Who can recommend some jokes that can make people laugh and cramp …

1. The tortoise was injured and asked the snail to buy medicine. Two hours later, the snail didn't come back. The tortoise scolded, "I'm not fucking back, I'm dying!" " At this time, there was a voice outside the door: "Damn it, I won't go again!" 2. If your ears itch, it means I miss you. If your eyes itch, it means I want to see you. If your mouth itches, it means I want to kiss you. If you itch all over, don't be scared. It's time to take a shower! ! ! Hahaha! ! ! 3. One day, the underworld boss asked you: What is 1 plus 1? You wondered and hesitated for a long time and said: equal to 2. The boss took out his gun and killed you with a bang. The boss blew the cigarette at the muzzle and said, You know too much ~ 4. A bitch jumped on you and bit a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. You stretched out your foot and was about to kick it. The dog said tearfully, "Go ahead, anyway, I have your flesh and blood in my stomach!" 5. A puppy climbed onto the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The owner was furious, saying, I will do what you dare to do to that roast chicken. The dog licked the chicken's ass. The master fainted. The little dog said happily, look who's tough! 6. The cat was forced by life to sit in the hair salon opened by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon to call the roll to keep the cat overnight. The cat vowed to die, and the mouse was furious: I was chased to death at the beginning, but now I am still a prude! 7. In the first exam of senior high school, the teacher handed out papers, and the girl at the back took an extra one, shouting "Teacher, I have it, I have it". As a result, the boy sitting next to me said "It's mine, it's mine", and the whole class laughed wildly. 8. After knowing each other for so long, you and I both know exactly where you are in my heart. Life is like a dream, and the years flow, you know, in the vast sea of people, others are just an onion to me, but you are different, you are two! 9. Stop studying; It's too difficult! Make tofu! Tofu is the safest; Hard to do is dried tofu! It's tofu brain if it's thin! Thin is tofu skin! No, it's soy milk! In case it can't be sold, it can still be used as stinky tofu! 1. I love you. What's the sum of "one business world" and "ten"? ! ! ! The result is (52+1314)*1=1834, that is, ".Slap you to death! "Xi Xi ha ha ha ... 11. Congratulations! Has been admitted to the shameless class of Toad Department of United Nations Frog University! Please take the No.514 bus with your mental illness certificate and get off at Stupid Road Stupid Street. Please stand at the school gate and giggle when signing up! 12. If someone bullies you, tell your elder sister that I beat his limbs to move, his seven joints to connect, his face to be colored, his nose to be straight, his head to be vibrated, and his front teeth to be flipped over ... 13. I would like to remind you with this information that the university is going to have an exam! Metersbonwe Bang Wei: No ordinary courses! Xtep: Fail! Dead feeling nike:just hang it! Summer horse: what to test, what to hang! Melatonin: I won't fail this year's holiday, but I will only fail the professional course Huiren Shenbao: He will fail me! Li Ning: Failing, anything is possible! Want Want: You hang up, I hang up, everyone hangs up! Hang up! Hao Di: If everyone hangs up, it's really hanging up! White plus black: hanging a subject during the day, not sleepy; Hang one subject at night and sleep soundly. calcium in calcium: Now, it has a high gold content. Hanging one subject is superior to the last five, which is convenient! Look at me, I failed five subjects in one breath. It's effortless, my waist is not sore, my legs are not painful, and I'm strong enough to jump off a building! 14. It is said that when there is a meteor in the sky, it is very clever to make a wish. I made a wish to a shooting star that day, hoping that you would be smarter. Shit! Guess what? The meteor flew back the same way! 15. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you were the commander-in-chief, wearing a pot cover, a sack, a plastic bag around your waist, a pot cover in your hand, and two Chinese cabbages on your feet ... Shouting, "Stop! Shit! Rotten! ! ！”

remember to adopt it.