The jokes and stories of small animals are humorous.

Several animals joke that two frogs fell in love and gave birth to a clam after marriage. When the male frog saw this, he was furious and said, * * *, what's the matter? Mother frog cried and said, Dad, I had plastic surgery before I met you. (Love needs trust) Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day while cows eat concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed, we can't compete with men. We eat by running errands, and others eat by breasts! (Life needs patience) Ducks and crabs run to the finish line together, and it's a close call. The referee said, a pair of scissors, stone and cloth! Duck is furious: Shit, are you trying to lie to me? When I make cloth, he always uses scissors. The dog said to the bear, marry me. Marry me, and you will be happy. The bear said, I won't marry. If I marry you, I will only have a bear. If I marry a cat, I will have a panda. That would be noble! (Marriage needs reason) The old turtle molested the mussel and was bitten. The old turtle dragged the mussels back and forth reluctantly. The frog saw it and said enviously, "Dear, Brother Tortoise has grown up and has a briefcase in and out." 1 A man kept a parrot, which was so powerful that all the other birds in it were killed by it. Later, the master brought back an eagle and put it together. When the owner came to see it, the parrot's hair hung outside the cage. The host said, "Not this time." But on closer inspection, the eagle died, and the parrot said naked, "This grandson is really amazing. I can't beat Yating without arms. " A driver is driving a truck full of hens, teasing his parrot while driving. A beautiful woman got on the bus. The driver put the parrot and the hen together in the box and invited the beautiful woman to sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty, "May I kiss you?" The beauty shook her head shyly and said, "No". After waiting for a while, the driver reluctantly asked, "Can you hug me?" The beauty still shook her head and said, "No."The driver said angrily, "If you can't, go down." After driving for a while, the driver felt that his behavior was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus. But after a while, the driver asked, "May I kiss you?" Beauty still shook her head. "Can I have a hug?" Beauty still shook her head. "If you can't, go down." This was repeated three times, and finally I got to the chicken farm. The driver opened the suitcase and found that there were few hens in Miu Miu. Only the parrot mentioned a hen and asked, "Can a beautiful woman kiss me?" The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked, "Can you hug me?" The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, "If you can't, go down." The hen was thrown out of the car ... 3 The little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the wolf. It came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance. The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat." Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger. After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. It is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart. The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." "Tu Tu said," So, do you want to be fat or thin? " When the wolf heard this, his heart sank and he became happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B, and he said, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tu Tu asked, "So, do you prefer plump or slim? "The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers." Shit, I told you not to wear a hat. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "boss, do you have a hundred buns?" "Boss:" Oh, sorry, not that much. "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "Boss:" Sorry, I haven't. "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "The boss said happily," Yes, yes, we have one hundred steamed buns today! ! "The little white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I'll buy two! ""Giraffe posted in xxhh to show off: Do you know how good the neck is? Good food can be enjoyed for a long time when eaten! In summer, the cold water slowly flows through my long neck. How delicious it is ~ ~ ~ Hippo feels ashamed and only returns to a "sofa" and swims to the bench where the rabbit sits. In response, he asked, Did you throw up? A year after the giraffe and the monkey got married, the giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to live up and down like this anymore. Monkey is furious: if you leave, you must kiss and climb the tree! Xiao Lv asked the old donkey, why do we eat hay every day and cows eat concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed: we can't compete with others ... we eat by running errands and others eat by breasts! Car accident! The driver was unconscious, and only the pet dog was safe and sound. The traffic police asked the dog: What was your master doing before the accident? The puppy drinks water and wobbles. Traffic police: Oh! He's drinking ... then what are you doing? The puppy sits up and drives with both hands. A female wolf chased a white male rabbit. The male rabbit jumped off several branches, followed by the female wolf. Unfortunately, the female wolf got stuck and the male rabbit ran away. The female wolf broke free in anger and ran after the male rabbit. Gong Mian escaped to the edge of the swamp. There is a recliner and a newspaper. There is no escape. The male rabbit used his quick wits to turn over the edge of the swamp and become a gray rabbit. Then he lies on the chair, covers the newspaper and pretends to be a tourist. The mother wolf chased the white rabbit to the edge of the swamp. When she didn't see it, she asked the gray rabbit if she had seen the white rabbit pass by. The grey rabbit opened the newspaper on her body and asked, "Is it the little white rabbit of the female wolf?" When the mother wolf heard this question, she immediately became ashamed and said, "Did you read the newspaper so soon?" Three turtles came to a restaurant and asked for three cakes. As soon as things were served, they found that there was no money. The tortoise said: I am the oldest, of course, I don't have to go back to withdraw money. The tortoise said: it is most suitable to send a small tortoise. The little turtle said, I can go back and get the money, but after I leave, none of you can touch my cake! The tortoise and the tortoise promised, and the little tortoise left. Because their bellies were empty, the tortoise quickly ate up his cake. However, the little turtle has been missing for a long time. On the third day, the tortoise was so hungry that they all said, let's eat the tortoise's share. Just as they were about to start eating, the little turtle's voice came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to get the money!" " A magical frog jumped into the forest happily. When he entered the forest, he saw a bear chasing a rabbit. The frog stepped forward and said, "Stop, stop! You are the animals I saw after practicing magic, and I will fulfill your three wishes! "Bears are greedy. He said, "I'll go first! I want all the bears in this forest to become females except me! "When! Bear's wish has come true. The rabbit said, "I want a helmet." "When! The rabbit's wish has also come true. The bear said his second wish: "once again, I want all the bears in the nearby forest to become females except me!" " "When! As it wishes. The rabbit said quietly, "I want a motorcycle." The frog wants to know why the rabbit doesn't directly ask for money to buy a motorcycle. Anyway, the frog promised to give the rabbit a motorcycle. The bear finally said excitedly, "Haha! My third wish is that all bears in the world, except me, become females! " When! The wish has come true. I saw the rabbit put on his helmet, started the motorcycle and said his last wish: "I hope that bear is gay!" " ! "In the morning, the manager of a company asked the employees for information, walked into the office, looked at the screens where everyone was, stayed for a while, and then immediately left the door, saying to himself," It's all my fault. I should be back after 3: 30 in the afternoon! "2. There is a daily limit during the bull market. When anonymous's colleagues meet people, they say how much money they have made. They said, "People who don't speculate in stocks are stupid. It's better to rob the stock now. "In the past two days and five days, anonymous lost his temper when he saw people. He said: "md, it is safer to grab stocks! "3. Ask anonymous colleagues for information at work. The female colleague said: "Don't bother, I didn't see that I was speculating in stocks. If I earn less money, will you pay me? "Sweaty, someone interjected:" Sister, you seem to have just bought 300 junk stocks. " .。 . Big sister couldn't hold back: "I'm still waiting for the 300 shares to earn100000." " .。 . Feet per person. . 4. Anonymous's colleague lost 200,000 in three consecutive races, which made him feel uncomfortable. When he met someone, he said, "You should throw it away at once, for it will be even worse if you don't throw it away. "Typical bt psychology, you have to pull a cushion when you die. Two weeks ago, the stock market soared, and my colleague in anonymous said, "Now everyone is speculating in stocks at home and counting their own money." What classes do they have to take? Those who don't speculate in stocks are really * * * ". As a result, I later said, "I'm not speculating." When everyone looked back, it was the boss standing behind. . The consequences can be imagined. 6. anonymous's colleague boasted about how much money she earned in the stock market every day, and then everyone invited her to dinner. She said that my money was in the stock market and I had no money to ask. Recently, she suddenly said, "Well, it's time for you to invite me to dinner. " .。 . Really dizzy. . . Ordinary articles 1. Colleague A in Anonymous talks about qq during working hours, and when he is tired, he climbs to the table to sleep. Colleague B said, "You are free now, can you help me sit down?" The woman was awakened and very angry. She said to her colleague B, "Can't you see I'm busy? Do you think it's strange? "Just after reading it, the game in the computer jumped out. . 2. anonymous's colleague loves online games, stays up late every night, and then asks for leave the next morning and says he is ill. Once, they just doubled their experience in a week and immediately called the manager: "Manager X, I feel very scared. I want to take a week off." Manager X answered the phone and said, "Bird flu? "3. At lunch, anonymous asked us what to eat for lunch," Go to the canteen? " Anonymous said, "If you don't eat it, it's all rubbish." "Then buy a box lunch? "Anonymous said," It is too dirty. If you don't eat it, you will lose your appetite. " "That eat KFC? "Anonymous said," If you don't eat, you will get fat. " "Then go to Pizza Hut?" Anonymous said, "It tastes too expensive." "Then what do you want to eat?" Anonymous said, "Whatever, I'll eat it. "4. Seeing anonymous colleague (who loves online games) dating her boyfriend, he said afterwards that your boyfriend is so handsome, I envy you. . Anonymous said, "I didn't see it." "What do you like about him? He is very nice? " Jane Doe said, "He sells cards. "Suddenly, ft ~ ~ ~ ~ 5. John Doe's colleagues are all in a daze at work. Later, the date of bidding was 1 1 in the morning, and it was written as 1 1 in the afternoon. Later, the tender was issued late, resulting in a loss of several hundred million projects. The leader came to ask questions. Anonymous's colleague said, "It's none of my business. "-I'm speechless, but you know it's impossible to write on it at night. . . .