Mental patients are laughed at. The child doesn't know whose it is.

1. A plane flew over a mental hospital. The driver suddenly laughed. The stewardess asked curiously, "Why are you laughing so happily?"

The driver replied, "If they know I ran away, they will go crazy."

2. A reporter interviewed the director of a mental hospital: "What method do you use to determine whether the patient is fully recovered?"

The dean said, "Give him a test: We put a spoon and a big bowl next to a bathtub filled with water so that they can drain the water from the bathtub."

The reporter said disapprovingly: "Of course it is a big bowl!"

The director looked at him and said slowly, "Normal people pull the plug."

In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's wrong with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? "

4. A patient shouted, "I am the dean, and you all have to listen to me!"

The attending doctor asked him, "Who said that?"

He replied, "God said."

Then a patient next to him jumped up and said, "I never said that!" " "

5. In order to prevent patients from escaping, many hospitals with severe mental patients built a high wall of 100 floor around the hospital.

One night, two patients met and ran away. When they climbed the ninety-ninth wall, one said to the other, "Brother, I'm so tired. How are you? Can you still climb? " The other replied, "Brother, I can't do it either. Why don't we give up? " "good! Then let's climb back! "

There are two people sitting on a bench in the park. One is reading newspapers, and the other is fishing alone. So many people were watching, and the policeman who came running said to the newspaper reader, "Is this man fishing your friend?"

The man reading the newspaper said, "Yes, yes, I'm sorry. As you can see, his nerves are not normal. "

The policeman said, "Since he is a patient, don't let him come outside."

People who read newspapers repeatedly say, "OK, OK, I'll take him home."

Then he made the action of rowing to walk.

7. In the lounge of a mental hospital, one patient handed a book to another patient and said, "I have read your masterpiece, which is very wonderful. My only suggestion is can you reduce the number of people who appear? " "Oh, of course I will seriously consider your professional opinion."

At this time, a nurse came up and said, "My advice is that if you don't want to be put back in the ward, don't play with the phone book casually!" " "

8. Male mental patient: "I'll tell you a secret."

Female mental patient: "What secret."

Male neurosis: "I am God."

Female mental patient: "Nonsense! I am the virgin Mary, but I have never given birth to your son! "

9. A mental patient takes a bottle to the zoo to see bears every day. His family was worried and went to the doctor. The doctor said that to cure his illness, we must first get close to him and understand his thoughts.

So the doctor followed him to see the bear every day, and they stayed in prison for two months.

Finally, the patient asked the doctor, "Do you also want to throw sulfuric acid at the bear?"

10? Doctor: This is a decoction.

Patient: How long will it take?

Doctor: 15 minutes.

Patient: Oh, how much oil do you want?