Phrases that make you feel instantly better

Introduction: I was drinking in a bar last night. I was inevitably a little lonely and started playing with my mobile phone. At this time, a handsome guy came up to me and talked to me: "Beauty, my friend and I lost in Dare. , let me come over and kiss you, can you cooperate with me?" I nodded and quickly closed my eyes, pouting my mouth and waiting for his kiss. When I opened my eyes again, I found that he had taken away my mobile phone.

1. The carp said to the fisherman: "Let me go. Let me go and I can fulfill your three wishes." "What if I eat you?" "I will become powerful after eating you. Not only is it rich in nutrients, you will also gain terrible magical power, which is omnipotent..."

2. Every time I see my wallet is deflated again, I check the heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys online. Much money. It turns out that I still have several million in real estate! ! ! I felt much better instantly...

3. One day I said to my wife: "If you treat me badly, I will have sex with you." My wife said calmly: "Don't be crazy and attack you. Just two minutes, you have hemorrhoids, why are you so gay?"

4. I was riding a bus and saw a wretched man who kept rubbing the butt of the girl in front of me. I couldn't stand this kind of person the most. . I immediately stood up and offered my seat to the girl. The girl kept thanking me, and I smiled knowingly. But being just, how could I let that bastard off easily, so I stood behind him.

5. Did you know that putting your mobile phone next to you while sleeping can make you gain weight easily? Simon Kyle, an expert at the University of Manchester in the UK, said that the human body needs a dark environment to produce enough melatonin, promote metabolism, and convert food into energy. When electronic products are charged, they emit short-wavelength blue light, which blocks melatonin production and leads to obesity. So that’s it, I finally found the root cause.

6. The director asked her to go to the hotel for an interview. She was a little hesitant. The director said: "Don't worry, your parents are my friends and I won't harm you." Who knew that the director couldn't wait to enter the hotel room? She was asked to take off her pants, but she had to take them off silently for the show. The director looked at it, threw a bag to her and said, "Hahaha! I knew you weren't wearing any, and your mother wanted me to remind you to wear long johns!"

7. When I got home, my mother handed me her mobile phone. I read the text message: Mom, my girlfriend and I were caught renting a room. Please call Officer Ye quickly and pay 3,000 yuan to redeem me. I asked my mother: "Have you sent money?" My mother nodded, and I said depressedly: "It's not like you don't know that I'm single. This is obviously a lie." My mother looked at me and said, "I would rather believe it." It’s true!”

8. At a barbecue at a friend’s house last night, a friend insisted on biting the beer with his teeth, but he couldn’t bite it open for a long time. I couldn't stand it any longer, so I said to him, "Here's a wine starter, are you tired?" Who knew what this guy would say: "If I hadn't brushed my teeth today and it was a bit slippery, I would have opened a box long ago."

9. My buddies often show off their affection in the circle of friends. One day I couldn’t bear it anymore and asked him: “Have you never heard that showing affection will make you leave quickly?” He smiled sadly: “I just knew it. Ah, why does this sentence of TM not work at all?"

10. At the end of the story, the storyteller always ends with the sentence "If you want to know the future, please listen to the next chapter." . Many teachers now also use this method to talk about a topic, talk and talk, and talk at the critical moment and say: "We will talk about this answer in the extracurricular tutoring class."

11. Today There was a quarrel between a male colleague and a female colleague in the office, and they were arguing with each other. When the woman couldn't quarrel with the man, she became anxious. She picked up the perfume and sprayed it on the man's body. She said, "Hey, I can't quarrel with you. Let your wife stop you!" The office was instantly messy!

12. In the next month or two, the number and frequency of your mother’s phone calls will increase significantly. Don’t be fooled by her sweet words and inquiries. Please remember that her purpose is only to communicate with you. A: Let you wear long johns.

13. Bajie snaps: Dead mosquito, I will kill you... Tang Monk: Amitabha, Bajie, monks are compassionate, why do you kill? Bajie: Master, it bit me and sucked my blood. If I don’t kill it, it will come again... Tang Monk: Damn, it’s such a pig, you won’t take off its straw...

15. A female kindergarten teacher. At the beginning of the school year, because the children in the small class were more excited and cried when they first entered kindergarten... One child cried for a long time and pulled me and said: Teacher, I am tired of crying, why is my mother still crying? Not coming? I...

16. When I was a child, there were more than a dozen sheep grazing on the top of the mountain, lying in the grass and basking in the sun. When I woke up, the sun was going down and the sheep were gone. I was instantly frightened, fearing that my mother would beat me to death..., When I called my mother at the top of the mountain (my home is at the foot of the mountain, you will be heard if you shout loudly), my mother said, I don’t want the sheep anymore, please come back. I went home crying and found that there were no missing sheep, they were all at home! ! ! Just leave me on the mountain.

17. A second-rate man "marries" a wife. Man: "It's very depressing to have a fat wife." Friend: "What's wrong, she bullies you?" Man: "That's not true, because she is too fat and her nerves are buried too deep. Even if she touches her for a long time, there is no response." Friend: "No way, there is still such a thing, what happened in the end?" Man: "Finally, she was pricked with a needle, and then she reacted and blew out a big breath."

18. Squatting in the toilet and doing nothing I sent a text message to a few friends: Damn, did you drop your phone in the toilet? One person replied: Even if you drop shit, you still use it to send text messages? Another responded: Are you texting shit? Another person replied: Damn, even shit can send text messages? Damn, we are all good friends...

19. I went shopping at work in the morning, and when I was checking out, I saw a beautiful woman in front of me taking out a banana from her bag. Just when I was wondering, the beauty opened the banana and took out a stack of money. It turned out to be a wallet. The wallet was made into the shape of a banana. The person next to me might be as curious as me and said to the beauty: "Your wallet is very unique!" The beauty said: "Yes, it can also be inflated and used as a toy!"

20. Although I don’t usually write love words, some friends still ask me how to write them. According to my observation, a good love story usually consists of two elements: 1. Things you wouldn’t normally do; 2. The second sentence must contain the word “you”. For example, "I usually don't eat arsenic, except when I'm with you." "I'm always careful when crossing the road, but occasionally I want to be hit by your car." "It's cold to hang myself alone in the middle of the night, but thinking about you makes me happy." It’s warm” Wait!

21. The third season of The Voice ended perfectly, but Parhat was a little disappointed. He walked off the stage and asked Wang Feng: "Teacher, didn't you tell me that as long as you relax and perform steadily, you will become a champion?" How did you become the runner-up? "Yes, I said it, but I was right." Wang Feng pointed at Zhang Bichen and said, "Bichen is the champion!"

22. There is a foreign female teacher in the class today. During class, Xiao Ming kept looking at the teacher's lower body. Teacher: "Do you know it's rude of you to do this?" Xiao Ming: "Sorry, I've watched too many movies, I thought there were subtitles below..."

23. When the relative introduced me, he said: " The monthly salary is less than 20,000, the height is less than 2 meters, and the weight is over 100!" It is much better than saying: "The monthly salary is 2,000, the height is 165cm, and the weight is 170cm!"

24. I went to the supermarket with my parents today and saw an anthropometric measuring device at the door of the supermarket. I invested one yuan and stood up to measure, but who knew that the machine actually appeared: "This machine only measures people, thank you for your cooperation." Suddenly there was a burst of laughter around the supermarket, don't stop me, labor and management are going to tear this piece of shit apart!

25. Once I was drunk and entered the women's restroom by mistake. At that time, a woman screamed and yelled. In an instant, I was half sober, pretending to be confused and crying: "I can't live anymore, the whole world thinks I look like a man!" Later, the girl apologized to me and comforted me for a long time!

26. I was walking down the street with MM this afternoon and happened upon a group of black people taking pictures. There were a lot of people coming and going, so we couldn’t take good pictures. We stopped politely and watched them finish taking pictures before leaving. They passed in front. I saw the girl next to me saying silently: "They can only take pictures during the day.

Just leave them alone, they're so pitiful. "

27. Because his son did not study well, he was scolded by his mother. After being scolded, the son looked at his father with sad eyes and said, "Why did you marry her? "Dad also replied with sad eyes: "It's not because of you! "

28. In the chemistry class, the teacher explained the relationship between solvents and solutes: "A certain solvent can only dissolve a certain solute. For example, if you eat one bowl of rice, then another, and you are full after the third bowl, can you still eat it? "A student asked: "Are there any more dishes? ”

29. “Can I ask one last question? "I love you. I have something to do tomorrow. I don't have much money. I have class on the 8th and I haven't done my homework. I can't do this question. Lan Xiang, Bao Da, save my mother. I don't regret it. I don't know about Amway. I don't know why the pigeons are so big." The harm I have done to you at this moment has caused the shadow area in your heart to be about 9 square centimeters. Do you have anything else to ask? ”

30. Today I saw a monk picking up a courier. He opened the courier package and took out a Diamond Sutra. Oh my god, I don’t have to go to the West to get sutras these days.

Editor's note: I always felt that the ID photo was ugly and damaged my image. I finally asked my friend from the Public Security Bureau to take a new ID photo. After a long time, I finally decided not to change it. Well, the reason was comparison. For a moment, he is still more handsome than before! Let’s talk about the emotional phrases that make you feel heartbroken in an instant

1. People in the past are like moldy bread, fermented milk, overnight tea, and the next day’s fragrance. , you remember how beautiful it was back then, but you can't restore your original appearance. Don't look back, you know that the past is irreversible.

2. People who are nostalgic are always easily hurt and like to wait for the rest of their lives. You are fine, but how long can he remember you if you miss him?

3. Love so uneasily, hurt so thoroughly, I became everything you wanted, but lost it. I have never owned you.

4. You must be more forceful when saying goodbye, because any more look may be the last look, and any more words may be the last words.

5. The saddest thing is that you meet, get, and lose in a hurry. Then it leaves a scar in your heart. It hurts whenever you want.

6. People are different after all. A dinner delivered by someone in the storm is not as good as a casual good night from someone.

7. If the person you like doesn't like you. So even if people all over the world like you, you will still feel lonely.

8. Don’t bear to hurt others, always forgive with a smile; don’t care about feeling sorry for yourself, always support with tears. Some feelings can only be conveyed to the heart and rubbed into tears; some feelings can only be kept on the lips and hidden in the heart. 9. We once loved each other and loved each other very much, but now we are trying to forget our love.

10. Parting has been planned for a long time, so why make excuses? All leaving is a sign of not loving or not being able to love. After leaving, you may still like me, but you don’t have to be there anymore. Perseverance together.

11. We will never think that each other is irreplaceable like before; we will never love as hard as before until we cry.

12. Don’t think of yourself as too great. You must know that in other people’s world, no matter how good you are, you are just a supporting role.

13. Sometimes, my heart is cut by a knife, but I have to smile brightly, I am very fragile, but I act so strong, and tears roll in my eyes, but I tell everyone that I am fine.

14. I always pretend to be free and easy when I say goodbye, but I suppress my thoughts after saying goodbye. I can’t avoid the night of drinking and singing, but I can’t avoid the deserted street.

15. I think. I can do a hundred things to keep you, but in fact I can't keep you even if I do a thousand things. What makes me even sadder is that I can't actually do a single thing.

Phrases that make people feel distressed

Phrases that make people feel distressed

1. The movement of raising the corners of the mouth no longer belongs to me...

2. Let it go You, quit the drama with no ending...

3. No matter how beautiful the vows are, they are still false, and no matter how miserable the ending is, they are still true.

4. In this world, there will always be more people who laugh at you than who care about you.

5. Who, like me, keeps changing their signatures, actually just wants to make someone feel something...

6. Time flies, who are you waiting for...

7. The wound of missing soul, I don’t even know for whom the tears are shed...

8. I am stubborn and unwilling to give in, but all I get in return is scars.

9. Being invisible is not to avoid anyone, but just to hope that someone will notice that I have disappeared.

10. Some friends used to have nothing to say, but now they have nothing to say.

11. Some people take it lightly when they see it clearly.

12. Pearl is a shell’s lifelong heartache, and you are my lifelong concern...

13. All you can do for me is happiness, and all I can do for you is blessing. …

14. The darkness pours out the sadness, hurting me alone, but how many people can see it? The moonlight cries out about the coldness of the sky and sleeps with me alone. How many people can understand? Who can understand the helplessness of no one speaking, the depression and sadness?

15. Do you always keep revising your bottom line for someone? Keep making excuses for someone, keep trying to forgive...but, in fact, they don't like you that much.

16. You will never see me when I am the loneliest, because I am the loneliest only when you are not by my side.

17. A young child is a simple and ignorant angel, so kind that one can love him... He will learn to raise his head very high, just to prevent tears from falling in his eyes, even though he is very hurt. , he will also turn around and smile pretending to be strong, and then tell you: I am fine, really fine...

18. Walk alone, sleep alone, think alone, and indulge in intoxication alone, One person is busy, one person is tired, one person is irritable, and one person feels it.

19. Some people laugh with tears, and some people cry with smiles.

20. Although people changed from animals, it is a pity that many people changed back again.

21. Lasting forever, not at all. It's sheer nonsense.

22. One of the most tacit things we do is that I don’t contact you and you don’t contact me. In the end, we are really strangers.

23. I’m online, then you’re online, then you’re invisible, then I’m invisible, then you’re online, I get it.

24. In order to wait for you, I missed the person waiting for me.

25. There is a kind of fate called love at first sight, a kind of feeling called having it before, an ending called destiny, and a kind of heartache called endless.

26. I heard that people who are used to being invisible have a scar...

27. The desolation of this place is filled with the sadness you gave...

28. Memory is like water poured into the palm of your hand. No matter you spread it out or hold it tightly, it will eventually flow cleanly from your fingers, drop by drop.

29. There is no legend about the grass growing and the orioles flying in this city. It always lives in reality, with fast drumbeats, hurried figures, numb eyes, and false smiles, and I am being assimilated.

30. I am getting closer to my dream step by step. Even if it is broken into pieces, I will try my best to save it and use everything in exchange for it.

31. When I cry, you cry too. I think you're not as lonely as I am. When I smile, you are still crying. It turns out you are lonelier than me.

32. Please cherish the people around you who love you silently. Maybe, one day when he really leaves. You will find that it is you who cannot live without each other, not him.

33. Destiny comes and goes, and when I wake up, I end up having a dream, but I have no regrets. I use everything to exchange for your look back. I am willing to sink in the mud of love in this life. You are at the end of the world, and I am at the end of the world...

34. Who is the passer-by in so-and-so’s life, who is the wheel of life, the dust of the past life, the wind of this life, and the endless sad soul. In the end, no one belongs to anyone.

35. When a beast is injured, it can run to a cave to hide, then lick its wounds and persist on its own, but once it is greeted with greetings, it cannot bear it.

36. One day I will walk away from you silently without making any sound.

37. The most tiring thing in the world is to watch your heart break and have to glue it back together.

38. If you are willing to give up, you will give up. If you are used to it, you will get used to it.

39. When you are online, I don’t know what to say to you. When you are offline, I regret not saying anything to you. Heartbreaking mood phrases

1. We can be disappointed, but we cannot be blind.

2. Those things called love that you once gave me have long been wiped out.

3. They never seemed to say goodbye formally. And every time it's different.

4. Beauty is not guilty, it’s just that she is too beautiful.

5. Watching the flowers blooming and falling in front of the court, I am not surprised by the honor or disgrace. I look at the clouds in the sky and have no intention of leaving or leaving.

6. The lifelong promise of cherished love has instantly become a mark of sadness.

7. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean pardoning, but letting oneself live. Loneliness is not about whether you have friends, but whether there is someone living in your heart.

8. Missing is a kind of happy sadness, a sweet melancholy, and a warm pain; missing is the long accumulation of yesterday and the longing for a beautiful future.

9. I will love myself well. I swear, it doesn’t matter. If the sky falls, I will carry it myself.

10. It’s snowing outside the window. I brew a cup of coffee and wait until it cools down, then I realize I’m thinking of you again. How can you understand my expectations!

11. We went from acquaintance to knowing each other, from falling in love to hurting each other.

12. The falling water touches the flowers, and the falling flowers unintentionally create a curtain that deeply locks the dream of autumn. The past is filled with clouds and smoke, and a pond full of sadness falls. The mist and rain cannot survive the world of mortals, and hope I don’t want to look back at the sorrows of the past. I can only sit alone in front of the window, invite the bright moon, and scatter my sorrow in the world of melodious songs.

Thirteen. The youth is still there, but my heart has long been separated from the mortal world and turned into a water lily. When you come, I smile without saying a word. When you leave, I am calm and not surprised.

14. Weakness. Always interprets sadness as ~ wandering.

15. In everyone's life, there will be some traces engraved in the heart that are difficult to erase; there are always some past events parked in the memory that cannot be let go.

16. Our love has gradually gone away.

17. There are many things in life that are destined not to be perfect. When someone comes in, someone will leave. Just like the end of youth, what is taken away is laughter, but what is left is sighs.

18. There is a kind of love, which is obviously deep love, but cannot be expressed; there is a kind of love, which obviously wants to give up, but cannot give up; there is a kind of love, which is clearly known to be suffering, but cannot be opened; Planting love, knowing that there is no way forward, but the heart can no longer take it back.

19. This is really cruel, but I have to admit it, although it hurts my heart.

20. What makes me sad is not that I am still alone, but that you are two people now.

21. Remember, on a rainy day, you said you would be in pain I, now, it’s raining again, taking away all our vows.

Twenty-two, do you think it will be in this life, in this life, or in the next life?