Looking for English jokes

1: Dome Demolition Company (Note: [1] For the convenience of viewing, the nominative case of "I" → this personal pronoun is capitalized. [2] is a pure American spoken language, which does not necessarily conform to our reading habits. )

1. Ding-dong.

Dilbert: "Bert dog, go and see who it is?"

(1), Ding Dong.

Debort: Doug Burt, look who's at the door.

② Worker: "Hey, I'm from the Dome Demolition Company, and I was sent to demolish this house."

(2) Staff: "Hello. I'm from Big Ball Destruction Company. I have a work order to demolish this house. "

Bert the dog: "You seem to be going the wrong way. This is Walnut Street, and Walnut Street is at the other end. "

Doug Burt: "It seems that you have the wrong address. This is Walnut Avenue, and Walnut Street is just across town."

4. Worker: "What a pity! I don't have time to drive all the way there. "

(4) Worker: "Oh, phlegm! I don't have time to drive there. "

Worker: "Then I will level this house. You don't think it will be too disturbing? "

Worker: "If I just raze this house to the ground, will it be very troublesome?"

Bert the dog: "It's a little inconvenient. Try the Johnson family next door. "

Doug Burt: "That would be a little inconvenient. The Johnsons next door. "

⑦ Dilbert: "What's that noise?" Bert the dog: "There seems to be no one in the Johnson family."

Debort: "What's that loud noise?" Doug Burt: "Obviously the Johnsons are not at home."

2. Teaching video

Bert the dog: "You have watched this video over and over again for several days."

(1), Dogbert: "You have been watching this video over and over again these days."

(2) Dilbert: "This tennis teaching video is great. Looking at it, I feel that my technology has improved a lot. "

Debort: "These tennis instruction tapes are so great that I can feel my skills improving when I look at them."

Dilbert: "Actually, I don't think I need to play at all."

(3) Debort: "Actually, I don't think I need to play this game myself anymore."

3: Big pudding

1. Bert the dog: "Maybe I should write a book."

(1), Dogbert: "Maybe I should write a book."

Bert the dog: "no … maybe I should just study." "

Doug Burt: No … maybe I should read a book.

Dog Bert: "Maybe it's good to watch TV every week ..." Dog Bert: "Or watch TV and watch whatever you want, and then turn into a stupid and fat pudding."

(3) Bert the dog: "Maybe I'll watch the TV guide …" Bert the dog: "Maybe what I watch will turn into pudding …"

4: Pretending to be an adult

1. Dilbert: "Sometimes I feel that although I am an adult on the outside, I am actually a child at heart. I hope no one finds out. "

(1), Debort: "Sometimes I feel like a child in an adult's body. I hope no one notices."

2. Dilbert: "It seems that I stopped developing when I was fourteen years old and began to pretend to be an adult."

(2) Debort: "It's like I stopped being mature at the age of fourteen and just started pretending."

Dilbert: "Women don't feel that way, I bet." Wife: "Yuck."

(3) Debort: "I bet women will never feel that way." Wife: "lice." (Note: cooties originally means lice, which is spoken among children. When a child doesn't like playing or sitting with another child, he can say lice or he has lice. )

5: Stop there

1. Salesman: "Stop, boy!"

(1), salesman: "Stand there, man!"

2. Dilbert: "Oh! ..... You must have seen me eating grapes in the' B' aisle. " Salesman: "I just remind you to pay."

(2) Debot: "Uh-oh ... You must have seen me eat that grape in the' B' aisle." Shop assistant: "I just want to make sure you will pay."

3. Salesman: "It seems to be 192 pounds. What about before you came? " Dilbert: "It's so comfortable."

(3) Salesman: "It looks like 192 pounds. What was it before you came in? " Debort: "Happy ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~" "

6: Battle of the Mermaid

Dilbert: "Friend, fishing is just a fight between mermaids."

(1), Debot: "It's just man to fish, my friend."

2. Dilbert: "It's just that with my super wisdom, equipment and physical strength, I'm a little invincible."

(2) Debort: "Although it doesn't match my brain, equipment and strength."

Bert the dog: "Wow, he can also water ski!" "

Bert the dog: "Boy, all this, he can also water ski."

7: Golf Gene

Dog Bert: "Scientists have discovered the gene that makes people love golf."

(1), Doug Burt: "Scientists have discovered the genes that make some people love golf."

(2) Dilbert: "How to identify golf genes?"

(2) Debort: "How do they know it's a golf gene?"

3. Bert the dog: "There is a checkered pattern, which is very dishonest." Dilbert: "Absorb new scientific knowledge. With you, I am finished."

(3) Dogbert: "It's a grid, it's a lie." Debort: "I probably shouldn't rely on you to update my scientific knowledge."

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