What jokes made you laugh for a long time?

1. I just started work on the sixth day of this year and said hello to each other. Suddenly, there was a "poof". I don't know who farted. It was loud. Xiao Li's face turned red in an instant, and everyone knew.

At this time, Liu gave a wry smile. "Don't you miss the locals by listening to your accent?" The scene was embarrassing in an instant, and I thought, Xiao Li is miserable. This bastard Liu usually bullies this and calculates that.

Unexpectedly, Xiao Li replied unhurriedly: "Yes, it's from Shanxi (among colleagues, only Liu himself is from Shanxi, and he didn't mean to insult his fellow Shanxi people, don't get me wrong)."

Shit, the plot reversed so fast that others couldn't help it and laughed. Liu's face is like a monkey in an instant. ......

2. Colleague Xiao Wang doesn't work hard, often forgets things, and often recruits people, but an iron tooth has helped him through many embarrassing situations many times.

Today, Xiao Wang made another small mistake and was complained by his colleague Xiao Li: "This doesn't count, but that counts." You are really an uncle (Qingdao dialect, used to describe people who are informal, arrogant, stupid, etc. )"

Unexpectedly, Xiao Wang replied strongly, "Please, be pragmatic?" Even if you want to be my little nephew, you have to start at the grassroots level. The probation period is three months, and the contract will be signed after three months! But first, I have a little nephew at home who just turned 3. You have to call him brother. This is the rule. Is it a surname? Don't change it yet! "

Several of our other colleagues have been laughing their heads off!

One day, the director of a mental hospital called a patient to see if he could leave the hospital normally. The dean asked, "If you leave the hospital now, what do you want to do first?" Patient: "I'm going to hit the window of your hospital with a stone!" " "Dean shook his head, it seems that he can't leave the hospital, so he was sent back. Another month later, the dean called him again and asked the same question. He still gave the same answer, but he couldn't leave the hospital. Another year passed, and the dean called him again and asked the same question. What does the patient want to do first after leaving the hospital? The patient replied, "I want to go home." The dean was overjoyed. I didn't expect this answer to be so normal! "What do you want to do when you get home? "The dean continued to ask tentatively." Want to work. ""work, and then what? " "Make money." "Make money, and then what?" "Take a wife." "Marry a wife and then what?" "Get married." "Get married and then what?" "The bridal chamber ..." The dean's smile became more and more brilliant, and he nodded hard, thinking that he could leave the hospital this time ... "What happened to the bridal chamber?" The dean asked again, take off your clothes. ""take off your clothes and then ~ "the dean asked him with a wretched smile. "Take off your pants. ""take off your pants ... and then what? " "Then I'm going to pull out the rubber band in my belt, make a slingshot and smash the window of your hospital! ! ! ! ! ! ! "Dean's pawn.

Third son-in-law writes poems:

In the Qing Dynasty, there was a rich man who had three daughters. The eldest daughters are Taihō Erfeng and Sanfeng. The eldest daughter found a juren, the second daughter a scholar, and the third daughter a farmer. One day, the father-in-law celebrated his eightieth birthday, and the three daughters brought their husbands to celebrate their birthdays. The old father-in-law showed the seat to the eldest son-in-law and the second son-in-law, and poured water with a pipe. The third son-in-law doesn't make any noise when she comes, and she never looks down on her. But Sanfeng and her husband are very loving and always take her husband with them when they go out. Juren and scholar look down on the third child even more. After the banquet, he raised his hand and said, "Sit down and write a poem." . The seats are delicious, and there is a table in the direction, which is convenient for guests to enjoy. It is said that big, small, more, less and better are the topics, and no one can eat in the mill. The old father-in-law said: Good! Seeing that my father-in-law was wearing a cotton robe, I said: My father-in-law's cotton robe is good, but it is a little big and small. I wear more in winter and less in summer. The old father-in-law said: Good! Please sit down. It's the second son-in-law's turn to learn. Seeing an umbrella, the scholar said, "The old man's umbrella is good. Hold it big and put it away small. It is used more when it rains and less when it is sunny. " The old father-in-law said yes! Please sit down. It is the third son-in-law's turn. He scratched his head for a while and looked at Sanfeng winking at him. My wife is quite good. She is treated as a big girl and a little girl at home. She sleeps more with me and less with others. Hearing this, the old father-in-law scolded you for getting out. Three girls slipped away. Sanfeng grabbed her husband's ear and said with a smile, why can't you teach him in the first place? The third son-in-law replied: I saw you wink at me and thought you were flirting with me! So I want to make a joke.

What can people do when they are forced?

I'm afraid I can't do the Olympic math problem.

Ha ha. Then tell a joke! It is said that during World War II, on a train in Poland, four people sat at a small table, namely a German officer, a beautiful Polish girl, a Jew and an old woman (regardless of nationality and race). Four people looked at each other all the way, have nothing to say. Suddenly, the train pulled into a cave, the carriage was dark, and the noisy carriage suddenly became quiet. At this point, everyone heard a boo, I don't know who kissed who, and I heard two slaps, and I don't know who slapped who. Then the train drove out of the cave. Everyone saw the German officer's faces turn red. Four people still didn't speak. The old woman praised her in her heart: the girl is beautiful and has a big temper. Not easy to bully! The girl thought: There is something wrong with this German. He kissed an old woman instead of me. Serve you right! The German officer roared in his heart: Damn Jew, he took advantage of the girl himself, and I was slapped twice! Only Jews snickered in their hearts. Do you know what happened? What are the Jews laughing at?

Story 1: At the beginning of school, the boss bought a pager (revealing his age), but I haven't seen anyone call him for a long time. One day, Lao Liu couldn't help asking, Boss, you bought a pager and no one came to see you. What's the use?

Boss: It's used as a watch.

Old Six: Why not just buy a watch?

Boss: Can the watch be used as a pager?

Old six: ...

Story 2: The boss sat in a daze on the bed, and the old four cleared the table. When he looked up, he found the boss looking at himself, so

Old four: Boss, why do you keep staring at me?

Boss: It's not that I stare at you, it's that you come into my sight.

Old four: …

Story 3: On the way back to the dormitory after class, there is a beautiful woman in front, and everyone is talking about it.

Boss: Stop arguing. You look very slutty.

Everybody: Boss, how do you see that?

Boss: Beauty depends on thighs, coquettish depends on waistband.

Everyone: ...

Story 4: Going to an Internet cafe to play CS, the boss's record is 0: 39.

Old four: Boss, are you undercover? Can you kill one?

Boss: I didn't mean to kill them, which made them feel ashamed.

Old four: …

Tell me about a colleague's personal experience of getting a haircut.