A joke about calligraphy and painting

1. Li Hongzhang was a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty. Once, he had a distant relative to take an exam. This man is so ignorant that he doesn't know how to answer a question when he receives the test paper. At this time, he had a brainwave and suddenly thought that he was a relative of nave adult Li Hongzhang, so he wrote on the test paper: "I am the wife of nave adult Li Hongzhang." This ignorant relative actually wrote "Qi" as "wife". The examiner smiled, so he approved on the test paper: "As nave's own wife, I dare not marry (take)." Therefore, this relative is still at the end.

2. Buy 1000 pigs

Once upon a time, there was a county magistrate who scribbled. He wanted to treat the guests that day, so he wrote a note for the officers to buy pig tongues. Who knows that the word "tongue" is written too long and divided too widely. In ancient times, the officer mistakenly thought that he was told to buy 1000 pigs. It was very busy for the servant. He traveled all over the city and went to four villages to buy it.

It is easy to buy 500 pigs. As soon as he felt that he couldn't do the job, he pleaded with his master, hoping to buy 500 less.

The county magistrate said angrily, "I told you to buy pig tongues, but I told you to buy thousands of pigs."

Hearing this, the officers replied, "Nothing! But please pay attention in the future, if you want to buy it.

Meat, be sure to write shorter, don't write to buy my wife. "

3. About being single

One person's surname is Bu, whose name is unknown, and the other person's surname is Tu, whose name is self-evident. They became sworn brothers with different surnames.

One day, the elder brother didn't have to say to the younger brother, "Our names are all strange, and my surname is even less." You see, the word "burial" is like the word "home", but it is a little less; It looks like the word "Meng" and has no head, just like an official with a belt. Now I will discuss it with my brother. Could you please move a little from the waist of the word "Bu" to the head of my word "Tomb" to make me a "home"? "

The younger brother replied, "It doesn't matter if I lend you this little money to become a' home', but after you become a home, don't I want to be a bachelor?"

4. Ji and thirsty

An old man wrote the word "Ji" on the table before he went out to visit his friends on the first day of New Year's Day. He thought he would be lucky, but he didn't even drink a cup of tea after seeing several houses. He came home angry and looked at the words on the desk again. Unexpectedly, he stood in the wrong place and read the word backwards, so he said smartly, "I thought I wrote the word' Ji', but it turned out to be the word' dry mouth'." No wonder I didn't even catch a cup of tea. "