A little joke about reading

Q: Who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? Answer: Take the fall for the cuckold husband.

Watching others have sex.

Q: Who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? Answer: Take the fall for the cuckold husband.

Watching others have sex.

Tomorrow, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you, which reads: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. You are so cheeky that I have no face to live in this world! Lord ~ forgive him! I killed myself.

In the street, a beautiful lady said to me, "One hundred dollars is not the kind of person you think, and two hundred dollars is your person tonight. Three hundred dollars tonight. Don't treat me like a human being. I want to ask you how many people do you want to take with you for 400 yuan tonight? I don't care if you bring someone here tonight for 500 yuan! "

The white rabbit was stronger than the gray wolf and fled. The gray wolf was indignant and chased after him. The rabbit dressed up as a gray rabbit and read the newspaper with glasses. The wolf asked, can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is the white rabbit a strong J wolf? Wolf shame: I'm KAO, so soon?

Eight don't understand: you don't drink the toast, the leader touches it first, the leader goes by car, the leader talks a long story, the leader talks nonsense, the leader takes a shower first, the leader turns over the table, and the leader listens to the cards and you touch it yourself.

Say a pair of men and women xj, after the man went in, he lay motionless on the woman's body and said gently: We are together now, and the woman is a little unhappy. The man violently attacked, and the woman shouted loudly: Mobile is better than Unicom!

Seeing the princess's sad face, the emperor called the imperial doctor The prescription is eight strong men. A few days later, the emperor went out to visit the palace. He was overjoyed when he saw the princess's radiant face. Suddenly, he saw eight thin people standing in front of the palace. He was surprised and asked, Who? The doctor replied: scum!

Donor: Hello! We are the Tibetan Buddhist Committee. When you received this message, we have deducted the donation from your mobile phone fee. In order to thank you, this bureau grants you the highest legal number-mental retardation.

A child in the delivery room smiled after birth, and the midwife was very surprised. They gathered around to observe and found the child's fist clenched tightly. After breaking it, they found a contraceptive. Only the baby smiled and said, "... there is no way to kill me. "

A woman cannot get married because of her small breasts. One day, she said to a blind date man, "Do you dislike my small breasts?" The man said, "Is it as big as steamed bread?" The woman said yes! On the night of the bridal chamber, the man rushed out of the bridal chamber and knelt in front of the sky and shouted, "Oh, my God!" "

There is an old bear in the mountains. You want to catch it. In the first world war, you were defeated by bear J, ashamed and angry. Rest for a few days, fight again and lose again, and then J. After he recovered, he went back. When the bear saw you, he laughed wildly, "Are you here to hunt or sell silver?"

A man took off his clothes to show his girlfriend his biceps and said, "Is this a good idea?" Then he took off his pants and pointed to his thigh and said, this is equivalent to 100 kg of explosives. Then he took off his underwear, and his girlfriend ran to the door and exclaimed, Oh, my God! The lead is so short

A beautiful woman was in a hurry, and there was no paper on the roadside, so she wiped it with leaves. The leaves stung, and the beauty said to * * "Eating meat all day, I can't stand eating vegetables today!" .

A reporter interviewed 100 penguins and asked them what they do all day. The first one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas, and the second one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas. I have been asking 99 of them. When I asked100th, I said: Eat and sleep. The reporter asked: Why not fight peas? Penguin said: I am Doudou, and you? ...

65-year-old girls should tell stories to make her sleep, 65,438+08-year-old girls should tell stories to trick her into sleeping with you, 28-year-old girls should sleep with you automatically without telling stories, and 38-year-old girls should tell stories to trick you into sleeping with her.

The following are humorous messages.

When you smile, the wolf will hang himself. Your sigh. Cats run around. When you scream, the chicken flies and the dog jumps. You are uglier than a ghost without dressing up. Dress up and you will be paralyzed!

You are more capable of revealing people's shortcomings than a mirror, more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi and more resourceful than a grandson, so everyone affectionately calls you "the grandson of Jingzhuang".

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig!

You took part in a ball game the other day and only scored a volley ball. Before the goalkeeper could react, the goal was scored! We all applaud and cheer for you. You stand up and applaud. The stock said, ... the ground is too slippery!

The teacher punished the students to kneel and told them to get up. The first part is: Today, the students hit their heads on the ground. The student thought for a moment and said, last night, Jenny's feet were in the air!

A recruit is practicing lurking in a tree. Two squirrels climbed up his trouser legs. Only one said, Boss, here are two big walnuts. Let's eat them!

It was written on the wall that "it is forbidden to urinate anywhere, and offenders will be fined", but it was repeatedly banned, and it was changed to "it is forbidden to urinate here, and offenders will confiscate tools", and then no one violated it.

Three mice brag. A: I don't drink rat poison for a day. It bothers me. If I don't step on the mousetrap for a day, my feet will hurt. I gave that cat a litter of kittens!

One day, the greedy dog jumped on the dining table looking for food and found a roast chicken. When he was about to eat, the host suddenly shouted, If you dare to do anything to that chicken, I will do anything to you! So the puppy licked the chicken soup.

A mosquito stung his left arm and drank a lot. You were awakened by a sting. At the moment when you waved your right hand to hit the mosquito, the mosquito said to you, "Your blood is flowing in my body!" "

An unmarried woman lamented: Why are mature men and good men husbands, and no unmarried man is decent? She was reminded that the wife's cultivation of a good husband is self-produced, and no man can learn it by himself!

The little carp asked his mother, what does his father do? Mother Fish said angrily: Hum! I filed a lawsuit, and the chef who got 1000 yuan invited me to take a sauna. Fortunately, I have a good eye and found that it is oil.

Magpie comes, and mother says it looks like a bird or a guest; The swallow came, and my mother said it was a good bird or a guest. The crow came, and the child asked, are you a guest? The crow cried, Yes, I am a hacker!

Teacher: "Please make sentences with cows!" " Health: "A cow!" "good! Can you make another one? " "Another cow!"

At the flag-raising ceremony, the headmaster made a thought report: "... I am the son of China people." The following students: "I'm from China."

Stupid bird has four choices: 1. Stupid birds fly first; 2. Stupid birds fly behind; 3. Stupid birds fly around; Stupid birds don't fly-passive, patient, calm, and then lay an egg and pin your hopes on the next generation!

Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a clear line: animals cross the border. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal!

A man was very poor since he was a child. His mother made underwear out of rice bags and ordered him to wear it on his wedding day. The first time I took off my pants on the wedding night, my wife immediately fainted, and the front of my underwear was impressively marked: net weight 30 kg.

One day, an old mouse and a little mouse were wandering in the room when suddenly a cat appeared in front of them, so they turned and ran, and the cat ran after them. Just when they were at the end of their tether, the little mouse running behind shouted at the cat twice: woof, woof. The cat was scared away by these two sounds. The old mouse patted the little mouse on the shoulder and boasted, Yes, it will bark. The little mouse wiped her sweat and said,

A woman, seeing the policeman yelling at her husband, said to the policeman unhappily, "Please pay attention to your words. No one shouted at him except me. "

Finally, connect to the 163 network, then set the free 169, and the link prompts you to enter the user name. The waitress told me that the user names are all guests. Another insight: in the free online 169, the user's name is "guest".

The chemistry experimental class of Grade One in Senior High School is carrying out the experiment of replacing silver. A classmate shouted, "Teacher! There is really money coming out! " Then he said, "Teacher, why don't you sell money?"

On the cliff, a little mouse waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her looked down at it and said anxiously, Dad, don't tell it, it's not ours!

Lele: Mom, how did I grow up? My mother felt that the opportunity for education came, so she said that my mother raised me with a handful of shit and urine. Lele cried: How did you give me those? Oh!

My wife is looking for clothes. She put on a dress she hadn't worn for a long time and looked in the mirror: Oh, dear! Love jiaozi! Sir: That's stuffing, not leaves.

Someone rode his bike into the street, crossed a junction and spread his arms. The traffic police saw it and exclaimed, "Good palms!" Someone waved happily and replied, "Comrades have worked hard!"

In the west of the city, Zhuge Liang played a song, and the sound lingered, listening to 150,000 Wei Jun outside the city. Zhuge Liang: "Thank you. Please pay one or two tickets. " In an instant,150,000 people escaped. ......

An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask, hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

An old friend lost his car. When he put the new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: let you steal it! The next day, the car was not lost, and two locks and a piece of paper were added, which read: Let you ride!

Mouse's dream: drag all the cats into the hole and kill them. Crow's protest: Are we black people in the world? Your plan is: buy a sheepskin and put it on tomorrow.

One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You ... have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I don't see where you are ... pay!