Tutoring Notes 14丨Facing various demands from naughty children

My family has a 2-year-old and 11-month-old boy, but my mother’s tutoring notes are being updated continuously.

Mom, I want to drink milk! (Note that it was twelve o'clock in the evening, the little guy who couldn't sleep pushed me in my daze)

Mom, scratch my back, my back is itchy. (I vaguely remember that my little niece also had such a "hobby" back then. The longest time her father scratched her was for an hour!)

Mom, I want the floor drain to be dirty, too dirty. (Yes, you read that right, after buying dozens of floor drains of different shapes for the little guy, he further raised his requirements!)

……

Ranran had various requests before going to bed: drink milk, drink water, apply some prickly heat powder, scratch the back, pretend to have a power outage, get a flashlight, get a floor drain, etc.

Last weekend I took Ranran to an English early childhood education institution. As soon as I entered the door, I asked to go to the toilet to see the floor drain. She was not satisfied after looking at it and wanted to remove the floor drain. (Firstly, it was dirty, and secondly, I couldn’t develop his bad habit of dismantling public facilities everywhere, so I flatly rejected his request! As a result, I burst into tears. I really felt wronged! The teachers in the early childhood education institution were also very helpless. , have you ever seen such a child?)

There are three types of demands from naughty children:

First, unreasonable demands that deliberately cause trouble.

Second, sincere and unreasonable demands.

Third, legitimate requirements.

Before getting angry at your child, first look at the actual demands underneath the seemingly unreasonable demands from the child's perspective. Usually, children make unreasonable requests that adults think are deliberately causing trouble in order to attract adults' attention!

What the child really wants to express is, Mom and Dad, play with me for a while, I need your attention!

Check at this time, are you taking an important call, chatting with guests, or checking Moments?

How to solve the problem: first pause your important things and say a few words to your child. Do you want (repeat child's request)? Wait for mom for five minutes, and we'll figure it out together!

What should I do if it doesn’t work? Repeat the above words with a gentle and firm attitude, but be sure to do what you say and not deceive your children! When you focus on your child, he may have forgotten your previous request and started playing with you on a new project.

Although the child is serious about some requests, he cannot satisfy them. What should I do? For example, as mentioned above, floor drains need to be removed in early childhood education institutions.

Of course I can’t agree, but there are many ways of not agreeing.

First, be reasonable, tell the child the reason for not agreeing, tell the whole story, and respect him like an adult.

Ranran wanted a dirty floor drain, but I did not agree and told him clearly that the floor drains used in public places and homes cannot be removed.

Second, design the game or story situation. For example, a floor drain doesn't want to be separated from its mother and will cry if you take it off. (I will write a separate article about the game later, so stay tuned!)

Third, children may understand and cooperate by expressing adults’ emotions. For example, when the child is calmer, complain to him. Mom is very irritable now. We came to class happily, but you keep draining the floor and crying?

Fourth, change your thinking , think of a way to not only meet the children's requirements but also avoid the parents' worries.

This point was inspired by Ranran’s grandma. How did grandma deal with his request? Grandma put on the disposable plastic gloves at home for him and let him play with them as he pleased. Ranran was very happy and said that she was like a master worker. In fact, he just unscrewed the floor drain, looked at it, and put it down, but the process made him very satisfied.

This is nothing to worry about. Parents will generally satisfy their children if they judge it to be a reasonable request!

The more you spend time with your children, the more you discover how cute they are. Especially after reviewing Ranran’s childhood photos and videos two days ago, I even thought why my baby is so cute! Unconsciously, I expanded the scope of my child's legitimate demands in my mind. Haha, he is so willful...