How to catch other people's jokes without embarrassment when communicating with others?

I feel uncomfortable when I get to a crowded place. I don't know how to talk to strangers and how to respond to other people's jokes.

If you have similar confusion, please read on.

Say it one by one.

Let's start with the first one.

It is a common phenomenon to feel uncomfortable in crowded places. Unless you are a veteran or a child prodigy, most people will show some discomfort. Let me tell you a few basic principles: 1. The less experienced people are, the more likely they are to feel uncomfortable; 2. People with weak social skills are prone to discomfort; 3. The grander the scene, the higher the specifications, and the more likely it is not suitable; The more people are in the focus of the crowd, the more likely they are to feel uncomfortable. 5. The most crucial point! People who don't match the group temperament are prone to discomfort.

1 point is common in teenagers with little experience; The second point is common in otaku and nerd, with low emotional intelligence; The third point is common to ordinary people and has never seen the world; Points 4 and 5 apply to everyone.

No matter how slow and inarticulate people are, they are still "crazy" when they are with their relatives and friends. The problem is that we often have to deal with strangers in our lives and need to enter unfamiliar people. Then the problem is no longer "feeling uncomfortable in crowded places" itself, but "learning how to deal with strangers"

Let's look at the second rule.

Talking is the most economical, quickest and most convenient way to deal with strangers. When we meet for the first time, we often give priority to greeting. To put it bluntly, it is to enhance mutual understanding through harmless nonsense, achieve the purpose of getting familiar with each other, and lay the foundation for further communication in the future.

Everyone must have heard of this technique: talking about the weather. Weather is a good topic to break the deadlock. Generally speaking, after introducing yourself and breaking the deadlock, it is time to exchange information. Here I offer two tips, which are very useful.

The first technique is to find similarities. It is an eternal social truth that birds of a feather flock together. If we can find the same hobbies, ideas and values, we can often get closer to each other quickly, from "strangers" to "acquaintances" and even "ignoring acquaintances", with remarkable results.

What? You said you didn't have any hobbies, specialties, or special ideas or opinions. How do you find similarities? -Don't laugh, I have really met such a friend, who is almost regarded as "pure in heart, without desire or desire".

Ok, I'll take out the magic weapon at the bottom of the wardrobe, the hobby of people all over the world: eating. There should be something in common this time, right? If you really don't know what to talk about, just talk about food. Talk about your favorite food, talk about the characteristics of your hometown, and you will certainly get a scolding.

The second skill is to be good at using external forces. Although the hobbies, ideas and values mentioned above are good, they all belong to themselves and will disappear after a while, and not everyone may like to hear them. Is there any other way?

Yes There is an information software that is quite popular recently. In order to avoid the suspicion of advertising, I won't say its name, today's headline. Have you guessed? It is a recommendation engine product based on data mining, which recommends the hottest facts and hot news in China for users.

The popularity of a product must meet certain needs. The demand of the above case is about capital. Talking about resources is an essential thing in social interaction, especially for strangers.

Countless news will be produced every day, and countless people will read and consume these news. Among them, few people can really think, dig, analyze and criticize these news independently. Most people do this for entertainment and social interaction.

Having said that, you must be smart enough to understand: if you have nothing to say, why don't you learn from the outside world and help yourself socialize? Nowadays, mobile communication and media are so developed that besides traditional news, there are all kinds of news, comments, jokes, consultations and so on. Most of them are free and inexhaustible.

Next is the last one, which is also the most crucial one.

You feel embarrassed when others make fun of you, mostly because the relationship is not in place, not mature enough and not iron enough. If your best friend plays a joke on you, you won't be embarrassed. So now we need to make a simple judgment: Are people making fun of you? Still lively and harmless?

If it is the latter, it is just an active atmosphere and there is no malice. You can choose to borrow the donkey, or you can make a joke. You can also quickly change the subject after laughing.

If it is the former, people just want to make you look good and make fun of you, so you need to pay attention to it, depending on the degree and nature. Let me give you an example-

If it is slight, it does not constitute an insult. For example, Lao Li said, "Shangguan, why are you still single?" Is your vision too high? " For example, I am married now. We can respond like this: "Lao Li, this joke is good. Why not introduce me to a suitable one? "

First define the other person, "You are joking"; Secondly, throw the luggage to the other party and let the other party "introduce a suitable one". If Lao Li doesn't agree with the introduction, we can say, "Lao Li, you are so boring that you just make fun of me and don't have the sincerity to help." You are not authentic and unreliable ",half-joking and half-criticizing; If Lao Li agrees, we can't talk about this topic next time; Wouldn't it be better if Lao Li really introduced one? Tip: define each other first, and then get rid of the burden.

If it is a serious insult, for example, Lao Li said, "Shangguan, why are you still single?" Is there a problem with your sexual orientation, or is a function not playing well? " Ha ha "at this time, we should immediately, immediately and without hesitation serious, with a straight face, seriously deal with" Lao Li, I have always regarded you as a senior, I respect you very much. I never thought you would say that about me. "If Lao Li comes to their senses and apologizes in time," I'm sorry, Shangguan, I'm just joking, that's all. Don't take it to heart. "If Lao Li refuses to repent and even intensifies, there is no need to pester him again. If it's a big deal, he should be tough enough. Tip: Don't give an inch. It's best to reach an understanding. If not, break up.