Seek joke stories, small humor and small jokes

A construction worker went to see a doctor because of severe constipation.

The doctor checked and said, "It's easy. Get down on the bed!

Then the doctor took out a wooden stick and gave the builder a good ass with all his strength.

grab the builder again and throw it into the toilet!

The builder wailed for a long time, and gradually his voice dropped and he gave a happy laugh.

The contented builder went out of the toilet and thanked the doctor.

The doctor wrote a prescription and asked the builder to get the medicine. As a result, he got a big bag of toilet paper.

The female pharmacist kindly told him, "The doctor asked me to tell you to use toilet paper instead of cement bags after going to the toilet."

I am a principled cold winter, and two beggars are wandering in the street.

"I'm so hungry, I feel I can eat a cow now!" " Beggar A said.

"Me, too. I'm starving. If the pole in front of us can eat, I can definitely eat it from the root to the top." Beggar B is not to be outdone.

They passed by a pub. I don't know who drank too much in the pub. Maybe the wind cooled his stomach and left a vomit in front of the pub. Two beggars were staring blankly at the vomit.

"To be honest, I really want to eat this vomit." Beggar A just said.

"I'm hungry, too, but it's someone else's vomit. It's disgusting." Beggar B is a little embarrassed.

"I don't care, will you eat?" , beggar a asked.

"It's disgusting. If you don't eat, you have to be a beggar!" Beggar B righteously.

"I can eat alone? ！” After that, Beggar A leaned over and began to eat vomit.

After a while, Beggar A finished eating, and they walked on.

Maybe it's winter. The vomit was so cold that Beggar A's stomach seemed a little too much to eat, but he still resisted, but it was vomit after all. Beggar A couldn't help feeling a little sick when he thought of it. Beggar B, on the other hand, is even more hungry and a little regretful.

After a while, Beggar A couldn't help it. "Wow ... Wow ..." Beggar A vomited, too.

At this time, Beggar B quickly leaned down and began to eat Beggar A's vomit.

"hey, hey, aren't you disgusting? Why do you also eat vomit? " Beggar A asked incredulously.

"Idiot, I have principles. I only eat hot food. Besides, isn't this stall more than the one just now?"

Beggar B said without looking up.

My colleague has to go to kidney calculi and rest at home. His little nephew asked what kidney calculi was, and he said that a stone came out when he peed. His little nephew was very worried and said, Uncle, when you pee, you must put your feet apart, so be careful not to hit your feet!

One day, I saw a pair of twins, SO cute,

but I couldn't tell the size

So I asked: Which one of you is older and who is younger?

The girl said mysteriously: Guess who is our brother and sister ~! !

I took my three-year-old daughter for a walk in the park at night, and there were two lovers hugging and kissing in the shade.

My daughter looked at it for a while, turned her head and said to me affirmatively, "Mom, they must be stealing something good."

Ming Ming is five years old, and as soon as he learned to count, he called for a question. His father said to him, "Make your own question and do the math yourself."

Ming Ming thought about it and said, "Shampoo+Massage+Back Treading =18, Hair Dyeing+Sauna+Mask = 2"

Everyone was stunned at first, and then they laughed.

Child: "Mom, what is this?"

mom: "this is rat poison."

Child: "Mom, is our mouse sick?"

A child who likes small classes very much

has been teasing him

and asking him: What's mom's name

She finally spat out the name of * * *

"So, what's dad's name?

I saw that he was in high spirits and said two words unambiguously: Husband

One of her colleagues had a 6-year-old daughter who started to change her teeth. Her mother took her back to work after pulling out her teeth. My mother asked her, "Does the tooth still hurt?" The little girl's answer made all the people around her laugh: "Oh, my tooth was left in the hospital. I don't know if it hurts!" "

A father once asked his children

Who is in charge at home?

"Dad, he is the head of the family."

Mother knew

and asked him, "Who's in charge at home? Good point, buy you candy. "

The child said, "It's mom, it's mom."

"Didn't you say that dad is the head of the family?"

"But mom is the neck of the family, so turn her head that way ~ ~ ~ ~ ~"

Occasionally, a male colleague was drinking and eating in a roadside restaurant, and when he saw a little girl in her early third year, he went up to tease her, "Little sister, will you play with you?" The little girl looked at him and said, "No, mom said that the little girl should play with the little girl. You take off your pants and let me see! " =_=#

When my son was 4 years old, he saw a frog jumping. He jumped like this frog, jumped a few times, stood up and said, How tired! ! ! It's hard to be a frog. I have to jump like this every day.

I almost fainted after reading the MAIL given by my friend, which guarantees authenticity and originality.

I was listening to the radio in the dormitory that day, and I heard a very young girl order songs for her mother. She said that her mother

was very hard and couldn't rest on Sundays, so she wanted to buy a lot of problem sets for her to do in the bookstore, so she wanted to

order one for her mother.

When the host heard this, he was moved to say,' What a sensible child. What song do you want to order for your mother?

The little girl said in a childish voice,' I want to order Winnie Hsin's Why Women Difficult Women'

1. Why is the silkworm baby rich? ==> Because it will cocoon (thrifty)

2. Why doesn't the white rabbit marry the zebra? ==> Because mother rabbit says tattoos are not good children

3. When can Taiwan Province be unified? ==> When buying instant noodles (unified instant noodles)

4. What line does the monkey dislike? ==> Parallel lines (because there is no intersection <: Banana > )

5. Chocolate fights with tomatoes. Why does chocolate win? ==> Because of chocolate bars

6. What happens when sharks eat mung beans? ==> Turned into a mung bean shark

7. After the match burned, it went to the hospital. What did it become? ==> Cotton swabs

8. How did Lin Daiyu die? ==> Fell to death (a sister Lin fell from the sky)

9. A pig said, "Come on", hit a food? ==> Chocolate (encouraging)

1. The potato stabbed the steamed stuffed bun fatally. What happened? ==> Turned into a bean paste (killing) bag

11. What animal likes to stick on the wall? ==> Seals (newspaper)

12. Why do foxes often wrestle? ==> Because the fox is very cunning (with slippery feet)

13.4 people are playing mahjong in the house, why did the police come and take away 5 people ==> Because the person they hit is called "Mahjong"

14. When do you like to drink soda? ==> When you are lonely (when you are lonely, you will feel like soda)

15. An egg went to the teahouse for tea. What happened later? ==> As a result, it turned into a tea egg

16. There was a male deer, and he walked faster and faster. What happened in the end? ==> It turned into an expressway

17. One day Mung Bean committed suicide and jumped off the fifth floor, bleeding a lot. What happened? ==> Turned into a red bean

18. Why doesn't the plane hit the stars when it flies so high? ==> Because the stars will shine.

19. Corn wants to pursue fashion and has a perm. What's the result? ==> Turned into popcorn

2. What mouse walks on two feet? ==> Mickey mouse

21. Then what kind of duck walks on two feet? ==> All ducks walk on two feet.

22. Miss's business is not good now, why? ==> Avian influenza

23. What kind of people can't work in gas stations? ==> A glib person (the oil gun slips off)

24. Are the dumplings boys or girls? ==> Boys because dumplings have foreskin

25. People in golden clothes ==> A surprised (golden) person

26. A bee stung on the calendar ==> Wind (bee) and sunny (calendar)

27. A bear comes ==> Come prepared (bear comes)

28. The mobile phone must not fall into the toilet ==> It's now or never (wet)

29. There are ten sheep, and nine are squatting in the sheepfold ==> Cadence (one sheep squats wrong)

3. How to make the sparrow quiet? ==> Press it (silence)

31. What is the transparent sword? ==> Invisible (sword)

32. What does the chief of African cannibals eat? A: Eating people, should the chief be vegetarian? ==> Vegetable eater

33. Why are there no dinosaurs now? ==> The dinosaur went to make a movie.

34. Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why? ==> It's like Dabai

35. How about an egg swimming in Songhua River? ==> It turned into a preserved egg

36. One egg ran to Shandong, how about it? ==> Turned into a Lu (halogen) egg

37. How about an egg that is homeless? ==> Turned into a wild egg

38. An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground. How about it? ==> It turned into an inverted (guided) bomb

39. An egg ran into the flowers. How about it? ==> It became Hua Dan

4. How about an egg swimming in the Dead Sea? ==> Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua went to the seaside to tell jokes. After they finished their jokes, they died. Why? ==> Because of the tsunami (laughs)

42. Why don't men go out? ==> Because when you go out, you become a layman

43. Why can't you see God's penis? ==> The secret can't be revealed

44. Why is there only a tip of the iceberg? ==> Because the other horn was broken by Titanic

45. How to keep the duck from flying away? ==> Give it a wing.

46. Who doesn't have a phone? ==> Perfect phone)

47. Ma Jiajue once said to me privately, "The most lethal thing is a blunt knife". Why? ==> Because it uses a hammer

48. Why does Chang 'e rush to the moon? ==> Hou yi shot for nine days, even if he was a fairy, he couldn't stand it.

49. Little black, little white, little yellow and little red flew. Who would be dizzy and throw up? ==> White rabbit (vomit)

5. A fat man jumped from a tall building. What happened? ==> Become a dead fat man

51. Two people have fallen into a trap. The dead are called dead, and the living are called what? ==> Help

52. Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin? ==> Eraser (eraser difference)

53. What are cloth and paper afraid of? ==> Not (cloth) afraid of 1,, just (paper) afraid of one thousand

54. The next guest is the pride of our China men, and he is a singer. Guess who it is? ==> Guju Chicken

55. Which song has the lyrics of "CoCo Lee"? ==> The moon represents my heart (CoCo Lee, how much I love you)

56. Why does Harry Potter live in a light bulb? ==> Because Harry Potter is a wizard (tungsten wire)

57. What's the best Kirin? ==> Ice cream

58. What Kirin runs fastest? ==> Michelin

59. Causes of constipation (name a foreign star) ==> Stallone (the shit is too thick)

6. Where is the river rushing, the city or the country? ==> In the countryside, because the country river is too urgent (why is it too urgent to fry each other)

61. What is the coolest word: A, B, C, D, E, Ji, G and Xin? ==> Ding (thong)

62. There is a room where pigeons will hide ==> I hid your song (pigeon) on the roof

63. What should I do at 12 o'clock in the evening? ==> Crocodile, because when you are near (zero)

64. Who is the thinnest, the policeman, the hooligan or the soldier? ==> Rogue (rogue professor-thinner)

65. An idiot took down the toilet on the plane and threw it out. Guess why? ==> Because he is an idiot

66. How many brothers does Aladdin have? ==> Three (Ala Jia, Ala Yi, Ala Bing)

67. A group of eunuchs are chatting, guess an idiom ==> Nonsense (no chicken talk)

68. How much is a heart worth? ==> 1 million (single-minded)

69. Which is dumb, the sun, the moon or the stars? ==> Stars (the stars in the sky don't talk-Lu Binghua)

69. What's the pencil's surname? ==> Xiao, sharpen (Xiao) the pencil

7. What color can best imitate? Red (Mill) Imitation

71. Who will help you with your meal when you are full? ==> Fei long, because Fei long added

72. A puppy was traveling in the desert and died. How did he die? ==> He suffocated because there was no telephone pole in the desert to pee

A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole, but he still suffocated. Why? ==> "No peeing here" is posted on the dotted pole.

A puppy was traveling in the desert, and found a telephone pole. Nothing was posted on it, but it still suffocated. Why? ==> Many puppies are waiting in line, but before

a puppy travels in the desert, he finds a telephone pole, and there is nothing stuck on it, and he also queues up. As a result, he still suffocates. Why? ==> Because there are two beautiful dogs MM behind him, he is embarrassed

73. Who will be eliminated from the game, the wolf, the tiger or the lion? ==> Wolves, because-Momotaro (eliminated wolves)

74. Which historical figure deserves the most beating? ==> Su Wu herded sheep by the North Sea (being beaten by the sea)

75. Who ran fastest in history? ==> Cao Cao < p