A long joke, 120 words, can I have it?

1. When I was born, it happened that the midwife was lovelorn. Because I didn't cry the first time, she beat me up.

When I was one year old, I just learned to crawl and walked around the house. I found a mouse trap under my bed. It is said that the mousetrap has been bought back for two years, and no mouse has been caught. It was my hand that caught it for the first time.

I learned to walk when I was two years old. Play hide-and-seek with my parents at home. I hid under the bed and stepped on another mousetrap. It is said that this mousetrap has been bought back for three years, and it was my leg that was caught for the first time.

When I was three years old, I wanted to go down the stairs. Mrs. Zhang next door said that she would lead me downstairs in order not to fall. As a result, she fell down the stairs before she finished. From the fourth floor to the first floor, you can directly enter the stage of Alzheimer's disease.

When I was four years old, my uncle, a policeman, led me across the street. I didn't say thank you. He was hit by a motorcycle crossing the street and was disabled for the first time.

When I was five years old, my father sent me to kindergarten. My aunt in kindergarten praised me for my beauty. I just finished, a vase fell from the fifth floor and hit my aunt's skull directly.

When I was six years old, I went to the zoo for the first time. I said, that male panda looks better than that female panda. The next day, the panda I praised died in childbirth.

When I was seven years old, I went to primary school. In the final exam, the math teacher said that I got 59 points, even if I got 60 points. The next day, the math teacher died in a car accident.