A funny joke with classic humor.

1. Tang Priest: Empress, you teased the poor monk with another woman's ID online, and the poor monk took the bait. What does this mean? Explain that the poor monk is a playboy? No, it shows that even if you change your name, the poor monk will definitely fall in love with you. No matter when, where and in what way, poor monks will recognize you in the vast sea of people, fall in love with you and never let you go.

2. Who is it? The queen mother is taking a bath and cleaning. With the sound of the maid, a shadow flashed out of the window and flew away. The queen mother, wrapped in royal robes, went to the window and immediately stopped the maid who tried to chase her. "Stop chasing, I know who it is." The maid heard the news and stared at it in the direction of the queen mother's eyes. It should have been a perfect enough paper, and it was pierced by three holes with wet fingers!

In English class, a buddy was caught playing with his mobile phone, and the teacher took it away and put it on the platform for ten minutes. The phone rang and the teacher refused to answer it. After five minutes, the phone rang again, and the teacher turned it off angrily. Ten minutes later, the phone rang again, and the teacher picked it up and dropped it, resulting in his own phone!

At school, I took a fancy to a girl and asked my friend how to pursue her. My friend said that you should help him and make her believe you. I said how to help, and he said that if you create difficulties, you should help. Later, I thought of it. I locked my bike in her car. After school, she couldn't leave, so I went to ask her if she needed help. She nodded, so I took out my key and opened the door. She gently said to me, you are * * *!

When I was in primary school, a classmate in my class committed a little crime, and the class teacher gave me a beating. We all wondered why only he was beaten! Later, I learned that the head teacher was his mother! GC was beaten once and happened to pass by the corridor. He grabbed the headmaster's arm and complained. As a result, the principal did not hesitate to beat him again! My friends and I are very surprised! The head teacher said weakly, "Dad, it's time for class! Call home at night! "

6. I talked to my colleagues about the house price at noon yesterday, and I also said: Now the house price is so expensive, if I have a piece of land, it will really be developed! He said: If you have a piece of land, I will recognize you as michel platini at once! Just after reading it, the little girl at the front desk called me: XX~ You have a courier! . . . Later, my son refused to talk to me all afternoon.

7. I drove out to play with my friends last night, but I was halfway through. The goods said I would get off to buy water, and I waited in the car. After more than ten minutes, he ran back as fast as he could, followed by two dogs barking desperately. The car started as soon as the goods got on the bus. I thought he was afraid to kill those two dogs. As a result, he turned on the high beam and flashed desperately: mom's labor blinded your dog's eyes, and I was shocked!

8. The monitor is the most tired, the single rate of the monitor is the highest, the phone bill of the monitor is the highest, the monitor is the one who is not human inside and outside, the monitor is the one who has the shortest holiday, the monitor is the one who is cursed, the monitor is the one who is forced to invite people to dinner, the monitor is the one who is forced to marry the communist youth league secretary at every turn, the monitor is the one with the most kidneys, the monitor is the one who sells the most kidneys, and the monitor is the one who has no object. It was decided that this woman would accompany us as the most tired monitor.

9. One day, the exclamation point met a dash again and immediately smiled: Fuck! You still want to fight with people with your body? Was it knocked down? Dash is furious: Nima! I am not as tall as you! However, Lao tze's waist is thicker than the three of you!

10. A young monk ran to the old monk in a panic and said with great regret, "Master, I killed something today, absolutely not on purpose." The master said, "Be a monk, don't kill." The young monk said, "I was urinating in the wild, but I didn't expect to drown an ant." The master said, "The ant was scalded to death by your urine. Put it in the palm of your hand when you urinate outside, and then pour it out when it is cold. "

1 1. A fool carries 12 eggs. Suddenly, the fool met a man named fool. The fool thinks he is smarter than the fool, so he blocks the way and says, test your intelligence. If you guess what's in my basket, I will give you six eggs. If you can guess how many eggs are in it, I will give you 12 eggs and laugh. The fool glanced at the fool disdainfully and sneered, it's not embarrassing. Can you give me more hints?

12. A buddy just came back from the shower. The first thing he said when he opened the door was, "I suddenly have a strong impulse to learn." We said, "If you want to learn, no one will stop you." He picked up the glass of water, sat down and said, "No, no, it's too impulsive. I need a glass of water to calm down. "

13. I remember one day in summer, it rained heavily. She gave me a beautiful paper box. I rushed home to protect it with my body. Open it and see, it is an umbrella! ! !

14. I can't stand my foodie girlfriend anymore. She broke my little walnut bracelet and ate it. ...

15. My buddy likes a girl. Finally, he once confessed to her in front of the whole class with flowers. The girl is embarrassed to ask why you like me. The buddy said: "Although you are not very beautiful, you have a bad temper, your grades are not very good, you are not very eye-catching at school, and you even belong to the middle and lower classes, but I have a strange feeling when I see you." I think this is ... "

"You are blind!" The girl smashed the flowers and turned away.

16. I met a centenarian downstairs today. Seeing him sitting there alone, I went up and asked, "Grandpa, why don't you play chess with those grandfathers at the door?"

As a result, the uncle said, "What's so funny about those children in their sixties and seventies!"

Grandpa, you must live a lonely life!

17. there is an American cartoon called transformers, and then transformers are printed on pencil boxes, transformers are printed on erasers, everywhere, and schoolbags. The most exasperating thing is that there are transformers on the popsicle. Some time ago, someone ate a popsicle and a screw. They immediately went to the manufacturer and asked why there were screws. The manufacturer is shameless to explain why there are screws. At this time, the Transformers Special Edition, your Transformers will need to change the screws. What the hell is this? Please explain it to me clearly. This is the relic of Optimus Prime.

18. As a foodie, I want to popularize a knowledge here. I'm not kidding, it's just ... To be honest, I really can't understand why Koreans like kimchi so much, although I admit that I like it too, right? It tastes crisp, sour, sweet and spicy, and most importantly, it is cheap. This is something they can't live without. No matter what you eat, there is kimchi, so I advise you not to eat kimchi if you don't eat children's shoes, because pickled food is carcinogenic, which is why we look at Korea.

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