What kind of experience was it to be bullied by boys as a child?

When I was in primary school, I was often bullied by the boys in my class, probably because I was weak and had no aura to speak and do things. Either the table was kicked over on the ground or the schoolbag was thrown on the ground. The most frightening thing is that if those boys walk behind in groups, one or two will suddenly run up and pull their braids, with a few ugly words; Or suddenly push one of the boys on me ......

I clearly remember that during a lunch break, everyone came to school after dinner. I sat alone in my seat. At that time, there were not many girls in my class. I sat in my seat and wrote something. Several boys who were the king in the class came in talking and laughing. After a while, they came to surround me and said some words. Later, somehow, I pushed a talkative boy in our class on me and let him hug me. I was so scared that I didn't know what to do. I just stood there crying and said that I would sue the teacher. I thought it might scare them off, at least make them afraid, but instead of being afraid, they became more arrogant and kept saying hurtful things. Finally, I don't know how to throw caution to the wind, so I ran directly to the office and told the class teacher that the class teacher reprimanded them in front of the whole class during the lunch break.

After that, something similar happened to me over and over again, being scolded, pigtailed, undressed and chased. At that time, I felt that I had to do things carefully every day. I even tried to please the people in my class in disguise with a false face of fake good people. I deliberately said something to please them by keeping a diary, such as: They are actually good people, and I hope they can be admitted to No.12 Middle School and study in a good school. Because I know they will read it, and they always look through my diary when I'm away. At that time, I was naive to think that as long as I was kind to them and seemed to stand with them and didn't provoke them, I wouldn't be bullied again. In fact, what I have done has not changed the status quo. People who like me bully me, and people who don't like me still bully me.

I know that no matter what age, there were classmates who bullied others. Now I think it may be very relieved. I think that at that time, I was young and ignorant, and everyone didn't know what harm their actions would do to others. But I want to say that this kind of thing happened to everyone who was very hurt. I hated myself at that time and felt so cowardly at that time. Why didn't I dare to resist when I met something? Can't you be domineering and fight them? Everything I experienced in primary school has had an impact on my later life, whether it is my personality or my way of doing things. When I was in junior high school and high school, I was always the kind of cautious in primary school, caring about what others thought of me, and I was timid and afraid of things, even though I was very disgusted. Just like a person, if you believe that a mode will make you in a safer state, you will not hesitate to choose this mode and open it naturally. My mode is to put myself in a weak position. It is a double-edged sword, with good and bad, and bad is greater than good, but I didn't know it at that time.

I think, if I have to choose again, I will rise up and resist. I will not choose to shrink into a ball and be cautious. I will tear at them like some girls in my class, even if I am laughed at or lost.