

E: The principal is here.

ABC: Fool, run away. (End)