I want to perform a one-man sketch for the company's anniversary.

The latest 100 sentence in 2008, awesome.

1, two farmers play with pigs

2. Kill the bird man, I am an angel!

3, handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

Live well, because we will die for a long time! ! !

5. Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?

6. My girlfriend asked me what I would do if she died. I said firmly: I won't live alone (find another job). She is so happy ~!

7. Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature.

We should keep quiet when listening to the lecture in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

9. Accompany chatting and provide on-site service at night. (epitaph)

10, people are not smart and bald! !

1 1, you are electricity, Li Siguang, you are the only myth …

12, stupid people are terrible not because they are stupid, but because they are smart.

13 I always wander between A Niu and Niu C.

14, not afraid of being used, afraid of being useless.

15, so many people despise me, who are you?

16, weeding at noon, bow and shoot big carvings.

17, the hair is gone and dandruff is more prominent!

18, don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do.

19, I'd rather have a fight with a wise man than talk to sb!

20. A big woman can't have no electricity for a day, and a little woman can't have no money for a day!

2 1, I would be embarrassed if I was negative that day; If you let me down, I will waver!

22. If the garden can't be closed in spring, I will draw an almond out of the wall.

23, so to make you feel comfortable, take off your pants that you often pull.

24, life since ancient times who has not died, ah, nonsense paperless.

25. Steamed steamed buns are not for breath?

26. His knife is cold, his sword is cold, his heart is cold and his blood is cold. Shit, isn't this man dead?

27, the greatness of life, die under the flower!

28. If I lose this life, then I don't want the afterlife.

29. I love you What do you care?

30. Women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

3 1, take the newspaper to the toilet, I am a scholar.

32. Chopin of Niu B can't play the sadness of Lao Zi!

33. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? ! !

34. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.

35. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?

You may not study hard, but you must not review well.

37. I learned a sentence from a friend: I'll give you ten words-how far the fuck is it, how far the fuck is it ~ I remember the first time he said this sentence to a group of us, I saw everyone below posting ten words. ...

The best way to deal with those who use silence to cover up their ignorance is to deal with a man as he deals with you.

39. I was nervous for the first time. He always let me relax gently, and then he stuck me in my body. There is blood, and the pain is speechless. Only then did I understand ... blood donation is like this!

40, even believe in advertisements, you are stupid to read!

4 1. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

42. The reason of constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

43. The system actually suspects that I am watering, and there is no faucet around me. Oh … I see, I have a …

I don't know whether I went to college or the college fucked me.

45. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.

46. Pain is an enjoyment that only sober people can enjoy …

47. Some people say that if you have a child, you won't have dysmenorrhea. Have one!

48. The more money you spend, the closer you get to the bed.

49. It's easy to quit smoking, but it's too difficult to quit you!

50, to mix in the rivers and lakes, it is best to be single! !

5 1, plug jack, socket jack!

52. Choose a mature woman with a good skirt.

53. For the rich, everything is fine if it ends well.

54. What is love in the world? Everything has its vanquisher.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

56. I am Jesus, his son, Coconut ~!

57. University is learning!

58. I have a left Qinglong, a right White Tiger and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

59, BMW didn't touch me, msn touched you to death!

60, life can be done, life can also be exquisite!

6 1, other people's money and wealth are all things other than me.

62. I can't afford to sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

63. I am the most honest person. Never lie. Except this sentence.

64. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of having a brain is that you must have a brain.

65. I've been really busy recently, and it's hard to guarantee even one 16 hours' sleep!

Don't wash it, but for the mud, this broken car would have fallen apart a long time ago.

67. Lingling, Lingling, and another ice cream.

68, the cold of three friends-hot pot, cabbage, hot bed.

69. I didn't mean to be different, how can I have outstanding taste!

70. Big Brother, I heard that the meat of Second Brother is more expensive than that of Master ~ ~

7 1, why do you need to sleep for a long time when you are alive and sleep when you are dead?

72. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a 100 yuan, hold down "CTRL-C" and then hold down "CTRL-V".

73, women are pleasing to themselves, and men are pleasing to themselves!

74. The professor gave a lecture on organic chemical polymers on the platform. He first drew a "phthalein" on the blackboard and said to everyone, "This is a eunuch. Let's give him a methyl group. " ...

75, bald donkey, dare to rob the teacher with being original?

76. When a man says inner beauty, he means inside the bra, not inside.

77. I said to the buddy sitting next to me ~ ~ You are only one step away from genius ~ ~

78. It is gold, which will always be spent; This is a mirror, it always reflects light …

79. Who can not shoot for 90 minutes ~ ~ China national football team ~ ~

80. If I give you a pair of wings, you should be braised …

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

82. What's the use of being handsome? Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

83. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

84, face first, unable to return to heaven.

85. A woman said to a man, Come to my house and I'll give you something to eat.

86. It's not that you don't laugh. When you laugh, the powder falls off!

87, high is high, it is a straw bag; Short is short and can stand stepping on; Being thin means being thin and muscular.

88. Only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find!

89. There are three kinds of things that hurt people: annoyance, quarrel and empty wallet. The most hurtful thing is an empty wallet.

90, driving is not difficult, I am afraid there will be new people!

9 1, when arguing with others, take a step back; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

92. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years.

93. I am an actor. I turn my eyes when I see beautiful mm …

94, god wants to make people perish, must first make it crazy; God wants people to be crazy. He wants them to buy a house first.

95. When the sky falls, you hug me, hehe. ...

96. The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke!

97. Don't be the next, be the first.

98. I'd rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

99. Today, a group of Japanese came to visit our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen a Japanese in clothes!

100, after studying for more than ten years, it is better to mix in kindergarten!

It's so rape ~ (praise sb ~)

I saw the meal I ate the day before yesterday ~ ~ (vomit ~ ~)

Worship you! Orz (worship! )

That's all I can think of at present ~