Looking for cheapskate jokes

One less egg to boil

There was a man who woke up in the morning and found that his wife had passed away.

At first, he turned pale with fright, but then he ran downstairs in shorts and loudly

shouted: "Alian! Alian!"

Alian was his maid. She was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. When she heard her master calling, she hurriedly asked: "Sir, what's the matter?"

The man replied: "One less egg to boil this morning!"

Refuse to add sugar

A certain man was very rich, but also very stingy. Once, he was seriously ill, and the doctor prescribed medicine to use ginseng. He said: "I can't afford ginseng, so I'll just leave it to fate."

The doctor changed his mind and said: " Then you can use cooked land."

He still shook his head: "Cooked land is also very expensive, I can't afford it. I'll just die."

The doctor wanted money at the expense of his life. There was really no other way, so he said casually: "Also

There is a recipe, which is to mix dry dog ??feces with brown sugar and drink it. It can also cure your disease."

This person said Listen, he jumped up and asked urgently: "Is it okay to just use dog shit without adding sugar?"

Watch the fish and eat the food

There once was a rich man who was very stingy and treated himself badly. My family is no exception. One day when eating

dinner, the two sons served the rice and asked their father what vegetables to use with the meal. The father hung a salted fish on the wall and said to his sons: "Just take a look at the fish and eat a bite of rice." The sons had no choice but to eat like this.

Suddenly, the two brothers started to argue. The father asked why, and the younger brother complained and said, "Brother took another look at Xianyu just now." When the father heard this, he was furious and said, "Leave him alone, you will kill this glutton." ”

Frugal people

Two women are talking about their frugality.

"My fan," said one of them, "has been used for twenty years. This is how I use it: Divide it into four parts and use five Years."

"That's nothing," the other woman said with contempt. "My fan has been with me all my life. When I use it, I unfold it. Under my nose, and then shook my head

"

Thinking of it

A certain rich man was extremely stingy and only had three meals a day. Serve rice with salt water.

Someone walked up to him and told him: "Your son is out whoring and gambling, spending money like water!

Are you still so frugal?" Upon hearing this, the rich man said with a heart. :

"Okay! From now on I will buy a piece of tofu for every meal and enjoy it..."

Don't say anything

A man passed by a miser's house. Seeing a group of geese standing by the wall, I pounced on it

I caught the biggest one, hid it under my robe, and hurried away.

After walking for a long time, the big goose made no sound at all. He felt strange and wanted to see what happened. He turned into an empty alley, pulled up his robe a little, and saw the goose raising its head and making a habitual "shhhhhhhhh" sound. He happily said to the goose: "You I'm so sorry

People call you stupid geese, but you are actually smarter than me. I pulled up my robe and was about to

tell you not to say anything, but you Said it before me!"