Jokes about "mental hospital"

Patient: I always thought I was a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start?

Patient: Because I am a bird.

A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient, What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?

The patient replied, then I can't hear you.

The doctor listened: mm-hmm. This is normal. The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again?

& gt& gt The patient replied, then I won't watch it.

Dr.>& gt is getting nervous: How can you not see it?

& gt& gt The patient replied: Because glasses will fall off.

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& gt& gt Two mental patients escaped from the hospital.

& gt& gt They ran and climbed a tree.

& gt& gt One of them jumped off the tree and rolled and rolled.

& gt& gt Then he looked up and said to the man above, Hey … Why don't you come down …?

The people above & gt& gt answered him: No ... OK ... ...

& gt& gt I'm not familiar with it. ...

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& gt& gt There is an old lady in a mental hospital, who wears black clothes and holds a black umbrella every day and squats in the mental hospital.

& gt& gt is at the gate of the yard.

Dr.>& gt thought: To cure her, we must start with understanding her.

& gt& gt So the doctor dressed in black, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

& gt& gt The two men were silent for a month.

& gt& gt The old lady finally said to the doctor, I'm sorry. ...

& gt& gt Are you a mushroom, too?

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& gt& gt(5)

& gt& gt A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called a meeting of patients in the hospital at the meeting.

Dean & gt& gt said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will meet them at the door. Zaihuan

& gt When greeting, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. As soon as I cough, everyone plays drums together.

& gt& gt Palm, the warmer the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready,

& gt& gt We can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, everyone has no buns to eat. Remember.

& gt& gt Have you finished? "The patients in the audience shouted together:" Remember! "

& gt& gt This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the popular patient was already standing at the door.

& gt& gt At that time, with the cough of the hospital director, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. Visiting leaders

& gt& gt was infected by the warm atmosphere, with a smile on his face. He applauded and walked into the hospital with everyone. See the leader has entered the doctor.

The president of the>& gt hospital stamped his foot, and all the applause stopped, neatly. Only this leader is still playing drums with a smile.

Dean & gt& gt felt very satisfied when he walked forward. Suddenly, a disease as strong as Schwarzenegger emerged from the welcome crowd.

& gt& gt, strode to the front of the leader, swung Yuan and gave him a big slap in the face, and shouted angrily, "Don't think about it!

& gt chi steamed bun

& gt& gt son? ! ! ! "

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& gt& gt(6)

& gt& gt Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office and went back to the ward. Ask B: "What do you think I have finished recently?"

& gt This

& gt& gt How about this novel? "

& gt& gt B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, there are just a few more roles. "

& gt& gt At this moment, the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" "

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The doctor in the>& gt mental hospital wants to talk to a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has already

& gt& gt has fully recovered.

Dr.>& gt: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

& gt& gt Patient: Smash all the windows in your hospital with stones.

Dr.>& gt heard this and found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. A few months later,

& gt& gt Later, the doctor felt that the patient seemed to be discharged from the hospital and decided to talk to him again.

Dr.>& gt: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

& gt& gt Patient: Get a job.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: Making money.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: Save money.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: Marry a wife.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: The bridal chamber.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: Take off her clothes.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: Take off her pants.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: Take off her underwear.

Dr.>& gt: And then what?

& gt& gt Patient: Take out the rubber bands on your underwear, make a slingshot, and find some stones to cover all the windows in your hospital.

& gt& gt This department is finished.

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& gt& gt(8)

& gt& gt Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time, and their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you

& gt If one person is ill, another person will take him to the hospital at once. "

& gt& gt Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Oh, no, Mr. B started this morning."

& gt started crawling in my toilet, not that he was my toilet. "

& gt& gt "Quick, send him here quickly!"

& gt& gt A gentleman was silent for a moment: "So ... I don't have a toilet?"

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