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Any funny jokes now?

2012 Latest Collection of Bad Jokes

1 After Confucius, Mencius and Laozi slept in the pig pen for a night, they found that the sow was pregnant. DNA testing proved that it was definitely not the case. What Confucius did was not done by Mencius. May I ask: Who did it? . .

2 Q group chatted, talking about borrowing arrows from straw boats, why Cao Cao didn’t release rockets. A person who was a good group leader explained to the children: This is an article written casually by Shi Naian for the development of the plot... and then N worshiping QQ emoticons, saying that the group leader is so awesome and I admire you so much. ...Finally, a young man said: Group leader nb, Shi Naian wrote about Water Margin. The group was quiet for a while, and QQ showed that the member was removed from the group by the administrator...

3 There is a boy in the class who is too ugly, really ugly. I often stare at him in class and think: Why are there such ugly people in the world? Unexpectedly, he told others everywhere that I liked him...

4 As always, I received text messages from scammers during the Chinese New Year. . only. . This time he got excited and had a fight with me - -. . . . I feel like I violated his beautiful heart. .

5 It’s a tragedy when there is one more word in a classic: Diary of a Madman, Don’t Be Gay, Harry Potter, The Big Bang, Swan Jumping into the Lake, Twilight City Manager , When Happiness Comes to Knock on the Anus, Authentic Field Battle, Camellia **, Death Will Never Come, The Three Hundred Warriors of Sparta, Legend of Martial Arts Affair, Doraemon, Happiness is Like a Chrysanthemum, The Brothel of Notre Dame de Paris, On Protracted Field War. . .

6 A classmate asked me loudly while I was eating: "Why do you wash your hands every time you finish eating?" I answered him inexplicably: "Wash your hands before eating and after using the toilet"~< /p>

7 Dad said: "Why do your answer sheets now look like lottery tickets?" Answer: "In fact, they are similar in nature...~"

8 Every time I get sick, I go for infusion and deliberately I asked the nurse sister what the rubber tube tied to her wrist was... just to hear "tourniquet"...

ps: Yeah, destroy the disc?

9 The exam is coming soon. . Please be possessed by Kobe Bryant, who scored 81 points in a single subject, be possessed by the Rockets, and fail 22 subjects in a row, be possessed by Tracy McGrady, damn, he can score 13 points in 35 seconds. . Ah ha ha ha ha. . . . . . . . . .

At the 14th concert, a buddy excitedly took the microphone and said to the star on the stage: I am your most loyal fan. I have attended almost every one of your concerts, and today I finally waited. Chance! Can you take a picture with my girlfriend? The star felt very touched and agreed without hesitation. Then the guy happily asked the audience: Great, then among all the beauties, who wants to be my girlfriend?

15 Various Japanese translations of dreams - having a sister; destiny - not having a sister; marriage - how to have a sister; mission - playing with a girl; fate - killing his sister; hello - Your sister; I'm sorry - hook up with her; no - hit her; don't - press her; don't - press her father; no problem - a man with cute big breasts; lonely - awesome~~~~~ (Note: Please pronounce "xi" long)

16 During evening self-study, if the teacher hears a classmate's cell phone ringing, he should give that classmate a look of encouragement, support and affirmation. Because the cell phone is still charged during self-study in the evening, which fully shows that this person is affirmative of the teacher, the school, and the education cause. . .

17 It is illegal to deduct points from students in exams. The Criminal Law stipulates that the act of taking advantage of others' ignorance to cause losses to others is a crime of fraud.

18 Just now a child said that China’s four great classics are "Journey to the West", "A Dream of Red Mansions", "The Palace" and "Legend of Sword and Fairy", which made me very worried about the future of the motherland. It is terrible to be uneducated. He Have you ever taken "Huan Zhuge Ge" seriously? ! ! !

On the afternoon of the 19th, I had dinner with my husband at the company. My husband checked my mobile phone on a whim and found that the name of his caller was "My second-hand guy". He asked me excitedly: "I only rank second in your heart! Who is the best?" The people eating around me and I burst into laughter. It turns out that husband, you are really the best. . .

20 Female: I already have a boyfriend. Man: I don’t mind, I still like you. Comments from others - Such an infatuated man. Man: I already have a girlfriend. Woman: I don’t mind, I still like you. Other people’s comments – rub it! Shameless mistress.

21 Boss: "I sell socks! They cost three yuan a pair!" Me: "It's cheaper, three pairs for ten yuan!" Boss: "I can't sell them even if I pay more than that. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Inside, he said to Princess Baihua: "Madam, I have captured Tang Seng. If you eat his flesh, you can live forever! Princess Baihua took a look and wondered: "Why are there seven?" "The strange man in yellow robe said: "You should probably take seven to count as one course of treatment..." What the hell do you mean by being ripped off? If you want to break up, just tell me! If you don’t want to break up, just come back! ---It’s so quiet in McDonald’s...

24 A man said narcissistically: "I want to be a woman in my next life and marry a man like me!" A girl then said: "In that case, you will ruin your two lives." (

28 After research, I discovered the secret of McDonald’s: buy a cheese egg for 6 yuan, and then buy a double-layered pork fillet for 13 yuan. If you stuff a piece of pork fillet into the cheese egg, you will get a A 13-yuan pork fillet egg and a 10-yuan pork fillet package, I actually won four dollars!

29 Yesterday, I went to the marriage agency to register for marriage, and my aunt asked me to fill in the marriage requirements. After thinking for a long time, I mentioned two things: women and live ones. The aunt glanced at her and said coldly: You are not young yet, why are you still so demanding?

30 The exam is not about playing Dota. , please don’t work in a team~ Classic

31 I was talking about housing prices with my colleagues at noon yesterday. I also said: Housing prices are so expensive now. If I had a piece of land, it would be really prosperous! He said: If you had a piece of land! Oh, I’ll accept you as my godfather right away! Just after I finished speaking, the girl at the front desk called me: You have a delivery! . . . . . . . . .

32 It is said that a Chinese man fell to the ground and smashed it into pieces...~

33 While walking, I suddenly saw a fortune-telling stall on the street, so I decided to tease the fortune-teller. As soon as the man walked over, the fortune-teller said, "You have two sons." The man said, "Haha, how do you know. I actually have three sons." The fortune teller smiled and said, "Haha, how do you know?"~

34 The female colleague was eating ice cream, and the male colleague said to her: "Can you look intoxicated? Take the picture and post it on Weibo." She said, "Okay! But remember to mosaic it." The next day, she asked her male colleague angrily: "Who told you to mosaic it?"

35 There was a caterpillar that was bored on the tree and plucked out its hairs one by one! After plucking it out, it looked at it and said, "Oh, my skin is so good." Before he could finish his words, another caterpillar pulled it out. The caterpillar kicked down the tree: You damn earthworm, don’t think that you will become a caterpillar when you climb up the tree!