Jokes about urine

1: Ge You went to the toilet on the way to dinner, and his pants got wet when he came back.

Friend: Why are your pants wet? Ge You: Often wet!

Friends don't understand,

Ge You: It's often that people next to you suddenly turn around and shout: Isn't this Ge You? !

2. Mr. Wang goes to pee, and the bird shakes. After urinating, the bird shook three times.

Xiao Li is a friend of mine.

He said, "Go! Please go swimming! "

I said, "No!"

He said, "Why?"

I said, "The water is so dirty that they all pee in it."

He said, "Then let's pee in it!"

I said, "No."

Then he went by himself.

Call me after playing for less than half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan. I was caught peeing.

I said, "How can anyone arrest me?"

He said: "People pee in the water and I pee on the platform."

The next day, I had no face to sneak in again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan, and I'm caught peeing again.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. I pee in the water. Yesterday, I was fined 300 yuan and was ignited. I have a yellow line when I pee! "

On the third day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan, and I'm caught peeing again.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. I caught a cold yesterday and took a shit when I peed."

On the fourth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan, and I'm caught peeing again.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said: "Don't mention it, I saw a super hot beauty today. What she brought out when she peed was actually a white sticky substance."

On the fifth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Forget it, I peed too much, and the whole pool overflowed."

Me: ". . . . . . . . . "

On the sixth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. People are scared away when I come."

Me: ". . . . . . . . . "

On the seventh day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "When I came, everyone in the swimming pool peed.

Me: ". . . . . . . . . "

On the eighth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. When I came, the manager was scared to pee. "

Me: ". . . . . . . . . "

On the ninth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. I can't pee. People won't let me go. "

Me: ". . . . . . . . . "

On the tenth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it, I haven't peed yet. If people see me again, they will be fined 300 yuan first. "

Me: ". . . . . . . . . "

The swimming pool expressly stipulates that anyone who urinates or urinates at will in the swimming pool will be fined 3000 yuan and the tools for committing crimes will be confiscated.

He said, it got me pregnant, didn't it? -It's a classic joke. I'm counting on him to get me pregnant, aren't I

A farmer went to town for the first time to see a doctor. I went early and hung up on number one.

The nurse shouted, "No! Yao Hao! Yao Hao! "

The farmer didn't know to call him, so he didn't agree. When the nurse saw that no one agreed, she called No.2 in. The farmer waited for a long time but didn't call him. He was in a hurry and went to the nurse.

The nurse said, "What's your number?"

The farmer said, "I am the first!" " "

"Why didn't you promise when I called you just now?"

"When did you call me?"

"Yao's number is the first."

One is Yao and the other is Yao. Farmers understand. Just go in and see the doctor.

The doctor asked, "What's the matter with you?"

The farmer replied, "It hurts."

The doctor didn't understand: "A pain?"

The farmer said, "It's just a backache."

The doctor was angry: "Lumbago is lumbago, how is it painful?"

The farmer said, "Your wet nurse said that one is a (waist) and the other is a (waist)."

The doctor giggled and wrote him a note, saying, "Go and have a stool test and a urine test."

Ten minutes later, the farmer came back with shit in his mouth. "Doctor, the urine can barely be swallowed, and the stool can't be swallowed!"

The doctor is in distress situation. Explain to farmers that it is "inspection" rather than "swallowing"!

The farmer understood and went out with a urine bottle. I swallowed my urine just now, and I finally squeezed out half a bottle this time. Just out of the toilet door, I accidentally bumped into a pregnant woman and spilled my urine. The farmer was in a hurry and said:

"What should I do?"

The pregnant woman said, "Don't panic, I have it here!" " "I went to the toilet to pee a bottle and gave it to the farmer. The farmer took it for testing, and then took the test sheet to the doctor. The doctor is also a careless look, looked at the paper and said to the farmer:

"Nothing, you are pregnant."

After hearing this, the farmer went home with the test paper. At home, I hit my wife twice, nu way:

"I said I was on it. You have to be on it. Look, you got me pregnant, didn't you? "

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