Funny quotes that make people laugh, funny quotes that make fun of people

1. Marble brand insoles are shameless for your feet.

2. If you hang around, you will get annoyed sooner or later.

3. I’ll hit you when I hit you, do you still have to choose a day?

4. Play mahjong and eat spicy hotpot. Find a little partner, that's how life goes.

5. In this era where the price of everything is rising, I suddenly discovered to my joy that the price of air has not increased, but that the price of air has increased.

6. So far, three apples have changed the world: one tempted Eve, one woke up Newton, and one was held in the hand of Steve Jobs.

7. Being crowded in Beijing brings trouble to the capital...

8. I am like a fly lying on the glass. The future is bright, but I can’t find it. To the way out.

9. Everyone says that I am an actor because my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl...

10. I don’t know whose wife is on my bed. My wife doesn’t know. In whose bed!

11. When squeezing on the bus or subway, you can do it with ease.

12. You know, it is very embarrassing to tell the sales girl whether there are extra-large clothes; but the clothes here are too fat, but you can say it with confidence.

13. Even the King of Tonga ordered the whole country to lose weight.

14. Genetics calmly tells us: cross-species love is destined to have no good results.

15. Yue Lao! Can you please use the inferior red rope to marry me? It breaks every now and then.

16. He Wenxuan once said to Li Qingyuan: The reason why you are not GAY yet is because you have not yet met a man who makes your heart beat.

17. Bah! My ears are pricked up, are you just going to listen to this?

18. I cannot stretch the length of life, but I can expand the width of life. I look thin to you when I am fat, so as not to look ugly to you when I am thin.

19. The only two things I can do in my study life are watch top students show off their grades and watch couples show off their affection.

20. Our country is rich in population and resources. But why are there still so many men who cannot marry wives? Is it because of the constraints of feudal ideology, which disrupted the ratio and number of men and women, or is it because of social regression that the system of polygamy has started again?

21. When I am impulsive, I really want to turn into an animal, even if it is just a hard-working livestock. Just follow the master's orders and don't have to feel the helplessness of being a human being. Or simply do a transplant and undergo a complete sex reassignment operation. Running into the crowd and pretending to be a fool can give fellow citizens an alternative way out.

22. Singles’ Day is here. Birds are in love, ants are living together, flies are pregnant, mosquitoes have miscarriages, butterflies are divorced, caterpillars have remarried, and frogs have given birth. What are you waiting for? What?

23. The streets are dotted with matchmaking agencies. I also fantasized that they could help me open up sales. However, the final result made me understand what it means to be a father to a thief, and I was drained of my income for several years by the marriage sitter.

24. People have searched for her thousands of times, and the path has been smoothed. Suddenly I looked back and looked around, there were countless aunts and ladies. Occasionally, there are beautiful women who come to visit, and they are still married women. Most of the rest are basically unsightly.

25. There is an old lady who has been squatting in the tank for a long time. Please give her more time to breathe.

26. Sing to me and let you go when you are happy.

27. You still laugh at me when I urinate frequently.

28. Some things, some people, some scenery, once they enter your eyes and enter your heart, even for a moment, they are eternal.

29. You can escape the monk, but you cannot escape the abbot.

30. Now the uncooked rice has been cooked into porridge.

31. Spit is for counting money, not for reasoning.

32. Bet with me, not to see what you want, but to see what I have...

33. You chat with them until midnight every day, how can they have time to create? What about humans?

34. I will definitely be chopped into potato chips.

35. Life is like a play, one person loves one, and another one gets married and has children. Very normal.

36. A strong life does not need explanation.

37. A good man is me. I am Zeng Xiaoxian.

38. You must be online for me tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the monument.

39. If I say I love you, it doesn’t necessarily mean I really love you; if I say I don’t love you, I must have really loved you.

40. Amitabha, monks do not lie. Female benefactor, you are indeed the most beautiful and sexy woman that the poor monk has encountered since his journey to the east. Look at your hair, your jade hands, your skin, this feel...

41 .My mother only gave birth to me. You can figure out who I am.

42. I was bored and sang to the computer in fear. After I finished singing, the computer suddenly crashed.

43. If you are fat, remember not to wear a red scarf. Otherwise you will be like QQ.

44. Female donor, I am a poor monk whose cultivation is still shallow. I can’t heal your wounds even though I am separated from you. I am offended.

45. Just wait, one day I will let you be the mother of my future son.

46. Why do people live? Just for those pictures of the great Mao Zedong.

47. Practice one breath inside and one breath outside.

48. If you can do something, try not to make any noise.

49. A wet diaper that can withstand floods is a real wet diaper!

50. What you wear is dangerous, but you look safe.

51. No matter how awesome the If You Are the One female guest is, she can only put out one man’s lights, but the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out the whole floor!

52. People who are always dissatisfied with their hairstyles , have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that this is a problem with their faces.

53. I connected all the memories into a movie, and a tragedy was produced.

54. People say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact it’s all because of her makeup.

55. Starvation, if done well, is called losing weight; pinching people, if done well, is called massage; being in a daze, if done well, is called deepness; being lazy, if done well, is called deepness. Being good is called enjoyment; being shameless, if done well, is called persistence; pretending to be stupid, if done well, is called being wise and foolish.

56. Friendship is like a vase, it will break when someone messes with it.

57. With a heart full of love, all beauties in the world are lovers.

58. You take your sunny path, and I’ll take my underground path.

59. Get up earlier than a chicken, go to bed later than a cat, and earn less hair than a bald man.

60. Pretending to be mature is an act of pretending to be older.

61. Suddenly I realized that I haven’t dared to go out since I got glasses.

62. I am so lonely that even my desires have been shaken off by me.

63.Give me a pair of chopsticks. I could eat the entire planet.

64. If something goes wrong, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

65. Because of the unbearable loneliness, I fell in love several times. Who would have thought that after repeated defeats, he would be easily kicked!

66. I am busy during the day and busy at night.

67. Be a person who hovers between cow A and cow C.

68. Question: Does my avatar look like a cow? Answer: Like!

69. Boss, give me a sad haircut! Thanks!

70. How can one be so thick-skinned, so much so that pig-skinned emotions cannot be examined.

71. When a beautiful woman is in front of you, it would be a sin not to take advantage of her.

72. Looking back suddenly, I wonder why you haven’t left yet.

73. Evil people are never funny, evil people must seize the time to do evil.

74. The evil person said: If you say that I am an evil person, I will kill you!

75. No matter how old the human beings are, they are all young when it comes to money.

76. Ducks are too arrogant, rabbits are too mouthy, but I am a pig and I am very good.