A joke that can make your stomach ache.

Want to see jokes when you are bored? Don't worry, I have carefully arranged some jokes that can make your stomach ache, hoping to help you!

Duanzi highlights

1. Do you know why Wang Laoji is so rich? Because Mr. Wang has a piece of land! Do you know why Wang Lao went to the reception office? Because Mr. Wang Lao has a courier! E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e.

2. At dusk, I jog on the road. A young man ran up from behind me and shouted in my ear. Run! What happened? I asked the young man next to me. ? Run. ? The young man ran ahead of me. I was out of breath after chasing 500 meters quickly. What the hell happened? You run too slowly. ? The young man left me and ran away.

3. One day, A was watching TV when he heard someone knocking at the door and went to open the door, but he didn't see anyone. ? Hello, can I have some water? Only then did I find a snail at the door. ? Don't! ? A kicked the snail away with an angry foot. A few years later, A was watching TV alone at home when the knock on the door rang again. A ran to open the door, and the snail said, why did you kick me just now?

4. In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn't pull it out for a long time. Just then, another man, Mr. B, rushed in and pulled up happily as soon as he squatted down. After listening, Mr. A said, Dude, I envy you. Did you have such a good time? B jun said:? What is there to envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet.

5, beautiful sister, 2 years old. One day, I called her mother and the little guy answered the phone. Out of courtesy, I also want to say hello to her. ? Honey, where's mom? She went to Huaguoshan! ? ......？ Honey, what are you doing, auntie? You are so funny. I won't call you! ?

6. Xiao Wang works in the personnel department on the 10 floor. A month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the ninth floor. Today, Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: Is Xiao Wang there? The colleague who answered the phone said: Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel. ? Xiao Wang:? UH huh? ! When did this happen? I don't know. I haven't had time to see him off. It doesn't matter. You can go down and find him.

7. A sharp turn of the road; There is a placard that says:? If your car can swim, please don't brake and go straight. ? A university doctor who just learned to drive saw this slogan and immediately turned around and drove to the car factory. He asked the manager seriously: Can your car swim? Is it amphibious?

8. There is a gentleman who pretends to be proficient in Chinese and western knowledge, but he is actually boasting everywhere. One day, his neighbor came to ask him to read a letter twice. He pretended to watch it for a long time, but in fact he didn't know anyone. He asked his neighbor: Where did this letter come from? The neighbor replied:? It comes from the south. ? Mr. Wang sighed and said with relief, alas! No wonder I don't know. It turns out that this letter was written in a southern language. ?

10 After the moral, intellectual and physical education class, the mother took her son to the countryside to see grandpa. Grandpa was very happy and asked with concern: How are you studying? Son:? I'm in grade one. ? Grandpa said: study hard. You have to study in grade one, grade fifteen, and read every day to study well. ?

1 1, young woman, her husband will be a lover during the day and spend the night outside. She cried and said, God, why don't you open your eyes! Cheating with my husband. ? The son said:? God is still awake, mom. ? She said:? I'm going to cry. Let God handle your father's affairs. ? The son said:? Dad's business is in the charge of the railway bureau chief! ! ! ?

12, pick up girls, meeting place, a buddy quietly sat over, took out his mobile phone and asked MM:? What is the vibration mode of the mobile phone? MM:？ Meeting mode. ? He said:? I switch to conference mode, please dial it for me to see if there is any vibration. ? Then, he reported his number? His cell phone rang happily when I called him. Before MM could react, he transferred to her number:? What's your name?

13. My friend went for an intravenous drip when he was ill. In a hurry, he accelerated the speed of intravenous drip! When the doctor saw it, he slowed down, and when the doctor left, he adjusted it again. The doctor didn't want to speed up, but he wouldn't listen. The doctor roared: You are in a hurry, so drink! ? The boyfriend said anxiously:? That won't do! What if you open the lid and have another bottle?

14、? Mom, is there a ghost in this world, silly boy? Of course not. ? But there are fires everywhere in the street. ? That's a jack-o'-lantern, which is caused by the reaction of phosphorus in the body with water or alkali and the spontaneous combustion of phosphine after death. ? But there is also a suit floating with the fire. ? Let me see. Oh, that's Lord Bao on patrol with lanterns. ?

15, shortly after the wedding, my mother came to the house and found it was a mess. He severely scolded his wife, who was very wronged. After her mother left, she grabbed her cell phone and called her mother-in-law to complain? Crying for a long time, the other party didn't say a word. The last sentence is:? Call again after reading the number next time. I'm your mother-in-law ?

16, my classmates asked me: How do you say crabs in Wenling dialect? I said:? Huh? . She repeated: How do you say crab in your dialect? I said:? Huh? . She is very helpless: how do you say fish in your dialect? Me:? Hmm? (nasal). She said:? I mean, in your dialect? Fish? What did you say?/Sorry? Me:? Yeah, and then she ignored me?

17, my newly-married little wife and I were walking in the street, and all the beautiful women around us were wearing hot clothes. I deliberately said: look at that girl, how good she is! Look at this fart! ? Then my wife told me not to show off in an ostentatious manner. She yelled at the beautiful girl next to her. Sister, someone is looking at your ass. ?

18, 12 I slept soundly last night, and my mobile phone called, and I barely answered it. I'm confused. Say? who is it? , she said? I'm in the toilet. Can you bring me some toilet paper? . I said? It is too late today. Tomorrow. ? And then I hung up. Get up in the morning and be abused by roommates.

19, father and son sell meat. Father:? When customers come to buy meat, they should say something nice, which will always sell more. ? The son nodded. After a while, a customer came to buy meat, looked at it and said that the pigskin was so thick that it must be female pork. ? The son did not forget his father's teaching and immediately said:? Oh, dear! You are such an expert. You can tell at a glance.

20. What was the signature of a male married junior high school student on qq the day before yesterday? Maybe, I don't love you as much as I thought? . What was his signature document yesterday? Honey, am I wrong? . What is today's signature document? I'm homeless recently, and I'm looking for a good-hearted person to take me in? .

1. China people, Americans and Jews drink together. Three flies flew into their drinks. Americans drank an important drink, but China ignored it and drank it. The Jew caught the fly and shouted, spit it out, spit out your drink! ?

After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. The wife is not only not afraid, but also speaks softly. Mao Ge, stop screaming. My husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet. ?

The father said sternly to his daughter's boyfriend. You only take my daughter to the movies every day, can't you do something else? The young man was surprised and happy: You mean what else can you do?

Grandma exclaimed after watching the Olympic 100-meter race. It's so scary! Several coal diggers knelt in a row, one with a gun to shoot. They shot without aiming, and the children scared that one away! The rope can't stop! ?

A foreign tourist visited the orchard and bragged while walking. In our country, oranges look like football and banana trees look like iron towers. ? He tripped over a pile of watermelons. A fruit grower shouted: Be careful of our grapes! ?

6. Being hungry and doing well is called losing weight; If you pinch well, it is called massage; Being in a daze, doing well is called profound; Being lazy and doing well is called enjoyment; Persistence is called persistence when it is done well.

7. Two birds saw a hunter aiming at them. One said, you protect the scene and I will call the police! ?

8. Two drunks were driving at a gallop. A:? Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead. ? b:？ What? Don't you drive?

9. A farmer's daughter is so ugly that he has to let her be a scarecrow in the corn field to scare crows. As a result, not only did she scare away the crows, but even three crows were scared to send some corn back.