A joke about insurance

Jokes about insurance are a pastime in people's lives. Watching some jokes properly can make boring life more interesting. There are many kinds of jokes, and jokes in different industries are different. I have arranged some jokes about insurance, I hope you like them!

Jokes about insurance 1 1. Yesterday, I rejected three girls. I am really an excellent boy. I can only say sorry silently. I really can't afford your real estate insurance and financial management.

She and he used to be lovers. After breaking up, they haven't contacted each other for many years. One day, he suddenly received a message from her: "How are you?"

His heart warmed up and he replied, "Good."

I quickly received a reply: "Being good now does not mean being good in the future. People are doomed, and the future is unpredictable. Buy insurance for your family. "

3. My wife works in an insurance company and her performance is not good. When the husband saw his wife's sad face, he helped out with an idea: "The most important thing in selling insurance is personal connections. Go to all your classmates under the guise of catching up, and you will gain something. " A few days later, the husband asked about the result. The wife said angrily, "It's all your bad idea! I didn't sell any insurance, but I received eight invitations in a row, seven students were getting married and one child was full moon. ...

I haven't called my dad for a long time. I missed him a little, so I hit one. As soon as I got through, I heard my dad growl: I told you, don't buy insurance, don't buy insurance. Why did you call again?

I quickly said: Dad, I am your son. Dad growled again: You don't want my son, my grandson is useless. And then I hung up.

6. A friend did WeChat business for more than a month and then resigned, earning 380,000 yuan. Now he is at home. I asked him, "How do you make money?" He said: "It was selling fake goods, and the leg was broken, and the insurance company paid for it."

7. Xiaoli has money at home, but she can't stay at home all the time looking for a job. So Xiaoli went to a shopping mall to sell clothes and quit after two days. I asked why. Xiaoli said: It costs more to go to work. It turned out that on Xiaoli's first day at work, a customer came to sell insurance, and she talked with Xiaoli for a long time. Not a single dress was lost in those two days, but Xiaoli bought more than 3,000 insurances.

8. Looking at my husband's palm, I find that his lifeline is very long, and looking at mine, the lifeline is very short. So I looked at my husband affectionately and said, "I may only live to be in my fifties!" " "I hope my husband can say something touching to respond to himself. Who knows, my husband paused and said, "then don't pay the old-age insurance, you can't get it anyway!" "

9. The man is leaving, and the woman silently cleans up the man. Woman: "It's a mess over there. Be careful. " Man: "Well, the company gave high insurance, and the beneficiary wrote your name." Woman: "Don't write my name, change it to your mother." The man scraped the woman's nose: "silly old lady", and the woman hammered the man: "silly old lady"

10, a woman in the company bought a new car, and it snowed after driving for a few days. The overpass hit the guardrail and called the insurance company. The insurance company took photos and told her to open the bridge first and block the traffic here. She kept driving, followed by the insurance company. As a result, my sister didn't stop and chased the car. The insurance company got out of the car and continued to take pictures. At this time, the big brother who was rear-ended exclaimed: "I am lying in the sink! Amazing, there is an insurance company behind it! "

1 1, "Brother, why didn't you answer my phone?" "Forget it, I don't want to buy your insurance." "Why, brother, have I upset you?" "You said to my house last night, I asked you to bring me a box of jasper by the way. And you bought me chicken wings! My girlfriend was there yesterday, and I don't want to say anything about you. " "……"

12. One day, I suddenly received a phone call from a female client: What is your insurance?

A: In case of accidents.

She: Did you pay for the unexpected pregnancy?

I replied to her: Is there a scene?

Beep, beep. . . She hung up the phone. . .

13, tell a true story. Last year, when everyone was picking up their luggage, a buddy at the back said, "I bought fucking insurance for nothing." The cabin suddenly became quiet.

14, class reunion, met the beautiful female classmate at the same table before. Chatting and chatting, I learned that I was still single, so I left contact information with each other and made an appointment to meet again another day! After the second meeting, I couldn't help it. . . I bought insurance! ! !

15, just got a call: "Hello!" Me: "Hello!"

She: "I'm from the insurance company. Do you drive? "

Me: "I don't drive, the driver drives."

She: "Is your car insured?"

Me: "There should be. I haven't asked the driver. I'll ask later. "

She: "How much is your car worth?"

Me: "I didn't ask the driver how much it was. It is estimated that there are tens of millions. "

She: "Brother, what kind of car is yours?"

Me: "Subway!"

grand ...

The phone was hung up. You have a big temper, and I'm not lying to you!

16. On the train, a boy sent a message to Weibo by mobile phone: "On the train, I fell in love with her at first sight. I don't know why, she has been looking out of the window ... "

The boy looked at her silently, thinking that she must not know.

After a while, someone in Weibo replied to him: "Because you are reflected outside the window."

The boy looked up, and she was smiling at herself ... and then silently handed over a business card with Ping An Insurance written on it.

17, take the overpass and hit the guardrail. I called the insurance company, which took photos and told her to open the bridge first and block the traffic here.

18, she continued to drive, and the insurance company followed. As a result, the elder sister didn't stop to rear-end the car, and the insurance company got off and continued to take pictures. At this time, the big brother who was rear-ended exclaimed: "Lie in the trough! Too awesome, followed by insurance companies! "

A joke about insurance 2 1. A young man received a dear John letter from a woman, which said, "Although our relationship has ended, you must compensate me for the loss of my four years of youth." The young man replied with a short message: "honey, I can't pay this money because you are not insured."

Morrison has two daughters, but unfortunately her left foot was amputated in a car accident. Therefore, the insurance company paid him a considerable premium as his eldest daughter's dowry. At the wedding of the eldest daughter in the church, the youngest daughter leaned over Morrison's ear and whispered, "Dad, you have to think about me. How can I raise a dowry? "

3. A man helped his wife buy insurance from an insurance company. After signing the contract, the man asked the salesman, "If my wife dies tonight, how much can I get?" The salesman replied, "About twenty years in prison!" "

The teacher who teaches economics is talking about the relationship between the insured and the beneficiary. In order to be more vivid, he gave an example: "For example, I took out personal insurance, and one day I was killed by a car, and your mistress can get compensation. She is the beneficiary, then who am I? " A classmate replied, "Dead man." A joke about insurance.

A customer stood panting in front of the counter of the insurance company, demanding that his house be insured against fire immediately: "Please be flexible and deal with it immediately. There is no time to delay. The house is already smoking. "

6. Customer: I want to make a claim!

Staff: What insurance do you have?

Customer: Accident insurance.

Staff: What's the matter with you?

Customer: I'm pregnant and I have a son in the hospital.

Staff: Pregnancy is not an accident!

Guest: I'm almost 50 years old. Can I get pregnant if it's not an accident? Do you think I still want to have children at my age? !

Managers of three life insurance companies are competing with each other to speed up claims.

The first one said, our company can give the claim form to the parties within five working days at most.

The second one said that our company can get it done in two working days at most.

The third said: You are all slow here. My client jumped off the 50th floor of our company and got the claim form when he passed the 35th floor.

You blow! No, because our company is on the 35th floor.

8. On this day, Wang Peng rode an electric car home. He didn't go far when he heard a "poof" and the tire was punctured. Just when he was in a hurry, a big rush stopped at his side with a squeak and a head stuck out. It turned out to be Daming, a high school classmate I haven't seen for years.

Daming asked about the situation and said, "Get on the bus! I will send you. " When Wang Peng got on the bus, she found a beautiful young girl sitting inside.

In the car, Daming told him to have a class reunion on Saturday and asked him to bring his wife and sister-in-law.

Wang Peng agreed at first, but after he looked at the girl next to him, he backed out: "Otherwise, your sister-in-law won't go. She is very busy recently. " Daming said, "That won't do. You were quiet when you got married, and now you want to hide your beauty in the golden house? "

Wang Peng remained. When he got home, he couldn't help sighing when he saw his wife wearing an apron and busy in the kitchen.

Not long after Wang Peng went to work the next day, the door of the office was pushed open. It was the same woman who asked him to sell insurance in recent days. Wang Peng said grumpily, "Didn't I tell you? At present, I have no plans to buy insurance. " The woman said softly, "Think again, even if you take care of me!" " "Say that finish, he twisted his waist and leaned over to his desk.

A scent went straight to the nostrils. Wang Peng couldn't help looking at this woman. An idea popped up at once, so he changed his tune and said, "We can discuss it, but you have to cooperate with me to play it back first." Then I told the woman what I thought.

Women are not the kui is insurance, people grow beautiful, mouth kung fu is also quite severe. After the party, the students joked with Wang Peng: "No wonder you didn't say anything when you got married. So you are afraid that your sister-in-law will be robbed! "

Out of the hotel, just turned the corner, the woman smiled and said, "The occasion helped you cope. You should consider buying insurance this time! " Wang Peng nodded again and again and said, "Think about it, you must consider-well, is there a risk of a flat tire in an electric car?"