Short jokes about learning, please, 3Q.

Yu Qian didn't study hard when he was a child. When his grades are not good, he often cheats his father when he comes home. His father bought a polygraph ... One day, when Yu Qian came back from the exam, his father asked, What did you get? Yu Qian: 90. Beep, beep ... the polygraph rang. His father asked: to tell the truth, how many points? Yu Qian: 80. Beep, beep, beep ... It's ringing again. His father was anxious: this unfortunate child, to tell the truth, how many points? Yu Qian: 70. Beep, beep, beep ... The polygraph is still ringing. His father trembled with anger: tell the truth! ! ! Yu Qian: 40 ... toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot ... His father couldn't help it, saying, you have wasted all my efforts. Why don't you learn from me? At that time, your father got 100 in our exam ... thumped ... the polygraph exploded @ @ $ # * @ #! $! Student: "Teacher, I saw a rabbit on the ground yesterday." Teacher: "Didn't I teach the usage of excessive words?" Animals have to use their heads, and only flat things can be used. Student (indignant): But when I saw it in the middle of the road, it was already flat. "Learning Experience After graduating from a Buddhist seminar, Master asked the students to report their learning experience. A student said, "Before a mosquito bites him, he must have killed it with a bang;" "It's different now. When the mosquito bites him, he will say to the mosquito,' Please enjoy your meal!' "A reporter interviewed a student's report card. "Children, will you be beaten if you don't test well?" "Yes, there are three dozen exams in my family." "Oh, three dozen exams?" "Well, I scored 70 points in men's singles, 60 points in women's singles and below 50 points in mixed doubles." After the mid-term exam, the math teacher wants to announce the results. He said, "There are as many people with 90 points or more as those with 80 points or more; There are as many people over 80 as over 70. " When the words came out, the whole class cheered. A classmate asked, "So ... how many people failed?" The teacher replied easily: as many people failed in the class. "English class ...: This is what my junior told me ... One day, they were having an English class ... If the teacher asked the students to name common English words ...: No.1 student said: OK ...: No.2 student said. ......: Later I called a classmate ... He stood up and said: Shirt ... is shit! A shirt is a shirt ... In a Chinese class, the teacher asked him some related idioms in order to understand the Chinese level of this overseas Chinese student. " Can you say an idiom to describe a person's happiness? The Chinese teacher gave a question and said, "However, it is better to have a number in this idiom, such as one, two, three, four …" The overseas Chinese student thought for a moment and said happily, "I see, Jiuquan is smiling"! Ha! What a "Laughing Jiuquan"! The whole class burst into laughter, and the old Chinese teacher almost fainted. A monitor sleeps in class and asks his classmates to call him after class. The students played a trick on him. Get up, class is over! The monitor rubbed his eyes: Stand up! At this time, only a dozen students stood up in a daze and said, thank you, teacher! When I was studying English, I worked as a tutor for a junior high school child. I found these horrible words in English textbooks: Dad is dead (bus), my brother is dead (yes), and my sister is dead (Mis? ) In ................................................................................................................................................................................, Xiao Ming wrote: Once upon a time, there was an old man named Arabia. One day, he went out to climb the mountain. When he climbed to Singapore, he suddenly saw a Rome with a Cape of Good Hope coming straight at him. He was so scared that he started to run to Nagoya and soon closed Macao. A freshman in college catering bought a scone. He was walking on the road when a big car came in front of him. In a panic, scones fell under the wheels. When the car passed by, the freshmen who were regretting were surprised to find that the scones were embedded in the ground intact! In order not to waste, he decided to pick up the scones, but no matter how hard he tried to pry the spoon, a kind old man passed by. After the old man knew the situation, he immediately took out a fried dough stick from his schoolbag and saw that the scones were actually made by hand! Professor Euphemism is in an ethics class. He told his classmates how to remind others of some embarrassing things. "For example, if you see a girl with grass clippings on her ass, you can euphemistically say,' Girl, you have grass clippings on your shoulders'. The girl looked down at her shoulder and then-saw it. " At this time, a female student raised her hand and stood up and said, "Professor, the zipper of your tie is open!"! "One night, a girl was wandering on the platform of the three religions, but when she saw a girl with long hair coming, she couldn't help staring at her. As soon as she approached, the woman suddenly stopped and stared at me. Yu Daoan, "I'm not very handsome"! But when I saw Yi's eyes wide open and her mouth twitching, I sighed, "Am I too ugly?" ? But see the bigger Iraq's eyes, the more Zhang Yue opens her mouth. I'm afraid I'll always be a real gentleman. I've never offended her, let alone met her. I tried to turn around, but suddenly I heard Iraq shout. . . . . . Ah. . Strange. ! ! "。 Yi rubbed his nose and drifted away. I'm already sweating. When I first entered the school, I got my student number twice, and everyone copied it in a daze. There are two of them: those who cheated twice in college advised them to drop out of school. Married people advised him to drop out of college. My eyes are not good. When I handed out the paper, I found it was copied. Those who have been married twice in college are advised to drop out.