Classic joke

1. A gentleman stays in a hotel and calls the bar at midnight: How much is the cheapest lady? A: "One hundred, but ugly, beautiful five hundred." Some gentleman said to be ugly. After the young lady came, a gentleman let her sit naked on the sofa and went to bed to sleep soundly until dawn. The young lady asked inexplicably, "Why did you call me here?" A gentleman replied, "There are too many mosquitoes in the room!"

(Editor's note, as long as I change my mind, any resource can be used by me. )

2. A woman is so ugly that ghosts run away when they see her. A poor designer made it into a new year's picture, and the advertising words were: hanging the door to avoid evil; Hang the bed, contraception! This designer won the prize and entered a well-off class.

3. A mosquito entered the city and was very hungry. Seeing a young lady with towering breasts, she plunged into a fierce bite. As a result, her mouth was full of silicone, so she sighed, "Alas, food safety is too problematic! Where can I find safe milk? "

4. The plowman went to the city to buy condoms and forgot what condoms said. Wandering around the pharmacy counter for a long time, I still can't remember. Finally, I had to ask the salesgirl in a low voice: Miss, do you sell plastic bags with JB?

5. When two lovers make love, the man always likes to say, "I'm going to kill you!" I haven't seen you for a few days. The woman found a male unit and the male asked, What's the matter? Female softly: "Nothing's wrong, just don't want to live ..." < P > 6. A group of women are waiting for the B-ultrasound examination, and the nurse shouted: Line up, the station of Cai B is on the left; Black and white B stands on the right. A woman didn't understand. She opened her skirt and took off her underwear. She asked the nurse, What do you think of mine? The nurse said grumpily, you are cow B!

7. The hen complained to the bull: "It's unfair that humans let me lay more eggs but they plan their own family!" The old cow said, "What the hell are you? People all over the world drink my wife's milk, who TM calls me dad! "

8. A blind couple agreed to make love signals, and the man said, "Play cards." The woman said, "Go." Young people next door often hear playing cards and wonder how blind people can play cards. So I peeped, and I saw that. One day, the young man sneaked into his house while the blind man was out, and said to the blind woman, "Play cards." The blind woman said, "Go." So two people * * *. Young people have great skills, and at the climax, the blind woman even boasted: "Good cards." In the evening, the blind man wanted to play cards with his wife again, and the blind woman said, "Didn't you play once during the day?" Hearing this, the male blind man was anxious and angry and exclaimed, "No, someone stole the card!" "

9. When the female leader came home at night, she was suddenly picked up by two men. One man threatened to say, "Be honest, rob the woman." The female leader laughed and scolded: "Damn, such a happy thing made me so nervous and scared to death. I thought I was double-detained!"

1. The car married the train, but soon divorced. Everyone asked why, and the car said sadly, "He is worried that I will be hit every day, and I am always afraid that he will cheat. I can't stand it!"

11. A village head was wearing shorts to give a report. When talking about excitement, he put one foot on the table, and his little brother was accidentally exposed. He thought that everyone was impatient and said: This is the head, and the long one is yet to come!

13. Three men talk about their sexual ability together. A: I do it once every three days! B: Three times a day! A had to admit defeat, but when C spoke, even B was frightened. C: I spent three days at a time ...

14. A macho man came home by bus, and the kind female conductor saw that his zipper was not zipped up, reminding him: Comrade, you didn't put your gun away properly, so be careful to go off. The macho man laughed and said, Never mind, the bullet has just been finished.

15. One day, the father took his son to take a bath, and his son accidentally fell from the top. In a hurry, he grabbed his father's lower part, and the painful father shouted and scolded: If you follow your mother, you will die.

16. My sister is on a business trip. In the evening, my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law are chatting in the living room. My brother-in-law asks, "How much do you pay after tax? "Sister-in-law blushed and whispered," Sleeping with my brother-in-law also brings money.