Ask for help and praise.

Sometimes people like to send friends when they are bored. In addition to expressing their feelings, they just want someone to praise them. The following are the sentences I like to help, hoping to make everyone gain something!

Say some funny sentences I like.

1. Discuss with classmates in the summer vacation at school, which homework you do and which homework I do, and then copy it! Follow the plan. As a result, my classmates copied my summer homework and sent it back a week later, saying, "Your summer homework, what you did, was so wrong that I changed it for five days before I could copy it with confidence."

As a member of the system, my predecessors told me not to offend two kinds of female colleagues. One is very beautiful, with a powerful michel platini behind it; One is ugly, with a powerful father behind him.

When Bei Piao returned to his hometown after many years, his mother came out of the kitchen slowly with a pot of tea in her hand and said to him with concern, "You are tired, drink quickly." This is the tea made by mother. " His face turned red, and he cocked his blue finger and picked up the cup.

4. News course: An old lady fell on the road and broke her teeth. How did the reporter report it? Hong Kong Press Conference Accountability to the Municipal Government: Are there any hidden dangers in road construction? Taiwan Province reporter will follow up medical insurance: Who will pay for this filling? American press conference pays attention to the social level of the elderly: how do marginalized elderly people live? In Chinese mainland, it is said, "If one person loses his tooth, everyone will help him", "If the road is heartless, people have feelings" and "If the old man loses his tooth, will he help him or not? 》?

My husband has a pockmarked birthmark on his ass. One day, I chatted with my girlfriend and said that everyone on the Internet was discussing that if someone was injured and died in a previous life, the injured place would become a birthmark in this life. The boudoir blurted out: So your husband was stabbed to death by cactus in his last life? Haha, boudoir is so humorous! Wait! How do you know what birthmark my husband has on his ass? !

I was depressed the other day. Tell my friend who is studying medicine that I want to commit suicide. Hand strokes indicate that the knife cut the wrist. My friend who studied medicine said that I didn't cut it like this. It can only be a skin injury, not fatal. Speaking of excitement, you drew me a starting point with a pen?

My daughter-in-law is pregnant for three months, and she likes to drink porridge from the beginning of pregnancy? At noon, I made pumpkin porridge and drank a big bowl. During the nap, I lay in bed and said, honey, I feel the child kicking me. Is it too much porridge that flooded him? This is a three-year-old baby brain?

8. In my sophomore year, a roommate was dumped by his girlfriend and stood on the balcony in despair and smoked a cigarette. Suddenly, she turned around and said, who can give me a reason not to commit suicide? A voice in the corner: It's your turn to clean the dormitory tomorrow?

9. The head teacher found a girl in our class because of puppy love and asked her what the boy's name was, but the girl didn't want to say it. The head teacher said bitterly that you betrayed your teacher for a boy in a foreign teacher's class?

10. Chatting with the goddess online, my words revealed the hardships of being single for many years, and the goddess replied that this state will change soon. I was secretly pleased, but I didn't expect her to add that you will be miserable for several years soon.

1 1. The unit has a goddess sister. Single dog people are as excited as chicken blood, trying their best to get the attention of beautiful women. What I can't understand is that my colleague A not only didn't join, but also kept giving advice to B, and finally got the heart of the goddess. So I have serious doubts about A's sexual orientation. Everything was relieved until I learned that B had a sister who was more goddess than a goddess.

12. I quarreled with my boyfriend last night, and I shouted angrily: get out, you get out! ? He was also very angry and replied, OK, you say, I'll go! ? Seeing his back turned away, I couldn't help crying. As soon as he heard it, he turned around and shouted, cry my ass, work the night shift at night, and I'll come back tomorrow morning?

13. History teacher: "Let's talk about War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression. First the September 18th Incident, then what? " The whole class is thinking, the history teacher: "Of course, Lu Zhenhua and Yiping Ru Ping came to Shanghai from the northeast, met Shuhuan, and then it rained deeply?"

14. The physics teacher of Grade Two once took a class of students, and the classroom was on the second floor. Once, a classmate in their class looked around and found the physics teacher looking at them in the tree outside the window.

15. When my sister was naughty when I was a child, my mother said, How disobedient! Go find your own mother! Once my sister went to my grandmother's house in tears and insisted that she take her to her own mother. And then I lick my mom?

16. At work today, my colleague's face was a little swollen. What happened? Colleague: Oh, forget it. I met a girl last night, had dinner, watched a movie, checked in and took a shower. I jumped on her and shivered! As a result, people say, "I'm sorry, I'm not a lady." I said, "I know you are not a little sister. I am not going to give you money? " then what

17. Listen to what my mother said. Once my mother and aunt came, and there were no sanitary napkins at home. Besides her, I have a live one, so my mother gave me a few dollars to buy in a small shop in the village. Poor me, I was only five years old. After walking a few hundred meters, my memory was a little vague, so I bought a pack of monosodium glutamate.

18. Idiot goes on a blind date. Seeing the girl so beautiful and stupid, the matchmaker reminded her to talk to her. When Hall stepped forward, he held the girl's hand and didn't know what to say. Afraid of the cold scene, he said, "Happy New Year! Happy Spring Festival? "

19. When I came home from moving bricks, I saw my son watching TV. I said to him happily, "Look who has gone home." The son shouted to the kitchen, "Mom, come and see. Dad is stupid at work and doesn't know who he is."

20. A sister paper drove to work for the first time after getting a driver's license, and put her female colleague who used to ride an electric car to work together away from the green belt. When people ask her what she was thinking. Sister paper looked embarrassed and said, "I wanted to say hello to her, but I forgot that I was driving this time?"

Recommend my favorite sentences.

1. I slept in a daze last night and heard someone say, "Come on, come on." I casually said, "here's a dollar, let's go!" " Mom woke me up with two slaps. It turned out that mom was saying, "wake up."

2. I found that domestic video websites like to divide these five files into "fast and smooth HD PP", which is quite embarrassing. It is suggested that it is more reliable to honestly change these five files to "Snow mosaic can see clearly HD".

Today, my son hit a kindergarten child. I bought something to see the children. Only the mother of the child is at home. The child asked me to play hide-and-seek with her. I hid under the spring and autumn chair, just in time for her father. Her father punched me when he came up and said, how long have you been with my wife?

My wife's belly is getting bigger and bigger, so she went to gynecology. After the doctor checked, she said, there must be two little people living in your body. The wife said excitedly, are they twins? The doctor shook his head and said, no, one is "I can't eat in the trough" and "It doesn't matter if I eat more"

A friend is a junior high school teacher, and I went to visit him this day. When I entered the office, I saw him training a child: "What do you smoke at a young age!" " Child: "China."

At my brother's house, I saw my sister-in-law sitting on the sofa, and my brother and nephew knelt beside him. I asked my sister-in-law what was going on? It turned out that my brother opened a video with two mobile phones, and asked his nephew to hold the mobile phone to his chest. He went into the women's bathhouse to call his mother and kept shouting, and turned around before coming out.

7. When my little niece first saw the gecko, she was curious and reached out to touch it. As a result, the gecko's tail fell off immediately. "Oh, your tail! Don't you want your tail? " The young man picked it up and followed it out. Seeing the gecko run away, she put her tail on the ground again: "I won't chase you!" " Put it here and come and get it yourself when you have time! "

8. After the college entrance examination, I went to sell counseling books, textbooks, test papers and other waste paper. The little brother next to the tricycle said seven dollars, and he couldn't help but sigh: I bought it at a high price, and now all the waste paper is sold, which is too worthless! Little brother looked up and said casually: knowledge has been absorbed by you, and waste paper is of course worthless!

9. Arriving at the company early in the morning, a sister was kneeling on the table, gnashing her teeth and repeating "dead man, smelly man". I asked her what happened. Sister said someone confessed to her, happy! I promised in my heart, wanted to be reserved, and then said nothing. As a result, the man said to her, can you make a happy speech? If you don't agree, next!

10. Because my family is poor, I am still single, and my friend introduced me to one. My mother asked me how I was, and I said, "Not bad, just a little fat." My mother listened to my words and said earnestly, "Don't take it off, son. With the conditions of our family, it is only a matter of time before she is hungry and thin. "

1 1. Olympic news: The Russian Olympic delegation was robbed as soon as it arrived in Rio. More than 60 robbers were seriously injured, and only one Russian player was slightly injured because he stabbed himself with a bottle.

12. A man who is as strong as an iron tower never beats and scolds his emaciated daughter-in-law, never fights, or even talks. Whenever I am angry, I go to the railway station and deliberately expose my money to the outside for thieves to steal. Beating a thief is a tragedy! Over time, all the thieves in the railway station knew. When he came, he said that this grandson was angry at home, and Nima came out to find someone to vent it on!

13. After visiting the supermarket, she saw an old lady spending RMB in front of her, so she took it out and handed it to the cashier. The cashier looked at your drawer and found that there was no change, so she asked her, Aunt, do you have any? The old lady smiled from ear to ear and replied cheerfully: Not bad, I have many sons.

14. At the beginning of school, the new teacher pushed the door and came in, slapped us on the podium, looked at us coldly and said, I tell you, I never speak justice. The atmosphere in the class suddenly became a bit dignified. After a while, his expression changed. He said, Because I teach geography?

15. It's not that many men in China don't like dressing up. They are just a little biased in aesthetics and confident in honey. For example. The same is trying on clothes. My mother will ask me if it looks good, I will say it doesn't, and my mother will go back for a change until we are both satisfied. My dad asked me, do I look good? I said I didn't look good. He said you didn't know anything, and then he went out.

16. Yesterday, my niece cried to me on QQ that she broke up with her ex who had been dating for three weeks last night. She was very painful and advised me: Auntie, love hurts! Also lamented: ask the world how to teach people to live and die together! Then continue to say: 18 years old is a wise decision not to fall in love.

17. After the athletes from all countries arrived at the Rio Olympic Village, delegations from other countries made preparations to prevent things from being lost. Only the DPRK delegation was the mobilization and staff to prevent things from being lost.

18. When I came home from work today, I met my roommate and found that he smelled exactly like his girlfriend. The scum lying in the trough really paid a lot of money to seduce Lao Zi.

19. The recent weather, lying in bed, braising in soy sauce; Exaggerated mat, teppanyaki; After getting up, steam; Go out to cook; Swimming, boiling; On the way back, it blew up; Go into the house and go back to the pot. Today and tomorrow, when you go out, you should pay attention to flanging, pay attention to the heat, bring cumin and Chili powder, and don't burn it. We are streaking, we bring salt for ourselves!

20. I have nothing to do in the morning. I overheard two women chatting at the entrance of the finance room: a woman who is usually very gentle made me laugh. "My man is really difficult to serve. I think my breasts are big during the day and small at night. When the old lady inflates! "

A selection of my favorite sentences.

1, cutting short hair is not necessarily a queen, but also a female nerve. An interesting conversation about praise.

2. Who is the hair cake with clothes on? Spongebob.

If you don't like me, you can choose to commit suicide or pretend to be blind.

4. It is said that women are clothes and sisters are brands that you can't afford to wear.

5, at the beginning of life, nature is good, you pay, I eat.

6. Dreaming about dream of eating spaghetti, I woke up in the morning and found my shoelaces gone!

7. Love your country, your family and your sister, and guard against thieves.

8. It is not easy to cheat in a beautiful way. The invigilator couldn't help but take a look. No wonder it was often found that year.

9. "Treat learning as actively as chasing girls you like." "You should try to chase nine girls at the same time."

10, my father expressed his opinion on my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong was ill. An interesting conversation about praise.

1 1. After adding teacher qq, all signatures have nothing to do with love.

12, although I don't know what the math teacher said in class, I feel very powerful.

13, big brother, do you know? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

14, when you think that the person you like also likes you, it is usually that you think too much.

15, the early bird gets the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird! The latest talk about controlling classics and sharing.

16, don't fail, I want to; If I don't study, I want what I want. You can't have your cake and eat it, so I'm leaving.

17, daughter-in-law or game? Daughter-in-law is of course important, so I only dare to play games and dare not hit my daughter-in-law.

18, female colleagues, please don't discharge me. My wife has a caller ID.

19, "Why is your history blank?" "Because I think it is wrong to tamper with history."

20. Every time I do my homework, touching my mobile phone is like eating dazzling chewing gum, and I can't stop.

2 1, think about it, I will be happy from the old woman in grade three to the primary girl in grade one.

22. If the sky is sentimental and the sky is old, the object who robbed me will die early.

23. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

24, hooligans are not terrible, they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

Guess you are interested in:

1. Interesting talk about crazy homework.

Tell me something interesting about doing my homework

3. Tell me something interesting about learning

4. Talk about classic humor.