Reading "Historical Records" for history beginners (V) - How to fight back against people who laugh at you?

In this world, there are always people who bully others and take pleasure in making fun of others.

Big V Liu Miao wrote in "Laughter and Humor": "Studying the principles of jokes, it is not difficult to find that humor is often related to harm. In other words, jokes are a form of legal harm. In most jokes, there is always a poor person who is insulted or harmed."

How to be the unfortunate target of being teased and insulted, how to deal with this malicious world, and fight against those who laugh at you. , Spring and Autumn Big Vs are here to teach you a few tricks.

The first move: Dog Beating Stick Technique - hit hard head on, leaving no room for anything.

This move is quite relieving. It is like "taking a step back and the sky will be brighter", and "it is better to do less than to do more". "One thing", I should forget about it all. If someone insults my dignity, I should use the dog-beating stick method to hit them head-on.

One king and one son will destroy a country and two ministers."

After the death of Xia Ji’s husband and Xia Zhengshu’s father, Xia Ji had an affair with Chen Linggong, the king of Chen State, Kong Ning, and Yi Xing’s father. This king and two ministers enjoyed the beauty of each other and were not jealous of each other. , and openly took out Xia Ji's underwear and played with it in the court, which was extremely shameless.

Once, when the three of them were drinking at Xia Ji's house, Chen Linggong made a classic "Old Wang next door" joke to the two courtiers in front of Xia Zhengshu, "I see Zhengshu growing up." They look like you two!"

The two blind people also said: "They obviously look like you!"

Today, the one who likes to make this joke is Lao Guo. They teased Yu Qian and Sha Yi on the stage, but they were so angry that they couldn't fall out with him. I was afraid that he would say, "I'm talking about cross talk, why do I take it seriously!"

Xia Zhengshu, a young man, was insulted in person, but he didn't have the deep concentration to draw an arrow after drinking. The shameless Chen Linggong frightened Kong Ning and Yi Xingfu into fleeing to Chu.

The consequences of joking are very serious, it can cause a murder or a war.

There was a minister named Chuke in the Jin State. He was very capable in business, but he had a flaw: he was a hunchback.

During the reign of Duke Jinggong of Jin Dynasty, he was sent as an envoy to Qi State. At that time, Ji Sun Xingfu and Sun Liangfu were also envoys to Qi. Ji Sun Xingfu was lame and Sun Liangfu was one-eyed.

Seeing such an ambassador for the disabled, Qi Qinggong was overjoyed. He asked the hunchback to receive Choke, the lame man to receive Ji Sunxingfu, and the one-eyed man to receive Sun Liangfu.

Not only was Qi Qinggong happy, he also asked his mother, Xiao Tong, and his uncle to have a look through the curtain for fun.

The dignified scholar-bureaucrat of a great country was actually teased by a woman, but he was so angry at this unreliable mother and son that he swore a poisonous oath: "Anyone who doesn't repay Qi will be looked down upon by He Bo!"

Within a few years, the opportunity came. In 589 BC, Qi Qinggong led an army to attack Jin's allies Lu and Wei. Choike received a letter from the two countries asking for help, and immediately led half of Jin's troops and 800 chariots to attack Qi.

The two sides battled in the saddle. Choke was hit by an arrow but still refused to leave the battlefield. He led his army to defeat Qi and fled.

Qi State sent people to sue for peace, but Chuke could finally say proudly: "Uncle Xiao Tong must be sent as a hostage."

Uncle Xiao Tong is the mother of Qi State, so why? If someone sends the mother of the country to be a hostage, of course Qi will not do it. However, Ke Ke won the battle and showed no mercy, expressing all the anger in his chest.

It’s so satisfying to hit someone who is joking head-on! There are several prerequisites for using this trick.

First, one must have excellent strength. Only by holding the military power of Jin could he be able to fight against Qi and avenge his previous humiliation.

The second is to be able to bear the consequences. Xia Zhengshu was angry and killed Chen Linggong. Later, the king of Chuzhuang attacked Chen and broke Xia Zhengshu's chariot. You have to consider your own strength when seeking revenge.

Sometimes, you don’t have to fight to the death to vent your bad breath. You can also defeat the enemy with gentler moves. Let’s look at the second move.

The second move: The battle is turning and the stars are changing - use the other person's way to repay the other person

"Use the other person's way to return the favor to the other person". This is the best way to use it. Not Murong from Gusu, but Yanzi from Qi.

According to historical records, Yan Zi's height was "less than six feet long", which is about 1.4 meters. With such a stature, as a diplomat on a mission to other countries, it was expected that he would be bullied.

When Yanzi was on a mission to Chu, the people of Chu deliberately opened a small hole next to the gate so that Yanzi could go through the small door.

If Chu Ke came here, he would be so angry that he would not even come in. He would curse the Chu State, "If you don't avenge this, I will not be a human being." Then he would return home to train his troops and prepare to attack the Chu State.

But Yanzi only said one sentence lightly, "Those who envoy to the dog kingdom should enter through the dog gate. I am envoy to Chu and should not enter through this gate."

The meaning is very clear, you guys This is dog country, so I entered through the dog door. If you were the Chu State, I would have to enter through the gate.

The Chu people had no choice but to let him enter through the gate with his head held high.

The King of Chu was still unwilling to give in, and wanted to make things difficult for Yanzi. He said to him: "There is no one in Qi. Why send a hobbit like you to us?"

Yan Zi was not angry, and said openly, "There are many people in Qi, and there are also many capable people. The talented people have gone to good countries, and I, the most incompetent, have no choice but to come to Chu."

The king of Chu was so choked that he couldn't eat anymore, so he summoned the people around to use his big move.

While drinking, someone tied up a thief from the state of Qi and brought him to the palace. He deliberately said to Yan Zi: "People in the state of Qi are all good at stealing."

Yanzi said, It became a famous saying for later generations, "Oranges grow as oranges when they grow in Huainan, and they grow as tangerines when growing in northern Huaibei." The water and soil support a person, and it is clear that the water and soil of Chu State are not good, so the people of Qi State were led astray.

Yanzi faced Chu's direct provocation three times without showing any anger, and reflected Chu's ridicule on him on Chu himself. This trick of "using the other person's way to repay the other person's body" is also used to the extreme.

The Chu State could only smile and say, "I am humiliating myself!" A war turned into a joke.

The most outstanding person in later generations who used this technique was the monk Buddha Seal.

Su Dongpo and Foyin were good friends. One day, Su Dongpo said to Foyin: "In the eyes of the master, who am I?" Foyin said: "In the eyes of the poor monk, the donor is me, Buddha Tathagata." Golden body."

Su Dongpo was naturally very happy when his friend said that he was a Buddha. I couldn't help but want to make a joke, make fun of the Buddha's seal, and said with a smile: "But from my perspective, the master is a pile of cow shit."

I think you are a golden Buddha, but you laugh at me. Cow shit. People who are not well-educated can't help but scold, "You are just bull shit, your whole family is bull shit!"

Foyin was not angry, he just said: "Buddha is born from the heart, and there is something in the heart." Buddha, everything you see is Buddha; your heart is cow dung, and everything you see turns into cow dung." A good person who "repays others with his own way" is the great talent Su Dongpo Yeqi. One move away, irrefutable.

The third move: the great shift of the world - accumulation of accumulated wealth, turning the world upside down

When faced with people who laugh at you, insult you, or harm you, it is a pleasure to take revenge at the same time. But in special circumstances, when the strength is not enough and the time has not come, it may not be a wise move to endure the temporary anger and hide one's strength and bide one's time.

Gou Jian, the king of Yue, worked hard for ten years and finally avenged his shame and destroyed the state of Wu; Wu Zixu took the revenge of his father and brother being killed and devoted himself to serving Wu, and finally whipped King Ping of Chu to exact revenge; the Marquis of Huaiyin, Han Xin, was crotched Despite the humiliation, he was able to bend and stretch, and later became a generation of war god.

As long as a person is alive, there is no need to worry about not having a chance to turn over.

Let those who looked down on you in the past see with your own eyes that you have reached a height that they could not reach through your own efforts. Wouldn't it be nice to be hit like this!