I am often unhappy recently. Can you tell me some jokes about Doby?

1. Once I was in the toilet and ran out of paper, I said to my wife, "Bring me my paper-wiping ass!"

2. Colleagues argued with others, and when they opened their mouths in a hurry, they said, "You think I grew up eating! ？” I've always wondered what he grew up eating.

3. A group of students went to their homes in the suburbs to play. We bought some watermelons to put in the kitchen. I asked a classmate to get a knife and cut it. I haven't seen it for a long time. While wondering, he came back with a cut melon in his hand and said in panic, "I cut the pumpkin!" " Everyone laughed wildly, but two seconds later, everyone laughed even more. It turned out that he was holding a melon in his hand!

4. My middle school physics teacher once said, "If you squeeze the pig eggs on the mountain ..." He wanted to say that the eggs should be cooked.

5. It's bad. It's not just my own bad luck, but anyone who is good to me or I am good to anyone will be unlucky.

1. When I was born, it happened that the midwife was lovelorn. Because I didn't cry at the first time, she beat me up.

2. When I was one year old, I just learned to crawl around the house, and I found a rat trap under my bed. It is said that the rat trap was bought for two years, and it was my hand that caught me for the first time.

3. When I was two years old, I learned to walk. Playing hide-and-seek with my parents at home. I hid under my bed and stepped on another rat trap. It is said that this mousetrap has been bought back for three years, and it was my leg that was caught for the first time.

4. When I was three years old, I wanted to go down the stairs. The old lady Zhang next door said that she would lead me down the stairs so as not to fall. As a result, she fell down the stairs before she finished speaking. From the fourth floor down the stairs to the first floor, directly into the stage of Alzheimer's disease.

5. When I was four years old, my police uncle led me across the street, and I didn't say thank you. He was hit across the street by a motorcycle, and he was disabled for the first time.

6. When I was five years old, my father sent me to kindergarten. My aunt in kindergarten praised me for being beautiful. Just after I finished, a vase fell from the fifth floor and directly hit my aunt's skull.

7. When I was six years old, I went to the zoo for the first time. I said, that male panda looks better than that female panda. The next day, the panda I praised died in dystocia.

8. When I was seven years old, I went to primary school. In the final exam, the math teacher said that I got 59 points, even if I got 6 points. The next day, the math teacher died in a car accident.

9. When I was eight years old, I praised the girl in our class for being so beautiful. Five minutes later, the girl caught a rare meteor shower.

1. When I was nine years old, I learned to rob. I robbed a five-year-old child in the road. As a result, he was severely beaten by him. He claimed to be a lay disciple of Shaolin Temple.

11. When I was ten years old, Xiao Pang and I went to the toilet together. Xiao pang praised me for my handsome appearance in the toilet. I was just about to say thank you. Xiao pang has fallen into the toilet.

12. When I was eleven years old, my teacher asked me how much Sanqi was, and I said Sanqi 21. The teacher said, you are so smart. Then, the rare meteor shower came again ...

13. At the age of twelve, the primary school graduation exam. The invigilator said to me, hurry up, time is running out. I said, thank you for reminding me. Just after that, the electric fan above the teacher fell off ...

14. When I was thirteen, I was in junior high school. My previous experience scared no one to approach me. Only a so-called bold wang xing classmate told me: I don't believe you can recite like this. In the afternoon, Wang Dan was chased by two bulls for eight blocks.

15. At the age of fourteen, the teacher asked us to write a composition entitled Our Bridge. I mentioned in my composition that the bridge in the city is magnificent ... The next day, when I went to class, I found that the bridge suddenly collapsed.

16. When I was fifteen, I fell in love with a girl. I dare not say it for fear of hurting her. But I couldn't control myself. Finally, I chose a sunny day to confess to her in the open playground of the school. According to the weather forecast, there will never be a meteor shower that day. But when I confessed, the earthquake happened, and I watched the girl cry and fall into the fissure ... < P > When I was sixteen, I was in high school. I like playing football, and the opposing goalkeeper praised me for playing well. Then, the goal suddenly collapsed ...

18. At the age of seventeen, I followed the crowd to watch the scene of jumping off a building. As a result, I was crushed by him ... Two months later, he and I were both discharged from the hospital. At the gate of the inpatient department, he said thank you for saving him. So he was crushed by another jumper, and this time he didn't survive ...

19. At the age of eighteen, I became an adult. The first time I went to the bank to withdraw money, I met a robber who robbed the bank. The lady at the counter said, Shh … Don't make any noise, or the robbers will kill people. After saying his word, the counter girl was beaten into a twist by robbers ...

At the age of 2. At the age of 19, the head teacher of the university encouraged me to study hard and make progress every day. So, the meteor shower that I hadn't seen for years came again ...

At the age of 21. At the age of 2, I told my classmates that flying was safer than taking the train. Then, the plane began to fall ...

22. When I was twenty-one, I told my father that I would definitely visit the Twin Towers in America if I had the chance. Then, 911 happened ...

On 23rd 22nd, my colleagues and I made a bet that China would definitely get good results in the World Cup. So ...

Later, I was invited to attend a national seminar with the theme "Why am I so unlucky?". When I submitted my story to the organizing committee, the theme changed to "Why am I so lucky". I'll sit in.