Two funny jokes!

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! After the county magistrate finished, the host said: Sausage pickles, please! Now, please talk to the township head! The township head said: Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk! Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! Township head: There are no pickles. I'll pick up a lump of shit and lick it for you. Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it." She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!" Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You give it to me."

Go buy two bamboo poles. "

When touts heard that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", they quickly agreed and ran away.

Go to the butcher shop and say to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He understood as soon as he heard it. He immediately cut two pieces of pig liver as gifts.

There are a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. This pig ear, of course. "

This is mine ... "So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, to the magistrate of a county.

"Come back and report, Grandpa," he said. "I bought pig liver!"

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " "

Hearing this, the touts frighten forward, hurriedly replied:

"Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket!"

There is a man and a woman eating.

Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me or not?

The boy finally said: love

The girl asked again, then how do you prove it?

Suddenly, the boy took out 30 yuan money from his pocket.

And ask the girl: Do you have ten dollars?

The girl gave the boy ten yuan. ......

The boys put forty yuan on the table.

soon .....

The girl was very angry and asked the boy, Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have been proved! Forty is just around the corner!

One day I visited the snack street and found a shop selling egg towers.

Every one looks delicious. I want to buy one to try.

I asked the clerk: Is this sold separately?

Shop assistant: No, it's Japanese.

Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions.

Squid is very happy to say: you take the exam!

Then the man roasted the squid. ..

Legend has it that there was once a county magistrate who loved loquat very much. In order to flatter him, someone bought him a basket of good loquat and sent someone to contribute first. When the county magistrate saw it, he posted, "Please accept a basket of pipa." The magistrate wondered, "Why did you give me a basket of pipa? Why is the pipa in a basket? " Then the real goods arrived, and when the magistrate saw it, it was a basket of shiny loquats. The county magistrate replied with a smile: "Thanks to the pipa, when you open the basket, you will find it silent and delicious."

The person who sent the pipa was ashamed and wrote a doggerel: "Loquat is not this pipa, but only hates poor literacy in that year;" If the pipa can blossom and bear fruit, all the pipes in the city will be open. "

Most of them are found online, hehe.